Skinny Love (Jesse Pinkman)

Chapter 24

Trigger warning: discussions about miscarriages

I felt my skin pull tight over my knuckles as we drove in silence. I saw Jesse from the corner of my eye glancing at me every now and then, sometimes opening his mouth to speak and then closing it hesitantly.

Good choice. I thought.

"Mila- we... we should talk about us. Talk about what happened." Jesse mumbled.

"I got shot because you owed people money. I lost our baby. What else is there to talk about Jess." I snapped coldly.

"I'm sorry-"

"Sorry don't pay the bills Pinkeye." I winced and threw down the flappy thingy to block the blazing sun from my eyes.

"Why are you always so mean to me?" I felt a pit of sadness well in my stomach at his tone.

"Because I can't look at you without thinking of him Jess. Our son. Our little boy. It fucking kills me that's why. That every time I look at your goddamn face all I can think about is the life we could have had." I ran my tongue over my lips shakily.

"But you know, Mr White had that too and look how life fucked him up the ass. Cancer. Life sucks. We're born, we're disappointed and then we die. That's it."

"He didn't even have a name." Jesse looked down at his palms, voice cracking and eyes welling up as I looked at him in surprise.

"My son. My baby-" he whimpered, tears streaming down his face as he angrily wiped at his face, "It was all my fault."

"No it wasn't." I shook my head, "I told you to take the last deal so we could afford a stroller. If I hadn't have suggested that you'd have been out of the game." I clenched my jaw.

"I shouldn't have-"

"But I told you to. I remember." I had no tears left to cry over that night. I was pretty sure I'd blocked half of it from my memory.

"The doctors said he didn't feel a thing. Just fell asleep." I added, trying my best to soften the situation as I reached over and rubbed his knee.

"I think of him every day." Jesse grabbed my hand. I didn't let go.

"I do too Jess." I smiled weakly.

"I miss us. I miss you Mila I do. I'm sorry it didn't turn out right the first time... but I'm... god I feel like such a dork, but I'm still in l-"

"Jesse." I froze, glaring into the rearview mirror.

"What-"

"Do you know that car?" I gestured behind us, "DON'T make it obvious dipshit! Be subtle about it!" I hissed as he continued to crane his neck to see.

"No... why?"

"They're following me. I don't know why. Someone stopped at the drive thru the other day at work. They threatened me."

"They threatened you? Jesus Christ Mila what did they say? What did they want?" Jesse panicked, now practically in the back seat.

"They knew my name they were at the funeral. They told me to watch my back." I pressed my foot down slowly on the ignition, before taking a sharp right turn, sending Jesse across the back seat with a scream and thump.

"CALM DOWN MAD MAX YOU TRYNA GET US KILLED HUH?" He cried before grunted and holding his rear end, "I think I broke my ass on impact..."

"Hold on-" I announced, before taking a second turn, that was met with much braking and beeping from pretty much every other car in the vicinity.

"MILAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" Jesse wailed, thrown to the other end as I snorted.

"Okay I'm sorry for that one but I highly doubt you broke your ass Jesse you've got so much to break your fall." I looked behind to see him, startled and panting.

"What?"

"It's gotta be fat where else do you sure your bullshit because it sure ain't your peanut head."

A/N:

I started thinking this chapter was way too sad so I tried to make it a little funny towards the end. Hope you guys are still with me and enjoying :)

~ Cat.