Seventeen is the age that decides who every young soul is destined to be with forever. Dating back to Neanderthals, humans have always felt this natural pull to the other half of their soul. Made to make sure that the human population is reproducing...
this is a chapter that i think is perfect because it's imperfect.
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Going to school is hard. I think that our fascination with school is that that's what a teenager's life is for the most part...learning how to become an adult and how to use our traits to become the best version of ourselves. I don't feel like the best version of myself right now. I associate school with the idea of normality, and right now that isn't the case.
When Keefe picks me up in the morning, I get into his car and put in earbuds. I would feel bad but I'm too numb to care.
That's a lie. I feel so much at the moment that I don't know where to begin. I don't need to admit that to myself and be a decent human being today, though.
We pull into school ten minutes before school starts. When he stops the car I feel the silent question hanging in the air between us, but I don't care to address it. I can tell that he's at least picked up on my mood. I get out of the car hastily, before he can say anything.
He stops me. "Sophie."
I turn to look back it him, waiting for what he's going to say. His eyes search mine, catching every detail on my face as his fingers tousle his hair. Whatever he's going to say, he decides not to in the end.
"Have a good day, Sophie."
Sophie.
My lips press together hard. I nod and see myself out.
Forcing myself through school is my only priority. I just need to get through the day so I can cry myself to sleep tonight.
I'm a lot more broken then I want to be.
I stand in the busy hallway as students come and go, slumped against the lockers as I watch the chaos dissolve. Only a few students remain when I find the willpower to stand up and head to where I need to be right now.
I'm the teacher's pet. The good girl. I feel the need to please teachers, the need to get everyone else's approval. Today, I don't even have my own.
I walk until I'm stepping into the library, ducking behind a bookshelf the moment I get the chance to. I'm out of sight, happily. I don't want to see anyone, nor do I want to be seen. I tuck myself in the farthest back corner away from where people sit at their tables.
My phone vibrates with a text. I fish it out of my pocket to look. It's a text from Maya. My gut twists as I realize she's the only one besides my parents who's bothered acknowledging this day.
Sending love from Michigan. Ily, b. You'll get through this. Remember that it's not your fault. They're still with you. They'll always be with you. I wish I could be with you right now. I'll have to settle for spiritually tho. Ilysm.
My throat clogs on its own. All of a sudden I'm sinking down to the floor, landing softly and burying my face in my hands. My heart feels heavy.
This day is their day. This day is the day that took them away from me. This is the day that I breathed while they died. This is the day where it was all lost.
Another text buzzes through and my phone screen lights up again. Why aren't you in class? Is everything okay? It's Keefe. He's probably gotten word from his friends.
I leave him on read.
I pull down the Notification Center and choose to stare at the message Maya's sent me. A new message vibrates at the top of my screen.
I'm coming.
I stare it as it disappears. Why bother? I hold my phone to my chest tightly, wrapping my fingers around it. I press harder than I need to.
Only a minute goes by when I hear footsteps. Keefe finds me, dropping his backpack down beside me and slipping his phone into his backpack. He sits next to me, facing me.
