Loving the Ruthless Wave

Simula

The smell of cigarette and smoke is all over the place, the loud music is echoing and the wild people went crazy while dancing.

"Bakit kasi hindi mo pa iwan ang asawa mo Mavis? He's nothing but a jerk!"

Mabilis kong nilagok ang isang baso ng tequila na hindi sumisipsip ng lemon. I felt the heat it brought on my throat.

"Tingnan mo ang sarili mo, napapabayaan mo na dahil sa lalaking iyon." She added.

"I'm fine Arry,"

"Fine!? Is that your definition of fine Mavis? Puro ka galos at pasa. Halos hindi ka nga makalakad ng maayos. Hindi ko rin makakalimutan na nahospital ka noong nakaraang linggo dahil sakanya."

Umiling lang ako sakanya at tumingin sa baso ng alak na hawak ko.

"It's all my fault..."

"Damn that reason! Kahit kasalanan mo pa hindi niya dapat yun gawin sayo! Hindi siya lalaki. Ang sabihin mo, he's an asshole. Tang ina!"

"I'm fine Arry, hayaan mo na."

"My tita is a good lawyer, maraming koneksyon, makipag divorce ka na sa asawa mo, tutulungan ka namin, sisirain niya lang ang buhay mo, he did nothing but hurt you."

Muli akong umiling.

"My life is already wrecked beforehand, wala na rin namang magbabago."

I've been married for three years now, with the man I have always adored since I was little. I have loved him for years but he doesn't feel the same for me.

He was about to marry the woman he really love but I did everything to make it stop. Pinakiusapan ko ang daddy ko na gawin ang lahat para sa akin siya makasal.

True enough, I did marry him.

But ever since our first day, he's always angry at me for meddling with his life. He loathe me for ruining his relationship with Nichole.

Nichole is one of my close friend way back on highschool and college. I witnessed their love story. I witnessed how great they love each other.

I witnessed everything and imagine how hurt and broken I was. My friend with the man I love for a very long time.

Ako lang talaga ang kontrabida sa storya nila. Ako ang pang gulo sa pagmamahalan nila.

I can't help but be bitter everytime because even if he is already my husband now, that will never change that fact that I will never have his heart.

It belongs to someone else. It only belongs to Nichole.

That thought pains me.

Sa simula pa lang wala na akong laban. Sa simula pa lang talo na talaga ako pero pinipilit ko pa rin ang sarili ko sa taong kahit kailan ay hindi ako magugustuhan.

Tingin nga lang niya ay ipinagdadamot niya pa, paano pa kaya ang kaunting atensyon at pagmamahal.

Daig ko pa ang pulubing nanlilimos ng kaonting atensyon sakanya.

But I am trying my best everyday, I never gave up on him. I am hoping that the day will come that he will forget Nichole and he will love me finally.

I've waited for many years. Ngayon pa ba ako susuko?

"I love him Arry. I can't imagine my life without him."

Mabilis kong tinungga ang isa pang baso ng alak.

"Bobita stupida! Kailan ka ba matatauhan, ilang taon na ang lumipas pero wala namang nagbago sa pakikitungo niya sayo."

"I love him."