The Magicians

Chapter 60- Nightmares Aren't Real

Once we got back, I showered and went straight to bed. I couldn't stand the people asking me if I was okay. I couldn't stand the little kids asking me what happened. I couldn't stand the stares. I couldn't do it.

But then, I couldn't sleep. And when I did, the nightmares filled in the blackness.

*****

"You will never win, child. Never." Echoed through the pitch black landscape. The voice came from everywhere and nowhere.

I think it was Castor's.

I ran through nothing, whipping around when something touched my shoulder. Nothing was there. Awful laugher rang through the landscape, coming from no one.

I ran until my legs felt like rubber and I couldn't breath. I cried out as a sharp pain went through my chest. I touched it with my hand, and it came back red and sticky.

I fell to the ground, not able to move, consumed in the blackness.

*****

I woke with a yell, gasping for air and covered in cold sweat. I checked the time. 6:00 in the morning. I groaned and put my head in my hands. When would the nightmares stop?

I felt my eyes burn. I didn't even try stop the tears coming to them. I let them fall, crying until I couldn't breath and my face was soaked with tears.

I brought my pillow close to me, crying into it, getting out all the emotion I'd kept in the last couple days. I took a few deep breaths, trying to compose myself, but I couldn't stop the tears.

I cried, not sure what else to do. Then, the anger came, hot and real. I punched the pillow, not able to control myself. I stood, determined to stop all the emotions flooding into me. I shook out my hands, and took a few deep breaths.

I calmed down, sitting back on the bed. I got up and went into my small kitchen, pouring a glass of water for myself. "It's not real. Not real." I chided myself.

I ran my hand through my hair and let it fall. I didn't know what I was scared of, and I wasn't sure that was even it.

Maybe I was just a little scared. I was scared I would have to fight again tomorrow. I was scared I would loose my magic. I was scared I was going to die. I was scared someone I loved was going die.

But then again, nightmares aren't real. We all get scared.