Kitten

Chapter 34: Fear

Isabella

"Isabella Richardson".

I smiled at my familiar doctor as she called out my name in the busy waiting room. Shakily pushing myself up off my chair I walked towards the friendly face of my doctor who greeted me quietly with a handshake.

She escorted me to her room and welcomed me in. Her room always smelt so comforting and she was one of the women I trusted with my life.

Doctor Marie sat herself down by her desk and stared at me with concern.

"Isabella. I have been your doctor for many many years and I have never seen you attend an appointment without James. What's going on?".

Staring down at my trembling hands, I took a deep breath desperately trying to reign in the tears that threatened to pour out. I had to be strong. I had to be strong for my family. Truthfully, I wanted to tell James about my fears and concerns but I just couldn't. He had been through enough and had too much on his mind. I didn't want to stress him out anymore.

"I, I have found a lump".

Marie's eyes softened and turned to face her computer.

"Where abouts is it? And when did you first discover it?".

"It's on my breast. I found out maybe 1 week ago".

I stared around at the room desperately trying to distract myself from the worst possible thoughts swarming round my mind like poison.

The man who I turned to for comfort was not with me by my side. How could I seek comfort when he was the only one that could give it to me. But I didn't want to be selfish.

"Isabella, does James know? Does he know you're here?".

Marie understood how hard it was for me with James not being here with me. She'd supported us through our miscarriage and many scares in our life.

"No, he doesn't. He's recently recovered from a hit and run. The doctor warned James that he needs to stay calm and relaxed. Any stress could worsen his heart especially after suffering a cardiac arrest. This will only stress him out and I can't let that happen. You know what he's like Marie, he'd be worse than me and I'm the one with a lump".

Marie's eyes softened before reaching out towards me and resting her hand on my shoulder.

"I understand Isabella, truly I do and it's admirable that you're looking out for James, but this is a serious matter and he'll be devastated if you keep this from him. I'll do all the tests, but please keep him informed".

Marie turned back to her desk and typed away on her computer as she asked me more questions about my general health and other symptoms I had been experiencing.

"Okay Isabella, please remove your top and bra".

Slowly slipping off my top I let the material fall on the floor and removed my bra so a full examination could be taken.

My eyes flew up to the ceiling as I felt Marie's cold hand press against my soft skin.

Marie asked me continuous questions as she felt around for any abnormalities on both breasts. In a strange way I felt better answering her questions. It took my mind off the possibilities of what she may find. Marie suddenly stopped around the same area I had felt the lump and I grimaced as she pressed her fingers in and around the tender area.

"Okay Isabella, you may slip your clothes back on".

Quickly putting my bra back on my cold body, I threw my loose top back on and nervously waited for the result of Marie's physical examination.