Merlin Oneshots

Looking Back

I hope you guys like this one! I don't know how it'll turn out. Will be sad. Just a warning. Happy reading!

Merlin's POV

I had a whole day off today! I was going to the lake to see Freya. When I got to the lake, I sat down in silence for a little bit.

"Hey, Freya. It's been too long. The prat wouldn't let me off last year. Sorry about that. I guess he can't go a day without me. He only let me go today because Gaius said that if he didn't, he would keep me in my room for an entire week." I thought back to the conversation. 

"Sire, if you don't give him today off, then I will keep him in his chambers for an entire week. I won't even let you in to see him." The tone of his voice left no room for augment. 

...

"So, if I give him today off, then he comes back tomorrow?"

"Yes. That is what I'm saying."

"Deal"

...

"Yep. That's how I got today off. Gaius had to threaten the king into letting me have one day off. He never lets me off. Not even that time when I was really sick. He made me work extra that day I think. He thought I was faking." I went silent. I had to think back to that week. 

...

I was super sick. I had to help the lower town get over a virus. Gaius couldn't come, his foot was acting up again. So, I had to go down and stay there for a couple of days. When I was there, I must have caught the virus, I had all the symptoms. There was a possibility that I could spread the virus to the whole kingdom.

"Merlin. Stop being a girl and get to work. Faking sick isn't a good thing to do. If I don't see you in my chambers in five minutes with my breakfast, I will have you in the stalks for three days."

I was really sick. I wasn't faking. I would never think of faking, but he thougt that I would. "Arthur, I promise you that I am really sick. I would not lie to you about something so small. I would only lie to protect you. Please, let me stay in bed for two days. This virus has killed people, Arthur. If one of the kitchen maids gets it, then the whole castle gets it. And Gaius and I don't want to deal with that. Please, let me stay in for just two days." I had to resort to begging. But it was useless. He would not let me stay in bed for an extra hour, why would he let me stay in for two days?

"Merlin, I refuse to believe that you are really sick. You are to be in my chambers with my breakfast in five minutes. Don't be late."

I had managed to find a spell to keep the virus to myself. It was one of the hardest spells to keep up with me being sick and all.

...

"Then, there was that one time after my mother had died. He didn't let me have the day off then either. He thought he was making me 'stronger'. That's what he said. 'I'm making you strong, Merlin. Nobody gets off work because of something like that in the real  world. Wake up and join reality.' That's what he said. I remember. He gave me extra chores on that day too. I had to feed and bathe his dogs. I was miserable. He gave me the afternoon off after Gwen made him. She was furious with him.

"Then, there was one time when he was giving me a 'pep talk' it was just after my father had died. He said, 'No man is worth your tears.' He didn't know that the man was my father, but it still hurt. He could've tried to understand that a man just died in my arms.\

"He hits me a lot too. He's not trying to hurt me, he thinks it's kind. He thinks that I don't dread the next moment when I see his hand lifting up. He really doesn't get it. I have to try so hard not to flinch when I see his arm raising. There's just too many bad memories. I tried to put it behind me, but it doesn't work. Every time he goes to 'pat' me on the back, it takes everything in me not to move away from it too much.  He doesn't get it.

"Like that on time when I had fallen over a root on a hunting trip. He offered me his hand and after I was back on my feet, he hit me on the back. 'You got to stay up, Merlin. You have to stay strong and stay up.' That hit bruised my back. Not a good day for me.

"He 'jokes' too. He talks about how if I didn't have this job, I would be 'homeless on the streets.' and how I would probably be dead. He says that he's the only reason that I still have a home. He says things like how he's the only one that could ever tolerate me. He keeps telling all these horrible things. Like how nobody could ever love me and how I'll always die alone. And it hurts me. Becasue it's true. Nobody could ever love me except for you, and I will die alone. He doesn't understand how much his words hurt.

"He's always talking in a derogatory tone. He brings up things from a long time ago that aren't even important in the situation. He makes me feel inferior to him. He makes me prove myself to him. And he never talks about his feelings. Or, he dumps all of them on me and expects me to figure it out for him. If he's ever wrong, then he doesn't apoligize for it. He makes a big deal about little things. Like that one time when one of his prize deer got away. I sneezed because I was sick  and he said how several of the families in the kingdom were going to go hungry now. He doesn't even keep the meet from the deer. So he was lying. He compares himself to his knights or the servants that have been trained their whole lives. He talks about things that he knows are sensitive topics and he always brings up how skinny I am. He knows that those words bother me. He knows that I hate those words. And he even knows why I'm so skinny. He knows that in Ealdor the winters were harsh and that meals were often missed. 

"Freya, what do I do? I need your help."

I had somehow started crying in my big speech. There was a ripple in the lake that reminded me of her. It was so gentle. Suddenly, she was right next to me on the shore. She had a new dress on, it was still red, but it was more simple. None of the fancy frills that had been on Morgana's dress that I had given her. 

"Merlin. You seem to be in a seriously abusive realtionship. You need to leave. Please. I don't want you to have to cast a spell to keep the castle safe. You need out. If you don't leave, then I will make you. Do you understand? You need to get out of that. Please. For me. Ok?' She spoke with such desperation in her voice. She was very worried about me. 

"How can I get out of this? I have the whole 'destiny' to deal with. What do I do?"

"I have an idea."

...

So, I faked my death. I still watched Arthur and helped him out any time I could. I just wasn't around him. He cried for a little bit, maybe a week. But, he got over it.

1308 words

I hope you like it! Be sure to tell me what you think. Also, if you were wondering, one of the reasons that I make them so sad is because I write so late at night, so you will either get sad or nonsense. Have a lovely day and stay happy!

Published 1-16-20