StoryTeller - PerthSaint Collections

BACK IN YOUR ARMS 2

Back In Your Arms

Chapter 2

I squinted, not liking my current condition. It was already four in the afternoon and yet the sun still shines so bright and the heat was fucking unbearable. We were on this remote island a few hours away from Bangkok filming the last few scenes of the Netflix series I am so proud to be part of. We were supposed to be going home. I was supposed to be on a boat already, traveling back to the capital city, my home. However there had been a few delays on the filming and so we were stuck here waiting for the rest of the crews to finish their business.

Looking ahead, I could only watch the sun slowly setting on the horizon. Silently hoping that this loneliness inside me would diminish once I get to the city. I hate beaches, I hate sunrise and sunsets. I hate rain and thunderstorms. I hate the feelings I get whenever I see them. They scream loneliness. They make you think and feel things that makes your heart aches.

I do hope everyone feels the way that I do. Because it'll be fucking unfair if I am the sole person feeling this way. Or maybe I am just a bitter human. A guy who doesn't deserved to be loved by the one I chose to love?

I rolled my eyes, silently chastising myself for even thinking and feeling this way. It had been two months since I swear off love. Swear off being a fool. Swear off my feelings for him. And yet here am I, a miserable lonely twat with nothing else to do but gloat.

"Perth! We're going" my manager beckoned me to come. Finally pushing myself up from where I was sitting. Grabbing my phone from my pocket I sent a quick message to Mark.

-Be there at ten. Club Mirage – Perth

I grinned.

An angry Mark had always been a constant feat. His sulking though is something I could barely tolerate. Disappointing him makes him brood more than a PMSing lady then he overstress like a pregnant woman about to give birth. Gun who is the only person who can make him come around is unfortunately in Korea for a month long vacation leaving us with no other choice but to placate him with things like this- this time with me being ok to go to a club with him even though I said no the first time.

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I took a full swig of the concoction on my hand, courtesy of course of my best friend who I seemed to make his whole day extra by agreeing for a night out with him. I am honestly new to this. A newbie to being out in a club and drinking to my heart's content. You see, I just turned legal. Not only was I able to get my license to drive myself around, it seemed I am as well granted freedom. Freedom to do what I want to do and liberty to choose what kind of life I would like to live.

"Aren't you allowed to wear sunblock bro?" Mark span on his bar stool to face me. His hair swayed as he grinned at me, eyes glinting behind the curtain of his hair.

"What? I rather like my tan thank you very much" I grinned at him now finally seeing that I had gone a bit darker than I used to be.

"Yeah Yeah... full blooded Thai are we?" Mark grinned as he casually leaned back on the bar and watched the people in the club. "I'm glad I'm done with the shoot first. I could barely see straight from all the heat from that beach Perth"

"Today was the last though. I'm glad it's done" I drank from my own glass and followed suit. "So I haven't heard from the boys. Are they coming?"

"Gun is due back from Korea next week. Title's had this recording planned out tonight. Plann said he'll come around midnight. Mean was complaining about his back so he had to check on him at Chachoengsao today"

"Ummm..." I nodded and looked away. There's no way I would ask him about someone that would just irritate him. Unfortunately this friend of mine could see right through me and so even though I clearly have no intention of even asking nor mentioning someone's name in his presence Mark addressed me like an old man tired of putting wisdom into some younger man's head.

"If you are going to ask me about Saint. He's in the hospital"

I stiffened on my seat not wanting for Mark to think that after all the things he thought Saint had done to me I would still be this desperate for him. I know I said I am done being a doormat. Done with all his hang ups and bullshits.

But Saint... he's Saint. My Saint. One can never blame me for caring too much.

Unfortunately these thoughts running in my head Mark could read. And so he shook his head at me like he was once again disappointed.

I took a deep breath. There's no use trying to keep things from him.

"What hospital is he in to?"

"Perth...."

"Where?"

"I have no idea Bro" He answered with his usual annoying huff when I took out my phone and tried to think of who to ask.

"Are you seriously going to him again?" Mark questioned as I tried to ignore him.

"No... I.... I'll send flowers... or food...." I sobered a bit not fully knowing what exactly I wanted to do. I have cut our communications merely two months ago. Cancelling his calls. Never reading his messages just because I was too afraid that in his single text or upon hearing his voice I would come running back to him.

I did what most sane people would do. Ignore him and pray that I'll be able to move on.

"Call P'Pupae. He might still be in contact with Mae"

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I almost bawled over the fact that the man I love is lying weakly on a hospital bed as pale as a paper sheet and looking thinner than the last time that I saw him. I made sure that he was asleep when I came to see him. Had asked Mae to allow me time without P'Chen there.

I don't hate the man. I honestly think he just wants the best for Saint. However, his unnecessary personal decisions were the reasons for most of mine and Saint's conflicts.

"I'll go get some coffee son" Mae Nuk smiled and patted my head while she made her way towards the door. Picking up her cardigan on her way out. I smiled gratefully at her. Before my eyes darted back to Saint's sleeping form.

I sat at the side of the bed near enough for me to be able to touch his face. Fingers trialing his smooth forehead. I allowed myself some time as I run my fingers through the bridge of his nose, listening to the fading snore that he makes. I do miss him. Enough for me to have the courage to come here and see him. But am I strong enough to face him? Talk to him? And perhaps once again feel all those feelings I want so badly to forget?

My thumb stroked those pale lips. Wondering if ever it tasted the same? His phone blinked with a message and Zee's name appeared on the screen.

I sighed heavily as jealousy and anger pierced through me. Jealousy over the man who has Saint's heart and anger towards everyone else who made us this way.

Without me knowing I started to shake. As tears started to form against my eyes. Remembering the times we were still working together. Those memories? They used to brighten my day. My source of strength whenever I miss him. However those were the same memories that now made my heart breaks.

I leaned down and ever so lightly brush my lips against his very lips. Silently praying that god heals him. Wishing that whatever life Saint chooses to live, that he'll be happy. Even this life and choices doesn't include me.

I smiled as I stood. Finally feeling sorry for myself again.

I planted the rose I brought for him right beside his right leg. And walked away.

"Are you going already?" Mae Nuk asked surprise as she looked at me still crying and Saint still in bed asleep.

I nodded weakly with a smile "Thank you for everything Mae. Please don't tell him I came by" I kissed her cheek and walked away from them.

Mind finally accepting...But heart still breaking.

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Tbc – ahhh last chapter next.
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