*(Is this all we see?)*

~*Chapter 42*~

**WARNING: Short mentions of sexual assault**

The air was uncomfortable as Midnight walked his way back home. It was at least 3 degrees and he could feel the liquid on his eyes turn cold, the tip of his nose burning nipped by the temperature. He would have called Nick; but he still wasn't sure about him.

He still wasn't sure how he felt about him.

Was he supposed to be sure?

Midnight walked through the door to the living room, plopping himself in the couch next to his sister. His head leaned back to rest on the headboard. "Hey." Dawn said.

"Hey."

"What's up?"

"I dunno." Midnight shrugged.

"A lot on your mind?"

Midnight nodded. "Yeah." He almost wanted to be snarky and reply with something like "you have no idea." Or "no kidding." But his mouth couldn't release the words. He felt like he had none.

"Is it about Nick?"

"Kind of." He sighed loudly. "But not all of it."

"Can I ask you something?" Dawn broke the silence with her question. Her green eyes flashing at his briefly. In though, he shifted his lips to one side. What would she ask? Was it about his cutting? Magic?

"Go ahead."

She took the huge breath now. Her nervousness of the question was clear. "I'm not trying to joke with you okay? I know I've been joking about it a lot and I'm sorry for that."

"Okay? Can you tell me?"

"Okay. I wanted to ask, because--you know you and Nick are friends now so I--I thought I'd ask."

"Out with it." He snapped as he folded his arms against his chest.

"Do you like him?" She finally blurted it out. He assumed it would be that after she said she said it before. Though he knew, the question made everything make him turn shaky. His heartbeat started to skyrocket, his face felt hot, his stomach felt weak. Midnight tried to straighten his breath. 'How can I lie? She's probably reading what I'm thinking right now.'

He sharply inhaled. "I—I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" She questioned him confusingly. "You know when you like somebody Midnight. It's a thing you know."

He sat up. "No you don't. I don't know if I even—he's the only one who has been nice to me. Throughout my entire time being in the human school he had been the only one who—" He gulped. "Only one who I've ever liked..liked as a person..and I was devastated when he stopped talking to me because.." Midnight didn't want to say it. He didn't want to make everything worse when everything had gotten better. He didn't want to ruin his own life with this one little insignificant thing. Nick was there. His heart burned at the kept secret. He closed his eyes. "I'm starting to feel something for him."

"So you do like him?"

"I don't know." He said suddenly. "I don't fucking know and I don't know if I can know. He has a fucking girlfriend and I have these feelings.." Midnights heart started to pound. Violent and fast beats, almost fast enough for his heart to jump out. He pulled his straightened hair at the roots with his tightly gripped fingers. "I'm afraid I will ruin our friendship if I just go 'Nick I feel different about you than everyone else and I am wondering if I like you or not.' He sighed. "I don't even know if I like him."

"So do you think this will just go away?"

"I hope so." Midnight swallowed. "I'm hoping this is just temporary."