wonderland • wolfstar

bonus| this perfect boy

Julian Fisher was in a crisis. He had just turned nineteen, was in university and was labouring day and night to achieve the grades he needed to pass his exams and for the most part, he was succeeding.

Despite his controlling focus on his schoolwork, his social life actually wasn't the worst either. Both new and old connections were strengthening. He even found a friend in Remus Lupin, who out of all people he knew attended a university closest to his. His constant roll of sarcastic remarks were actually quite funny and always strangely fitting. He can see why Sirius picked him.

But no matter how well things under those categories were going, he was still in a crisis.

"Fuck, Sirius," he whispered one night in to his phone, the glare of his lamp on his desk hazing his sleep-deprived self.

"The fuck, Julian? You sound dead. Are you ill? Or drunk? Or are you genuinely dying?"

"Dying," he croaked. His head fell down on to his desk.

Sirius tutted frustratedly on the other end, but his heart sped nonetheless.

"Julian, where are you?"

"I - it's fine, actually. I'm in my dorm, mate's fucking his girl. What are you doing?"

Sirius could have screamed right then and there.

"I swear on Remus' dick - tell me what is going on now."

Julian sighed at the same time Anya Vivian  moaned helplessly. Damn those paper thin walls.

His mind hadn't stopped racing for days. It was a constant run with an aching heart and a sickening heat pooling in his stomach as his fingers froze over, but still, he was quick, quicker than he desired.

"You'll make fun of of me. I know you will, you don't need to lie to me."

"Bloody hell, don't - I won't!" Sirius insisted, but he became softer. "Julian, I won't."

Julian groaned almost inaudibly. Did Sirius really have to be so fucking reassuring? Wouldn't it be so much easier if he was a dick who gave the impression of two-sidedness? But no, Sirius Black was an angel dressed in the devil's attire.

"Fuck, there's someone."

"What?"

"There's someone. God, Sirius, there's someone. This perfect boy and he's just so... so perfect."

It took Sirius a moment or two to fully process the information, fully soak up everything in its spectacular greatness. He smiled. This was Julian Fisher, the lad who struggled to like in a romantic sense, who wasn't exactly sure he was cut out for love no matter how much he believed it. This was Julian Fisher, falling for someone for the first time at nineteen years old.

"Have you now?"

"Yes, and I didn't know - I didn't know it could be so bloody deep. I've only ever acted upon sexual attraction and I can't lie, it was good, but I thought it was normal to have such - such shallow feelings-"

"It's not," Sirius whispered. He dropped his pen down on to his notebook and carried his jaw in his hand instead.

"I know it's not. Now I know it's not. He's bloody brilliant and so cute, like how does one even possess such a radiant quality?"

"Damn, look at you, turning in to a poet right before my eyes. What's he like? Personality, looks, age, name. All the shit. All the info."

Julian took a deep breath an readied himself to spill it all. But what shocked him was the fact that he seemed unable to even speak. He knew the simple details his name, his age, his physical features, but he as a person? There was too much to say, so much that he was left bereft of any ability speak.