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 December 3rd, 1985 Day 45

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December 3rd, 1985
Day 45

Tomorrow morning I'll be able to set foot outside, past the gates. Just in time for Christmas; just in time for me to change almost everything about my life.

Unfortunately, not many people here can say the same thing. Ezekiel just smiles warily at me when I tell him I'm going to miss him and that I'll still visit him if the office will let me. I know he wants to get out too. But Ezekiel also told me that it's not his time yet; he was once a broken person with needles in his arms. And let me tell you, Ezekiel's resilience and strength played a huge part on influencing me to take rehab seriously.

Earlier on the phone all I could hear is Dustin screaming about how excited he was for tomorrow. Then apparently Robin took the phone from my brother and started crying to me about how proud she was of me; I tried not to sob because I knew Steve was up next. When Steve was on the line he swore up and down he'd be here for me first thing in the morning. At the end I told him to get a good nights sleep but he replied that would not be possible.

Just before my final group session with these wonderful people Danny catches up to me, almost panting. "Hey Diana!"

"Hi Danny," It only took me forty-five days but now I can finally greet this guy without an annoyed tone.

"So I heard you'll be gone by tomorrow morning."

"News spreads fast around here then," I reply without glancing towards him.

"I am sure going to miss you," that makes one of us, "and I was thinking...perhaps once I can leave maybe we can go out sometime."

All I can do I smile; why lash out on my last day when I can enjoy it? "Very flattering Danny but no. I can't move on from my past lover just yet because I'm not ready. Plus I'll be long gone by the time you are discharged."

"Wow thanks," he rolls his eyes at my last comment.

"You know I'm only joking," I smirk, "you're not my favorite but even I know you have the strength for this, just give it time."

"You're not so bitchy when you're being sincere you know," he laughs.

Before I realize it we're already about to sit down next to each other for the todays session. I can only smile while looking around the room full of the people who have cried on each other's shoulders.

I hate and love this place for making me so soft.

"Happy holidays, Danny."


December 4th, 1985

I haven't heard from her in what felt like months.

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