Night Sky (Harry Styles)

12. accidents

CHAPTER 12: ACCIDENTS

Monday, May, 29th 2017 - Redding, California

HARRY STYLES

With a loud and frustrated sigh I throw myself onto the bed and stare up at the ceiling, waiting for my girlfriend to enter the room. I close my eyes and try to rest a bit. Four hours of sleep isn't very much and I already know the following nights won't be very different. This is Stella's birthday week and she loves parties, so that is what we are going to do most of the time.

"Harry!" I hear Jess squealing after she opened the door. I sit up and realize that I still haven't put on a shirt.

Jessica walks around the corner. She doesn't look as good as she did yesterday. Her makeup is either gone or smeared and her hair is a mess. Dark circles have formed under her eyes, partly due to her being tired but also because of her smeared mascara. Jess gets out of her shoes and then runs over to me, sitting down on my lap and attacking me with kisses.

"Hey." I mumble against her lips which she desperately moves against mine.

"I've missed you," She says and gives me a small smile, "Why did you leave so early last night?"

"Estelle felt sick."

"No surprise there. Stella was so wasted last night." Jessica laughs and kisses me again. Do you even love Jess? Estelle's words repeat in my head over and over again. Do you even love Jess? Love Jess?

Jessica's lips move down to my neck and she places little kiss all over the sensitive skin. Her fingers run through my hair before she grips it loosely. My hands rests on her waist as I endure her attack of kisses. But when her fingers let go of my hand and open the button of my jeans, I stop her.

"Hey...sweetheart, don't, not now, yeah? We gotta leave soon."

Jess squints her eyes, "Sweetheart? Did you just call me sweetheart?"

"Yeah." I shrug.

"What are we—thirty? Don't call me that. I like when you call me baby." She whispers and pecks my lips one more time before she climbs off me.

"Sorry," I say and button my jeans again, "baby."

Calling her 'baby' feels weird now that I have used it for Estelle. What am I even doing? I'm fucking cheating on my girlfriend with her best friend. How fucked up is that? I use the petname I have given my girlfriend for her best friend. Sighing, I run my fingers through my hair and then put my head in my hands. But this is what I wanted, isn't it? I started this with Stella and worst of all is that I knew what I was doing. I knew what I was getting ourselves into. But being alone with Stella that night, I felt like it was my only chance. And first chance. Ever since I've met Stella that one night at the beach, she's been involved with Sam. He was always by her side and I never got a chance to have her pay attention to me. Quickly after meeting Stella, Jess started was glued to my hip and so we became a thing.

"Are you okay, Harry?" Jessica rushes over to me and takes my hand away to look at my face, "Are you not feeling well?"

"I'm great, thanks." I say and nod, playing with my bottom lip.

I should just break up with Jessica and never mention that I'm sleeping with her best friend. That wouldn't ease the already existing feeling of guilt but it certainly wouldn't add more. Jessica would be heartbroken. And I would be the biggest asshole in the world. Actually, scratch that. I am the biggest asshole in the world. Her knowing about it or not, doesn't change the fact that what we are doing is wrong. And I was the initiator of all of it. I dragged Stella into this mess because I suddenly couldn't resist anymore. Jess would be destroyed if I ever broke up with her. People always point out that Jess is a little too attached to me, a little too clingy.