Lost & Found [✔️]

XLIV

Grayson's POV.

It has been a few days since two unknown men knocked on the door and told us Delilah had died in a fire. Ever since that moment I haven't slept and kept looking for her. I checked the security camera's and watched her every move. It was all the same. One minute she was fighting along with us and the next she was gone. Through the rain of bullets and arrows she just disappeared. Pause... Play... Pause... Play... That has been my life the passed few days, just looking at the screen and watch her go. Her fighting skills were still amazing me, no matter how much I watched the footage. Her dark brown hair was shining bright in the fires and I felt a certain type of feeling owerwhelming me as I watched her. She was still beautiful, even when she was covered in blood or dirt. 

''Still looking for a lead?'' I heard someone say as they entered the room. I got pulled out of my thoughts and immediately turned around. Ethan came in and I nodded at him. As far as I knew Ethan hadn't slept much either. He had the same dark circles around his eyes and he definitely had lost some weight. Ethan grabbed a chair and sat down beside me. ''You know she is not coming back, right?'' Ethan asked and I immediately looked away from him. Every time he would ask me that, I felt a certain pain in my heart. Like someone ripped my veins out of my heart and stabbed me a dozen times. 

''She can't be gone, Ethan. She just can't be...'' I said and my voice was cracking. I felt my eyes filling with tears and my sight got a little blurry. I looked down to the keyboard in front of me and decided I watched enough footage for today. 

''It has almost been two weeks, Grayson. If she survived, she would have returned.'' Ethan said and I forced myself to look up to him. How could he say that after all the times Delilah never gave up on us? Even after we chose the fame above her, she still came back to us. 

''What if she is lost somewhere? What if she is captured and abused?'' I said and thought of every single scene of what could have happened to Delilah. There were thousands of reasons why she hasn't returned yet and no one is looking for her, except for me. Even Kyle gave up on her, everyone gave up on her.

''Grayson,'' Ethan said but I didn't listen to him. Instead, I grabbed my notebook and wrote down what I thought. I wrote down what I knew and what I expected. ''Grayson!'' Ethan yelled at me and threw my notebook to the other end of the room. In my shocked state, I looked up to him with open mouth. I didn't know what to say as I saw the anger growing in his eyes. ''Delilah is dead and we saw her ashes! She died in a fire and there was no more saving for her! Delilah-is-dead!'' Ethan yelled and hissed the last words through his teeth. I squeezed my eyes shut as he yelled at me. His words were like daggers in my heart, every word got deeper and deeper until I couldn't think straight anymore. I was trying to fight the urge to yell back at him but his words were too painful to me.

''Don't you think I know!'' I yelled at him as I stood up so fast, the chair almost flew away. ''Don't you think I know she must have died horribly! How she must have thought of us while we weren't even there when she died! She was all I had and all I need, Ethan! Now she's gone I can't even sleep anymore! I lose weight more then I lose my will of accepting the fact she's gone! She-was-the-love-of-my-life!'' I said to him. By the time I was finished I was out of breath. My lungs were hurting because they were in lack of oxygen. My whole body was hurting ever since I experienced insomnia and laxk of hunger. Delilah gave me the will to live and now she's gone, I can't believe she's gone. The day I accept she's dead is the day I die myself, I can't go through such a heartache again. The only time I felt like this was when we moved away from her to Los Angeles. I promised myself to protect her, to keep her alive but I failed. It was my fault she was gone and I couldn't take it back. She was dead because of me and I didn't feel like I deserved to be alive myself. If I could, I would have switched roles with her, I would have sacrificed myself so she could live. 

''Take some rest, you need it.'' Ethan said as he stood up and patched me on the shoulder. I slowly nodded at him but deep down I knew nothing would change today. I would still be unable to sleep or eat. As Ethan left the room, I grabbed my notebook and started writing again. It has become normal to me to write like I was writing to Delilah, like I was sending her a letter and she would write back. Once I had finished I put the notebook away and grabbed my phone. Delilah was my background and I kept staring at it for a couple of minutes. Her smile made me feel butterflies in my stomach and I couldn't help but smile myself either. Her eyes were shining and it was obvious she had a fun time when this picture was made. She can't be gone... I refuse to believe that...