Night Sky (Harry Styles)

33. tingly

CHAPTER 33: TINGLY

                            Wednesday, June 14th 2017 - Eugene, Oregon

                        "Hi, uhm, it's me, Harry. You've been ignoring me for a week now. Well, I don't know if you're purposely ignoring me but you're not taking any of my calls or reply to my texts. I'm just worried about you, you know? I know this whole thing with Jess and Sam upsets you. I just...I want you to know that if you wanna meet up, I'm available. I really don't have much to do anyway and yeah. I miss you? Can I say that? Probably not. I probably crept you out now. Sorry. But I do miss you. And your mom. Sorry but she's so cool. When I stayed for dinner, a week ago, she was just really cool. I'm getting off topic here. Anyway, I hope you'll call soon or at least give me some sort of a sign that you're still alive. Bye...I guess."

 That is the sixth message he has left me now in the last week. After Harry and I drove up to Jess' house and I tried to talk to her, I brought him back with me to my house and we spent the rest of the day together. He stayed for dinner and together with my mom we sat outside on the porch of our backyard and just talked about random things. It was a very funny and relaxed evening.

 But after I sent Harry home, I haven't seen him again. I kind of fell into a dark hole and I couldn't seem to find a way out. Losing Jess hurt me more than I would have expected. And since feeling this way, so negative and pessimistic, is rare to me, I didn't really have a clue how to handle this situation. I thought ignoring Harry would be a good idea but it just made me realize that I miss him, too.

 Harry left me a voice mail every night and I always listened to it before I went to bed, leaving me with a tingly feeling in my stomach. However, my sleep pattern became worse. My mom said it could come from the stress that I'm causing myself. She said I should let loose and then sleep would take over me effortlessly. Well, sleep never came effortlessly but I didn't exactly let loose either.

 A soft knock tears me out of my thoughts and I turn around to watch my mom peeking her through the door, "Hey honey, you okay?"

  "Yeah." I nod and give her a soft smile.

  "I wouldn't bother you if it weren't important but you know your dad's coming home today and we need a few more things. Could you please run to the store for me?"

 I shrug, "I guess."

  "Thank you so much. I leave a list with all the things we need and money on the kitchen table." Mom says and then disappears again.

 Lazily, I get up from the bed and put on a dark green dress. Because I feel so worn out, I just put on some sunglasses to cover my eyes. I'm really not in the mood to put on the black eyeliner I usually use to circle my eyes with.

 I jog downstairs, slip into black boots and grab the money and list from the kitchen table. I decide to walk to the stare and not use the car. I've barely been outside the last few days and a bit of fresh air won't hurt me. The walk to the grocery store was too long but luckily the air isn't completely dry that I had struggle to breathe or anything. It was even kind of chilly whenever the wind blew around, whipping me with the end of my pony tail.

 I have kind of the struggle to pick up all the things because I had to pile them up in my arms but still be able to take a look at the list. I should have taken a basket. Somehow, I manage to get everything, pay and pile the things up again so I can walk home. I really should have brought bags with me as well. Hindsight is easier than foresight.

   "Can I help you?" Someone asks behind me and I spin around, making the pile of items swaying back and forth until each of them drops to the floor, creating almost something like a circle around me.