"Hi love," He murmurs in my ear. His hand moves from my hips to my waist, to my stomach before he brings his chest to touch my back. Thomas engulfs me in a warm hug, I swoon. My arse to his... front. My cheeks heat.
"Hi." I grin. Has anyone ever told you you're the best hugger? I look at him through the mirror and rest my hand over his hands.
He kisses the side of my neck. He's decided to join me in the dining room, where I set up the table. It was dinner time, and I wore a dress and did my hair for our guest.
He kisses the back of my neck before mentioning the third plate at the table, "Oswald isn't coming over."
I watch him walk over and clear the utensils and plates, cup, for Oswald.
"Why not? I prepared a feast."
"I figured it should just be you and I tonight. I reschedule a meeting with Mr. Mosley at work, during work hours, why should that fascist get to ogle over my wife?"
I follow him into the kitchen, and open up the cabinet for him, Thomas puts the stuff away. We retreat back to the dining room, where we begin to eat. I really did prepare a feast, Caroline, the live in, taught me how to cook quite a lot.
"I want Maggie to come back." I tell him, "I know I was being mean before about it, but I really think you're right, she can benefit me a lot."
His face lights up. "Really?"
I laugh, "Yes, really."
"I'll get her in as soon as I can." He replies, chewing on his carrots. "This is a great dinner, love, thank you."
I smile, "Thanks."
Once dinner is consumed, and our bellies are ridiculously full, Thomas and I spend a little time by the fireplace listening to the music play off of his record player. We sit in one another's arms, on a big sofa that can cradle me to sleep. I remember that I had finished all of my laundry and remembered about the groceries, "Thomas, we've got to pick up groceries soon."
"Oh right, tomorrow, okay?"
I nod, "No rush."
"I think you left a list by the counter, remember?"
Right! I smile, "Thanks for reminding me, babes." I look up at him.
He kisses my forehead, "You're welcome, babes."
Our one year anniversary ended off with us sleeping before midnight, exhausted by the dinner we stuffed ourselves with.
The following day, Thomas and I left for the shops. I had the lovely job of reading out the things on the list, as Thomas picked up the goodies. It was delightful seeing him shop, he was this big bad man to other people, but to me, he was my husband.
Plus, the women, and men of London were progressive. They shopped together, families, went to the shops. Whereas, in Birmingham, I'm sure the women still shopped for the families.
Regardless, it was nice grocery shopping with Tommy. Life in London was less chaotic, more civil. We were civil.
"Got the oats," Thomas holds the bag and places it in our buggie. "What now?"
"Alright." I lift the list to my eyesight and see the word, pads. "Pads." I stop where I am and think about the word. Pads. I look at the note and see that I've circled the word three times, and the note was dated a week ago. Panic settles in and I gasp, "Fuck."
"What?" He looks down at me, "What is it?" Worry fills Tommy's face.
"I-I was due for my period weeks ago." I blink up at him.
Pregnant? So fast? I mean, what?!
"Oh my God." He freezes.
I look at him, "I know!"
"That's-that's amazing! Really!?" He tenses up.
"I don't know!" I throw my arms up.
The people around us wonder why we've stopped.
"Alright, let's get you to doctor then." He walks away from the buggie, and I laugh holding my belly. "Thomas no!" I shout, waving him to come back, "We do need these groceries, silly."
In the car ride, we were patient, but in the silence, you could feel the electricity between the two of us. The wind that we zipped through, screamed in support of us. Pregnancy? We welcomed the idea with open arms. He held my hand as he drove, kissing my knuckles and fingers, I got lost in the idea of a little one roaming around calling my husband daddy. And me, mama. Oh, my heart swells up.
He parks the car in front of our house, and I enter as Tommy puts the groceries away. I slump into the couch, my head hits the pillow that smells of my husband and I swoon. Pregnant? Holy shit.
Thomas retreats back in a moment and stands at the hallway.
"Jade?" He calls.
"In here!"
Once he and I are in the same room, Thomas falls on the couch and sighs. He pulls my bent legs and rests them on his knees. "Do you think you're pregnant?"
"Ahhhhhh." I look at him, "I really don't know."
"Do you want a baby? I mean, after everything." I notice the worry in his face, oh Thomas.
"Tom-"
"We never spoke about this before. Tell me. I want to know where your head's at..." His voice fades, but his eyes lock on mine.
"Oh course I do, baby." I reach for him and intertwine my fingers with his. "I'm scared, but I want to have a family with you."
"Baby." He says softly with a chuckle. "I'm imagining you carrying twins."
"Twins?" I squeak. Jacob! He isn't around for this. For any of it. My throat swells and tears prick my eyes, "Thomas!" I cover my face and he comes to my rescue.
"What is it?" He asks, pulling my hands from my face. "Why are you crying? The baby hasn't even come yet?" He tries to be funny, but I can't laugh right now.
"I'm feeling so many emotions, and-and-" I wrap my arms around him, fighting the urge to keep these tears at bay. Ah! I'm so sick of crying.
"Well let's find out if you're pregnant then, let's go now."
"I don't want to." I admit stupidly.
"Why?" He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, "What is it?"
"I'm scared." I whisper, embarrassed that he might judge me.
He kisses my forehead, sitting on the floor now. "And you don't think I am? I'm overjoyed, of course, but I'm absolutely petrified. The last time you were pregnant, you nearly died."
I hold my breath when his eyes meet mine.
I catch a tear from my eyes with my finger and sniffle. "I never thought about how you were effected that day..." I'm so sorry. You were hurting too. So much.
"It happened, it wasn't in our control." He stated, struggling to come to terms with it. "But you fought, and you lived and I want nothing more than for you to have my child but-" he chokes, shaking his head, "Fuck. Jade, I want you to be okay with it. Not scared. You're in good hands, and I won't let anything happen to you."
"I know." I bring myself to hold him tighter. "Can we wait?" I ask, running my hand over his back. "Give it till Friday, if I, by then, haven't gotten my period, we'll go to the doctor."
"Okay darling." He murmurs, combing his hand through my hair. "We'll wait."
I get lost in the idea of him sitting at the foot of my hospital bed. The times he was asleep, and I'd have to wake him up. The time's he'd get scared to leave me, just to pee. God, I imagine if anything happened to my Thomas. How irritable I'd be. Pacing back and forth in his room absolutely petrified. I wouldn't get any sleep, counting the seconds till he woke up, or ate, or recovered.
"I love you." I say, as a reflex to my thoughts.
Thomas pulls away and kisses my lips softly. "And I love you."
