"What do you want to have?" Maggie asks. "A boy or girl?"
We've spent the morning combing the street of London in search for an anniversary present for my Tommy. Maggie and I stopped by a restaurant for lunch in the city. A little French spot I found a few months ago with Tommy. The food and service was amazing, even Thomas agreed.
Maggie and I finished ordering our food, when she asked.
"I don't know." I tell her, biting my lip. "Healthy is all I want."
"Yes, but, everyone has an ideal gender. Even if they don't want to admit it. I wanted a boy and a girl, God gave me two boys." She chuckles, lifting her cup of tea.
"You have children, Maggie!" Two boys! "How old are they?"
"My first born is-was thirty-two, and then younger one just turned thirty." She smiles small at me, I frown, hearing her refer to her older son in the past. She plays with her fingers, lowering her head, "My son and I weren't close, but it's still tough to talk about."
"That's so unfortunate." I reach out and hold her hand, her deep green eyes touch mine. "I'm sorry to hear that, Maggie."
"Yes. Thank you so. It's only my boy Christopher and I left. Their father passed away when they were too young. Poor things lost a man they didn't even get to know. I still remember my babies asking about their dad, and I would have to say he's in heaven."
"You poor thing. Losing your husband, and then your son?" I shake my head. That is so unfair.
"Thank you." She looks at me. "I'm glad I am a therapist for that reason, it gives me a greater purpose and I get to see fine young people like you grow."
My mind drifts to the idea of Thomas dying when our child is young. Kind of like me not knowing who my dad was. I wish I knew who he was.
"What's on your mind?" She asks, drawing my eyes back to hers.
I tilt my head, studying Maggie. "I just—I get scared for Thomas. Scared something terrible might happen to him before our child is older." Or even born.
Our food is placed on the table, and we thank the waiter.
She brings herself in, Maggie grabs her fork and knife, setting her napkin on her lap. "A man like Thomas Shelby is heavily protected. I mean, you've seen his entourage."
I combat, "Yes, but a man like Thomas Shelby is also very proud. His security men don't have weapons on them."
It didn't look good for his campaign or his reputable status as a politician to have men following his every move. I remember asking him if they had guns on them, he said no because he didn't want to seem like some sort of celebrity. When people see me, I don't want them to think anything more of me than just a citizen.
"You stop worrying, Thomas will be fine." She tells me, and I almost want to challenge her and her positivity but I don't.
We eat, and Maggie tells me about having children. She tells me that they'll get sick a lot, their poops won't smell anything better as the years go by, and things will seem really hard. But I'll manage, and it'll be so lovely because you'll have a child in yours arms.
"And childbirth?"
"Well." She laughs, after wiping her mouth. "I can't place the words to describe how that goes...it's complicated."
"Please try!" I plead.
"Didn't your mother have this conversation with you?"
"No, my mother was an addict." I shake my head. Still chewing on my food, I continue, "She sometimes forgot I even existed."
"Oh." She whispered, Maggie picks up her fork again. "Well, it's the most unpleasantly beautiful feeling you can ever experience." She pops a bit of her food into her mouth.
She chews, and I take a sip of my water, hearing her say that makes me uncomfortable. "But when your child is in your arms, you just forget the pain. You forget it all."
"Wow." I watch her eat, "That does sound complicated."
She laughs, "Yes. It is."
Being back on the street with Maggie, I keep my mouth shut listening to her talk about her son. She explains to me how heartbroken she was hearing his his death, but that she excepted nothing but for him to die at a young age. I'm sure he was military man of some sort, it sounds like he passed in France. Serving his country and what not.
God, there were so many men who left and just... didn't come back.
"I just regret not being in his life. Some of the decisions he made, made it hard for me to be his mum. We disagreed on so much." She inhales sharply before shaking her head. "It's all too much."
I wrap my arm around her and, look her in the eyes. "You are an incredibly strong woman, you know that?"
She smiles at me as we move through the city.
"Jade!" A voice calls for me. "Jade!"
I turn around hearing a woman and see none other than Ada Shelby. She looks absolutely stunning, in her coat and dress. She's all too posh, and I always tell her how fantastic she looks.
"Ada! Hi." We embrace, and she kisses my cheek.
She's smiling so wide, "Thomas told me the news, congratulations!"
I flush, oh. Hearing the congratulations makes me break into a smile. "Thank you! It looks like we'll both be parents sometime in the new year."
"I know! I know." She looks around, "What are you doing here? Shopping for maternity already?"
"No," I mention Maggie, "My psychotherapist, Maggie, and I are just on a stroll."
I face Maggie who looks very reserved and nervous. I hope I'm not making her this way, I thought she was friendly, she seems like it. "Maggie, this is Ada, Tommy's sister!"
Ada looks at Maggie and says hello.
Maggie waves, and steps behind me. To see such an older woman be so shy makes me frown. My mum was always so flamboyant and excited. So, to see Maggie be so fickle, I can't help but feel dreary.
I turn to Ada, "We're just on the hunt for a gift for Thomas. It was our first year anniversary a day ago..."
She smiles at me. "I know, I was the one helping him pick out a gift for you and he chose the necklace you ended up receiving, did you love it? Wasn't it so stunning?"
I laugh, so he picked it out himself, "Oh, it was beautiful."
Maggie shies away, and for a moment I think to say goodbye to Ada when Maggie hugs me quickly. "I'll see you soon, Jade. I've got to go."
"Oh." I hug her briefly. "Okay. I'll see you..."
She walks away, and I look at Ada quizzically.
"She's strange." Ada concludes, looping her arm through mine. I ignore the comment, because though Maggie is strange, she's also incredibly sweet.
We walk further into the shops and she tells me about hearing her baby's heartbeat. Ada has just came from Birmingham, she had to take Gina to the hospital for the same reason.
"Michael's wife?"
She nods. "She's a sour thing to deal with it."
I laugh.
Ada hurries us into a shop, "Come, let's shop for Tommy."
"He's a man who has everything." I shake my head. "I have no idea what to get him."
What the hell do I get a man who has everything?
"Christ! A baby is all he needed, and look at this!" She rubs my belly, I giggle. "Come on, let's find you something sultry to wear, perhaps we can do what the women do in France!" She laughs, throwing her head back.
What the women do in France?!
an: if this gets 10 votes, i'll post the next 2 chapters :-)
