Green Day One Shots (Mostly Millie) {FINISHED}

Some kind of disaster // Billie Joe

imma see where this takes me

Dear the one, you know who you are

I am not the right kind of person. I lie about small things, like if I slept or ate. I am a cynic, twisting things for my way. I am a complete sinner, I am gay for fucks sake. I am trying to be a saint, but that isn't quite working out. I am a loser for various, various, VARIOUS reasons. I am a critic, I mean, when was the last time I spent a whole day- scratch that- an hour not criticizing people? All of my past mistakes always haunt me.

I don't know what perspective of me is good to you. I'm literally some kind of disaster. And it's my fault I'm like this. So why do you still want me?

Is it the fact you know I'm trying? Is it the fact you find people who are like me interesting? Is it the fact you are almost like me?

I want to tell you a million times. I am not the best person. And it's my fault I'm like this.

If you want the truth the lies I told you the past few days, here they are:

I haven't eaten in 3-ish days. I had one cracker last night. I just don't have the appetite to eat. I haven't had a full meal since I last saw you.

I haven't slept well in almost a week. And I just haven't sleep for the past 2 days. My mind, it gets so loud. I can't sleep alone, I just can't.

I haven't really felt happy. Even though I got something I've wanted, I just didn't feel happy. But I haven't been feeling sad either. Just...nothing.

I wasn't actually busy all day today. I just didn't want to talk to people. Or really do anything.

I haven't been on all of my pills. Yes, I take the important one, the one we never discuss. But there's a few I skip out on. I know I shouldn't, but I feel bad for being on all these pills.

I don't understand how you just...don't notice. I feel like all my lies are obvious. Have I really lied that much?

Well, I know this is getting long, but I also want you to know;

I would never lie to you about how much I love you.

I love you to the world's end. And no, I don't mean that in the platonical way. You are the best thing to me. Periodt. You've always been here for me. Thank you. Thank you so much for staying even though I'm this mess.

Billie.