Winter In My Heart (Jikook/Kookmin)

28

Jimin was startled when he felt someone slip into bed beside him and wrap their arms around him. His eyes fluttered open, and he saw Jungkook’s face just inches away, watching him intently.

"W-what are you doing here? You should be with your fiancée," Jimin muttered, pushing Jungkook away gently before sitting up and leaning against the headboard. Ever since Yumi, his mom, and dad had arrived, he had avoided speaking to Jungkook. He was angry—and hurt.

"Mochi..." Jungkook began softly.

"You should’ve told me, Kookie hyung." Jimin’s fingers played absentmindedly with the fluffy blanket, his eyes fixed anywhere but on Jungkook.

"I-I..."

"You... you almost kissed me..." Jimin’s voice wavered, and he felt his eyes burn with unshed tears. He knew he loved his hyung, but he wasn’t sure how deep that love ran—or how much it hurt.

"I'm sorry," Jungkook whispered. He was just as confused, tangled up in emotions he couldn’t fully explain. Yes, he had a fiancée. But he hadn’t wanted to tell Jimin about Yumi. Not yet. He loved spending time with Jimin, cherished every moment they shared. He knew he loved his brother, but like Jimin, he didn’t know how far those feelings went.

"You always say that," Jimin said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I don’t know what’s happening to me," Jungkook confessed.

"Do you... do you enjoy playing with my heart?" Jimin’s voice cracked, and Jungkook flinched at the pain in his brother’s words. He hadn’t thought of it that way. He wasn’t playing with Jimin’s heart. At least, he hadn’t meant to.

"No, Mochi, I’m not," Jungkook said, his voice desperate.

"Yes, you are," Jimin shot back, the hurt in his voice rising to the surface. "You have a fiancée, and you never told me. We've been here for almost a week. We've talked about so many things, but never once did you mention her. And then you... you almost kissed me. What was that about?"

Guilt weighed heavily on Jungkook's chest. He had no explanation for his actions. He was ashamed, but when he was with Jimin, everything felt right—too right.

"I-I love you," Jungkook whispered, his voice trembling. "I know I love you."

Jimin let out a bitter laugh, the sound hollow. His brother had just confessed that he loved him, yet he had a fiancée. How could those two things coexist?

"Can you leave me now?" Jimin said, his voice flat and tired. "I'm exhausted. I'm tired of crying. I don't need this anymore."

Jimin lay back down, pulling the fluffy blanket over his head, shutting Jungkook out both physically and emotionally.

Jungkook’s heart ached. "I’m sorry, Mochi. Hyung loves you," he whispered, leaning down to press a kiss on Jimin’s head, even though the blanket covered him entirely.

With a heavy heart, Jungkook rose from the bed and left Jimin's room, his movements slow, burdened by guilt and confusion.

As the door clicked shut behind Jungkook, Jimin lay still beneath the blanket, his face buried in the soft fabric. He clenched his eyes shut, trying to stop the tears that were already spilling over. His chest ached, a deep, gnawing pain that he couldn’t quite understand.

Why does it hurt so much?

They were brothers—separated for years, yes, but brothers all the same. When they had finally reunited, Jimin had expected joy, relief, and maybe even a bit of awkwardness after so much time apart. But this... this was something else entirely.

From the moment Jungkook had stepped back into his life, Jimin had felt something shift inside him. It was like his heart had been awakened to feelings he couldn’t name, feelings that confused and scared him. He had always admired his older brother, always missed him, but now that they were together again, the bond between them felt... different. Stronger. Intense in a way he hadn’t anticipated.

And then came the moment when Jungkook had almost kissed him. Jimin had felt his breath hitch, his heart race in his chest, and for just a fleeting second, he had wanted it to happen. That terrified him. How could he have wanted that from his own brother? How could he have felt something so wrong?

But worse, how could he explain the agony he felt when he learned Jungkook was engaged? The news had struck him like a blow, leaving him breathless and aching. Why does it hurt so much? Jimin had asked himself that question a hundred times since Yumi had introduced herself, but no answer had come.

It wasn't just the shock of finding out Jungkook had kept something so important from him—it was the way his heart clenched at the thought of Jungkook loving someone else. Loving Yumi. The jealousy, the sadness, the emptiness... none of it made sense to him. They were brothers, after all. But why, then, did the thought of Jungkook marrying someone else make him feel as if his whole world was falling apart?

Jimin pulled the blanket tighter around himself, trying to shield his heart from the confusion swirling inside him. He wanted to scream, to cry, to shake off the emotions that gripped him so fiercely. But no matter how hard he tried, the feelings remained. The ache remained.

I love him, Jimin thought. But how?

He didn’t know how to explain it, and maybe he wasn’t ready to. All he knew was that the pain of Jungkook’s secret engagement wasn’t something a brother should feel. It was something deeper, something more complicated, and Jimin wasn’t sure how to face it.

So, he did what he always did when things got too hard to bear—he buried his face in the pillow, wiped away his tears, and willed himself to sleep. Maybe in the morning, the world would make a little more sense. But deep down, Jimin feared it wouldn’t.