(The story starts with the kids watching television on a TV that looks very dated. The show they are watching is called DuckTective. It features a duck detective standing next to a telephone booth that has limbs of an unseen dead person sticking out)
Constable: I'm afraid your services won't be required here, sir. My men have examined the evidence, and this is obviously an accident.
Max: His limbs are sticking out, you dumbass son of a bitch! This is fucking murder!!
DuckTective: An accident, constable? Or is it... Murder?!
Constable: What?!
Max: NO SHIT!!!!
TV Announcer: DuckTective will be back after these commercials.
Mabel: That duck is a genius!
Dipper: Eh. It's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground.
Mabel: Are you saying you could outwit DuckTective?
Dipper: Mabel, I have very keen powers of observation. For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you've been eating.... An entire tube of toothpaste?
Mabel: It was so sparkly....
Soos: (Runs in) Hey, dudes. Guess what I found in the Quartermaster's office?
Max: Probably a dead body.
Nerris: A symbol of the dark arts!
Mabel: Buried treasure!
Soos: So, Gwen told me to clean the Quartermaster's office. Then I found this secret door, hidden behind the wallpaper of some Satan stuff. It's crazy bonkers, dudes!
(Soos leads them to a room filled with several wax figures)
Dipper: Whoa! It's like a secret wax museum!
Neil: It's like they're watching me....
Dolph: Oooh! Vhis zis one of Shakespeare, Sherlock Homes, and vhe all so infamous Adolf Hitler!
Mabel: Adolf Hitler looks so lifelike!
Nikki: They all do!
Dipper: Except for that one.
(Dipper points his flashlight at Stan)
Stanley: Hey, kids!
(Everyone screams)
Stanley: It's just me, Great Uncle Stan!
(Everyone screams even louder and run away)
Stanley: My god, do I need a shower that bad? Anyway, welcome to the Gravity Falls Wax Museum! This was a camp activity that we did back in the 1990's and then I just forgot about it. I got em all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Homes, and... (stares at a wax figure of Larry King) some kind of, I don't know, goblin?
Max: It looks less like a museum and more like a basement from a horror movie.
Dipper: You're telling me.
Stanley: And now for my personal favorite: Wax Abraham Lincoln!
(He shows of a puddle of melted wax on the floor, which is under sunlight from the window above it)
Stanley: Fucking c'mon! Who left the blinds open?! Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking at your direction! (Sighs) How do you fix a wax figure?
Neil: Maybe by reusing the wax to make a new wax figure?
Stanley: I guess.... But it'll take an artist to pull of that feat.
Dolph: (chimes in) Do not worry, Stan! I zam zan master zin art! I shall make a new wax figure with all zis wax!
YOU ARE READING
Gravity Falls In This Camp
Fanfiction(WARNING: This story will not be for the faint of heart. Cussing and mature content will be in this story) The Pines twins, Dipper and Mabel, are forced to spend their summer with their great uncle Stan in his beatdown summer camp simply called "Cam...
