I find myself in the garden all morning and afternoon. I plant as many flowers as I could muster. Spring as sprung I wanted nothing more than to occupy myself knowing Tommy wasn't going to be around.
I decide I want to know if I'm pregnant. I want to know because I think I deserve it. Even if I'm petrified of being like my mum, or perhaps being abandoned like she was. I don't ducking know. But whatever the case is, I need to put my fears in the back and just let myself be happy.
And I'll keep the little baby safe. I won't let any aunties or uncles anywhere close to him or her, I'll keep my baby safe.
My eyes water as I push myself to stand, getting tired of just standing, I rub my belly. "I don't know if anyone is in there, but, if you are, I'm going to keep you safe."
Walking into the house, through the back kitchen door, I smell nothing but gun powder and stand still. My eyes fall on a body laying on the ground, Ellie.
Ellie's body was laid out flat, one hand resting on the ground as the other clutched the wound over her stomach. Her white shirt now stained with red.
"Ellie!" I scream, breaking into a sob.
Racing towards her, I fall to my knees seeing her lifeless body and her pale eyes staring into the abyss.
"Ellie, no," I cry, "Please, please wake up!"
I bring myself from hysteria and instantly think about Jacob. I bring myself to my feet and race into his room where the nurse Patricia is sat in her chair, she's got a gunshot to the head, her face drenched in floor. My eyes. Filled with tears, now fully blinds me once I see Jacob's state.
"Oh God, no..." I cover my mouth with my hands and feel a wave of nausea crush me.
Jacob's got blood pouring out from his neck. A clean knife slice, His white bedsheets covered in blood. I scream at the top of my lungs collapsing to the floor, I grab my heart that breaks in my chest and scream so loud I can taste blood pooling into my mouth from the cries. Trembling, I feel my world come crashing down in seconds.
I wrapped my arms around myself, my head feels as if it's going to explode. My heart stops, I swear I can feel it. Just as I'm about to run out of the house, scream for mercy and help. I can hear Tommy screaming at me, begging for me to run away, run far away.
But I felt a dark presence from behind me. Large and dark his breathing was heavy and just as I was about to turn, his large hands wrapped around my body and he slammed my head against the wall.
I tried to scream but his hand covered my mouth, my head was pounding now as as he pulled my hair away from my face I saw his disfigured features.
Oliver.
"Finally," he smirks, his eyes a clear and merciless green. Dropping the bloodied knife used to murder my brother, he squeezes his grip on me. "It's just you and I."
"Oliver..." I whisper, "Please."
"Your cries aren't going to help." He grins. "When I saw your husband leave, fuck, I was so happy. I thought, finally, I get you all to myself." He drags his fingers over my face, I shut my eyes, hoping this was a nightmare that I'll wake up from.
"Oliver"
He grabs me forcefully now, taking my face in his hands and yanks my head into his. Our foreheads collide and he has the perfect angle to bump my head harder than he'd ever feel. The contact of headbutting his new to me, but extremely painful. A rush of blood goes to my head I begin to feel overwhelming dizzy, my legs give out and I nearly drop to the floor if he didn't catch me. My ears buzz and I feel my eyes flutter shut, he grabs my arms forcing me to stand.
I let out a deep breath, one that comes out like a moan. "You're fine, you're okay." He tells me, my knees shake, "Up you get." He still has me by my arms, "You're fine."
I bat my eyes open and shut, the run spins. I fall into his chest and grab the side of my head. He pulls my hand back, I can feel Oliver's fingers drape over my forehead in a sweeping motion. I feel liquid come down my temple. My eyes shut again, and immediately, he scoops me up into his arms.
"Tommy-"
"Oh sweetheart..." Oliver tells me, "He can't help you."
"Tom-"
"Shhhh, shhhh." He lays me down and straddles me. "Open your eyes, look at me."
I do, forcing my eyes open.
"I'm going to be the last person you'll see alive. Isn't that a crazy thought?"
"Jade?" Tommy's voice makes me jump, I turn my head and look at him.
"Huh?" My head snaps his way.
The memory of the past sets my mind, and I can't seem to pull myself together.
"You okay?"
"Uh-huh."
He parks the car. "We're here." He reaches over for me. His hand rests on my thigh. "Hey, you sure you're okay?"
I look down at his hand and nod, "I'm sure, sorry. I've just been thinking about a lot of stuff."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." I smile small, moving my hand on top of his. I look into his eyes, wondering how couples can be so honest with each other. I guess that's what comes with vulnerability and love. You can tell your lover everything, lean on one another.
His thumb brushes over my bottom lip, "Do you want to just go back home?"
I swallow, feeling, for the first time in a long time, like I want to tell him everything. "No. Let's go."
He nods, "Okay."
So we do. We exit the car and on this gloomy Sunday morning, we walk towards Jacob's grave.
an - hey, i just wanna talk. are y'all into this story ? this is just me being insecure. and a lil curious too .
