I'm allowed entry back into our home when Roger shows up to Ada's door.
"Mrs. Shelby," He says in that stern demeanour of his. He's always so formal with me, and I sometimes wonder if he thinks I'm just as cold as Thomas. Roger is an older man, I don't know much about him, and I wish I did but he's very reserved and scary. He's got these stunning blue eyes and pale white skin, he's getting bald, and I sometimes wonder if he gives a shit.
After three days of staying with Ada, I was finally allowed to go home. We both grieved the death of Ben Younger. We cried, laughed, cried again and ate until our tummies ached.Ada assured me that she was fine, but I didn't leave her home until Karl got back from his tournament. Ben's funeral was in two days, and I wanted to freshen up before then.
She swore she was going to keep Ben's last name Younger for her little girl. They've casually spoken about children, and Ben disclosed to her that a name he would have wanted for a girl was Henrietta, so, Henrietta Younger it'll be. And my, will she be a fierce, strong, capable young lady.
We slept in the same bed, as we were both lonely. God only knew where Thomas was. He hadn't reached out, nor contacted me since he left so suddenly on the night of Ben's unforeseen death.
Still, in the car with Roger, I asked where Thomas was. "Is he home, Roger?"
Roger looked at me through the mirror, "No Mrs. Shelby. He hasn't been home since."
The entire car ride home, I had expected to see the body mark of Maggie. Perhaps dried blood all over my beautiful wood floors. Instead, the home was squeaky clean. There were no traces of Maggie, just like that, she was erased from my life. I felt sick to my stomach walking in the foyer, I had imagined Maggie's lifeless body.
I bathed, scrubbing the past few days off of my body with warm water and soap. The place in which Thomas hurt me was beaming purple, I winced when I ran my hand over the mark. It was sore.
I made my way around the house, just to be sure that Thomas was actually gone.
I wondered about him, hoping he was okay somewhere. He's never physically harmed me before, so, for him to put his hands me on was absolutely petrifying. I saw a different man that day, staring back at me. He looked lost... Thomas looked like the man I had met so long ago at the side of Blokes.
Fragile and lost.
I contemplated phoning him. Just to be sure he was okay. I didn't know anything about his status, if he was alright, if he was hurting. All I knew, was the man that hurt me was blaming himself for the death of his colleague.
I fell asleep that night in our room but on his side of the bed, with nothing but an aching heart. Cradling myself and pushing my head into his pillow, I went to bed with a prayer that Thomas come back to me safe.
*
In the morning, I wake in a panic and realize that I'm actually home. Alone. Today was Ben's funeral.
I sit up and look around, knowing he isn't home. The house feels so much more empty without his presence. I slide my feet with a banana in hand and make my way into his study. I move to his desk and ring his London office, the same place we slept a few nights ago. There are two dial tones before finally he picks up.
"Tommy?" I rasp.
He clears his throat, "Jade, I'm busy. What is it?"
He sounds normal...
I open my mouth, willing myself to speak. I shut my eyes and inhale. "Busy?"
"Yes."
"Then I'll go..." I pull my phone from my ear but don't say another word.
