I had awoken with the severe pain of aftershock. I was in a pale white room in nothing but a thin bedsheet covering me. I sigh of relief because this is the first time I've woken up knowing I've made it out alive and I'm a hospital. I feel a shiver roll my up body, I couldn't move my arms or legs.
Move! I commanded by body, and still. Nothing.
My eyes moved down towards to my fingers that rested at my sides. I shut my eyes, took a deep breath and tried again. I compelled my finger to move, but it didn't obey.
"Jade," He whispered, his voice a wicked hiss that had me whimpering for hell.
The paralyzed state I was in couldn't help me as Oliver's tall figure had emerged from the white walls. His dark figure, looming over me. He had that sick smirk on his face as he slowly approached me, baring his knife.
"Finally, Jade." He laughs, throwing his head back before stopping all at once. "All to myself!" He runs his fingers over the blade of the knife and gathers a glob of blood before popping his finger into his mouth and licking it clean.
I screamed, a powerful force from within allowed me to cry out in fear, rage, anger, sadness. I can't piece together exactly what it was. All I know is that once I screamed, I woke up from my nightmare.
"Jade!" Thomas shouted, his voice so frail I feel as though it might break. He's got his hands on my shoulders, forcing me down as he shouts my name. "It's okay, Jade, it's only a nightmare. You're here, love. You're safe."
Once I realize I'm home, with my husband, I feel the weight lift off of me. I realize two things, that I'm covered in sweat, and that I've frightened Tommy.
My eyes widen at the sight of Tommy on top of me, straddling me. Hair falls over his dashing face, the worry leaves his features.
When was the last time any of this happened? And I know, it's not the time or place for such thoughts to arise. But I've missed my husband.
"Thomas-" I grab his wrist as he peals himself off of me.
My eyes soften as he does lays beside me. Lightening breaks the sky, and thunder follows startling. I haven't noticed it was still dark out until now, I guess haven't slept long before this happened.
"Jade, it's alright, I've got you." He reassures me, kissing my cheek. "Just try to get some sleep."
I wrap his arm around me like a blanket as he rests his head in my neck. Tommy exhales, and melts against me as I feel my eyes get heavy and a deep sleep take over. And in his arms, I feel safe.
In the morning, I manage to bathe by all myself. I used to be able to do the basics, but now I can clean every part of me.
I let Tommy sleep in, which was something I used to be able to do.
It felt good, the freedom of bathing by myself. I couldn't even look at myself a month or two ago. The woman, Caroline, used to help clean myself. She would be so kind to my aching heart.
She would help me bathe during times like this, times when Tommy was no where to be seen. I hated being debilitated, I hated how weak I was. How I couldn't even put my arms over my head without crying out in pain.
Caroline used to talk to me only when she braided my hair. She didn't speak much English, but I would teach her in exchange for assisting me.
"Mrs. Shelby?" She never started a conversation without saying my name. Her voice was squeaky, she had crystal blue eyes and bright yellow hair. Caroline was from a place called Norway. She was a little older than me, she had two children from a ruined marriage. Mikel and Lilly, they lived in Norway with her mother, she made the money here only to send it back home.
"Yes, Caroline?" I couldn't move my head much, especially with her braiding my hair.
"Mr. Shelby tells me tomorrow is a celebratory day for you."
I smile, looking down at my lap.
I hadn't worn my wedding ring since the surgeon had taken it off of me. Tommy's put it in a gold chain and wears it around everywhere he goes. He still wears his wedding ring of course, but carry's mine around with him as well. I should take back from him, I want it on my finger now. Especially since I've gotten the OK to no more surgeries.
"Yes, tomorrow is my birthday, Caroline."
"Birth-day?" She repeats after me, "Mrs. Shelby, how old will you be?"
"Yes, birthday. And I'll be twenty-nine." The thought makes me feel so old. Mum had died earlier than then, I'm sure. And Jacob, I let out a shaky breath at the memory of my brother. I could almost hear his voice, Fuck a birthday! Every days our birthday Jade!
"It's a sad day for you, Mrs. Shelby?" She tilts her head, looking down at me.
I swallow, "Yes. Remember Jacob, my brother who died?"
"Your twin." I had taught her that word a week ago. Caroline called me unique for that, and I giggled.
"Yes."
Caroline gasped, "Oh, you share the same birth-day!" She wrapped her arms around me and held me close. "I'm so sorry, Mrs. Shelby!"
The memory of Caroline makes me so happy. She was such a beautiful light during such a fucking dark time. She made me feel happy. She shielded me from my insecurities and promised I would feel better. And I did.
Tommy knocks on the bathroom door and creaks open the door. He covers his eyes with his hand, respecting my privacy. It's funny, the fact that I used to flaunt my body to anyone, and for months I couldn't even show my husband my bruised and battered body.
"May I come in?" He asks.
"Yes!" I rest my head on the side of the tub and study my husband. He's topless, in a pair of simple trousers, it's bunched up at his calves, exposing his sexy legs. His hair is a mess, a favourite look of mine.
He enters the bathroom and peaks through his fingers to see me. Tommy smirks, shutting the bathroom door. "Why are you so cute?" He asks, his voice raspy.
"Why are you so handsome?" I ask, biting my bottom lip. I stick out my hand and curl my fingers. "Come here."
"Oh ya?" He asks, pulling off his pants.
"Mmmhmm." I grin.
