He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not (Reddie)

13

Richie's POV

I stretched out on a smooth, sun baked rock. We had taken a break from our mindless splashing around in the Quarry and were now all lounging around.

We were all glancing at Beverly every so often. I felt more obligated to do so, but also enjoyed the natural beauty of the sun lighting Bev's hair on fire. In a not so creepy way.

"You know," Stan said suddenly, "I heard something interesting from my dad this morning."

Bev scoffed and sat up, she wasn't a fan of gossip. Rumors had hurt her in the past.

"Go on," Bill prompted after Stan said nothing.

Stan smiled nervously, a usual look, "Apparently there's a gay kid in our grade."

My heart dropped.

I thought I had been careful, I thought I had been smart, I thought I had hidden my identity enough that no one knew.

I had even wiped away the nail polish from my nails before that night was over.

"Jesus," Ben commented, "imagine being gay in this town..."

"Imagine being gay in general," Bev joked and the losers laughed.

I wanted to throw up. But that wouldn't help anyone.

"W-well technically 1 in every 3 people are gay," I tried desperately to say something that wouldn't give away me being gay.

Bill laughed, "th-that can't be true."

"So technically at least two of us are gay," Bev suggested smirking.

Fuck.

I just made things worse.

Everyone was now examining each other suspiciously.

"My money is on Stan!" I blurted.

Stan instantly turned red. "What? Me? How?"

Fuck

"B-because you were the only one of us boys not checking out Bev a few minutes prior," I offered. The words were falling into my mouth before I could process them. I felt stupid an cheap.

Why couldn't I be proud of myself? Of who I was? I felt like a disgrace to gays around the world who lived proudly.

"Yeah!" Eddie agreed, I wanted to gape at him, "plus Stan is so quiet and kind of a wuss."

Things had gotten so much worse.

"What?!" Stan exclaimed, "ok first of all, I'm sorry I didn't want to sexualize my friend!" he pointed to Bev, "and second, I am not a wuss and being gay doesn't automatically make you a wuss!"

I wanted to give Stan a high five.

I looked over to Eddie and he was smiling slightly to himself.

Bev was smiling too. All of a sudden I felt guilty for staring at her earlier. I hadn't meant any harm but I knew that Bev was often subject to objectification and I didn't want to make her uncomfortable just because I was struggling with my identity. I felt like I had to make up for it with something.

"Well if Stan was gay," I suggested, "I would still be his friend."

"Obviously," Eddie said and punched my arm lightly.

"I'm not though!" Stan protested.

I shrugged, "just saying." Then for some reason I slung an arm around Eddie - who was sitting on the same rock as me. "would you still be friends with me Eds?" I asked lowly so that none of the other losers heard.

I smiled when Eddie turned pink and squirmed. I dropped my arm, not wanting to make him uncomfortable.

Eddie looked at me, something flashing in his eyes. Then he nodded, slowly but surely.

"Thanks," I cracked a smile.

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Okay, I also forgot that Reddie is not just one of those arguing cute ships but is also a cute cute cute ship. Like Richie and Eddie are also soft with each other.

So some fluff for you I guess.