He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not (Reddie)

20

3rd Person POV

Stan sat on the edge of his bed, reading his old bird book. He had quickly left Bill's house after the incident and crawled back into bed.

He felt sickly and small, and he hated feeling like that.

Okay, so he wasn't really reading the book, or even just staring at the magnificent pictures of each creature -- he was thinking about Bill.

He had really thought that Bill was....well he didn't know what he thought Bill was exactly. He just knew that he didn't think that Bill was someone who would kiss one of his friends just to prove something to Stan.

Bottom line, Stan knew Bill was scared. He knew from the increased amount of stuttering Bill would speak with around Stan. Bill had even started to distance himself from Eddie ever since this gay conspiracy had started.

And Bill and Eddie were really close, he knew how much Eddie looked up to Bill.

And Stan knew when and how Bill started to act this way.

Stan knew when it all started, knew what it all got fucked up...

---(Backwards in time)---

Stan was walking home, his bike having been left at home because his dad had grounded him for skipping mass. It's not like Stan meant to, he had just lost track of time.

All of a sudden, Stan nearly fell over onto his butt as someone rode by him fast enough to beat the devil. He knew right away that it was Bill.

"Fuck!" he cried out while regaining his balance.

Bill was laughing to himself, "beep beep!" he just shouted gleefully and biked a lap around Stan.

Stan huffed and just quit walking, he was tired from the school day. It was springtime but his teachers thought it appropriate to cram tests and assignments and projects in his life. So Bill stopped biking and dismounted.

"What's up S-St-Stan?"

Stan shrugged, "tired I guess."

An idea crept up into Bill's mind, not one that was so peculiar as Bill was the best at cheering up his friends.

So Bill took his friend's hands in his own, "W-W-Well I know how to w-w-wake you up," he smiled. Then he started to wiggle his arms and dance around while Stan moved with him since his whole body was relaxed. Bill was ever the energetic one, full of light despite the darkness tainting his life.

Stan soon found himself smiling and gazing at his friend with awe as he made silly faces and continued to jump around wildly.

"Thanks Bill," he said as Bill started to calm down and was now just holding Stan's hands.

Silence passed between the boys before Bill squeezed Stan's hands lightly then let them go.

Stan thought whatever moment that had transpired between them had passed, but Bill didn't let it go. Instead Bill leaned forward and pressed a sweet and soft kiss at the temple of Stan's head. It was weird for both of them, as nothing but friendship like feelings had been felt between them before this, but both of them like these new feelings.

And they didn't think there was anything wrong with these feelings, with the hand holding from time to time, or the sweet cheek and forehead kisses, or even the times they had talked for hours for hours -- just the two of them -- making each other laugh and giggle endlessly.

They weren't dating, the two didn't understand their feelings enough for that.

And they felt peace with each other, everything was perfectly fine, until Bill realized something. He realized that what he and Stan were doing was something very disappointing for his parents and also placed so many targets on his back. Because what he and Stan were doing was very gay -- even if they had both agreed to forget the time at the party where he and Stan had kissed very briefly.

Stan missed hanging out with Bill like that, and he knew that Bill missed it too. Even if Bill was too fucking scared to admit it.

-----

Yo

so the more I read of the book the more I realize that I am not at all portraying the characters accurately. I give you guys so much credit for sticking with my inaccurate portrayals.

I can't do much about this book even though I'm sure you have picked up on the bipolarness of some of the characters.

But maybe in my next book they will be accurate.

I also can't believe that in my last book I made Stan to be the more 'dominate' one. The fuck was I thinking???

Sorry for the rant, I'm probably going to not sleep until three again tonight so maybe another chapter? No probs not.