Night Sky (Harry Styles)

31. revealing

CHAPTER 31: REVEALING

                            Tuesday, June 6th 2017 - Eugene, Oregon

HARRY STYLES

                     After I dropped off Beth and Estelle  at their home's, I drive a sleeping Jess to her house. The ride doesn't even take ten minutes from Beth's house even though I desperately wished it would have taken longer.

 Everything became so complicated in the past week and now I'm afraid to untangle this mess and reveal my biggest and probably worst secret to the person who has always taken me for exactly who I am.

 When I stop the car in front of her house, I look over at her small body, trying to curl up in the passenger seat so she can sleep comfortably. Her dark brown hair falls down in waves and covers half her face. Lost in thoughts, I stroke her hair out of her face to study her peacefully sleeping.

 I'm too scared to wake her already because I know everything is going to go downhill from there. The mere thought of seeing her cry makes me want to just drop her off here and drive back to my own home and hide from her forever. But I owe her this. She doesn't deserve to be fooled by me, or anyone.

  "Hey Jess, wake up," I gently say and shake her shoulder. Her eyes flutter open and her confused brown eyes are revealed to me, "You're home."

  "Oh." She mutters and sits up as a yawn escapes her mouth.

 I give her a soft smile before getting out of the car to open the trunk and take her suitcase for her. Still a bit sleepy, Jess gets out of the car herself and walks around it to walk the little path up to her house with me following her.

  "Mom? Dad?" She yells after she unlocked the door for us. I still struggle with dragging the heavy suitcase up the stairs and into the hallway of her house while I hear her mother greeting her.

  "Harry, let me hug you!" Jess' mother says and wraps her arms around me. I return the hug, "Your dad isn't home yet, honey, but he should be soon." She says to Jess.

  "Oh, that's okay," Jess answers and walks into the kitchen as I follow her, "Do you wanna have something to drink or eat, Harry?"

  "What me? Uhm, no. Can we just...can we go upstairs please?" I ask her and she seems to hear the urgency in my voice because a deep frown appears on her face.

  "Sure." She replies and grabs an apple on our way upstairs.

 Jess steps first into her room and I close the door behind us. I look down at my hands and catch me fiddling with my fingers. I remember Stella telling me that I always do this when I'm nervous. Quickly, I stop and shove my hands into the pockets of my jeans.

  "What's wrong, Harry?" Jess asks concerned as a sympathetic smile is on her lips.

  "Look, something happened. A mistake, yeah. A pretty bad one and I want to say I'm terribly sorry, really terribly sorry. I was...I couldn't control it. It just happened." I start and dare to look up in hope to see some sort of expression on Jess' face but she blankly stares at me.

  "Did you take drugs?" She asks and I frown. How can this be the first thing that comes to her mind when I tell her I made a mistake and that I couldn't control it?

  "What? No! Why do you-"

  "When you were gone, with Estelle. I know she can be really persuasive and stuff. I thought she might have talked you into it," Jess explains, "But if it isn't that, what did you do then?"

 For a few more seconds I'm still struck by how Jess would rather think that I took drugs behind her back, then that I would cheat on her.

  "I...Jess, I'm so so sorry," I say and kneel down so I'm on the same eye level as her. I don't want to tower over her when I tell her this, "I slept with...with Estelle."