NANNY FOR MENDES.

Twelve

We watched Netflix all day long. At around 5 PM, I started cooking dinner. I made something simple, easy and quick. Spaghetti Bolognese.

At 6:00 PM, I made two plates and took them to the living room. It's fun to eat while watching TV.

Shawn thanked me and I nodded.

"Let's watch Harry Potter."

"You like Harry Potter?"

"You don't? Oh no Shawn. Don't tell me you don't like Har—"

"Like it? I love it!"

"Great. Which one? You name it."

"Deathly Hallows. One and two."

"It's settled then."

We watched Deathly Hallows-part 1. And between Part 1 and Part 2, I went to the kitchen to make some popcorn. I gave Shawn a bowl and sat down next to him.

I feel sleepy. I yawn. And then, I set my head on Shawn's shoulder. I removed my head almost instantly, not realizing what I was doing.

"It's okay. Keep it." And then he put his hand on the side of my head and lay it on his shoulder.

𝘐 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘰𝘴𝘴.

By the end of Deathly Hallows part 2, it was 11 PM.
I need to leave.
I got up to get my purse from the kitchen and leave, when Shawn grabbed my forearm.

"Stay the night with me."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I just can't, Shawn. My mother is waiting for me. And you're my boss. I agreed to spend the day with you. But I can't sleep here. No way."

"Okay. Go."

"Shawn, I'm sorry. But—"

"It's okay, Sophia. Just go."

Here we go again. He's calling me Sophia, not Soph. And he's back at being bitter again.

I go to the kitchen, take my purse and get back to the living room.

"Bye, Sha—"

I stopped. He's wiping off his cheeks.

"Bye, Sophia."

I just stand there.

"Go!"

"No, Shawn. There's no way in hell I'm leaving you like that."

I walk over to him and sit down next to him on the couch.

I brush my hand over his arm.

"What's wrong, Shawn?"

"I just miss my son. It's weird not having him. And I know what she's doing. She's trying to make him love staying with her. I think she wants to make him live with her. Which is strange, considering she left him with me."

"She's awful. Oh my God."

He just glared at me like I offended him.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't've said that. She's Raul's mother."

"It's fine." He nodded. "Okay, then. I'll walk you to the door."

He walks me to the door. And as I was about to open it, he hugged me, tightly. No. He was squeezing me. I can feel his sadness. And I can feel a wet spot on my shoulder. He's crying.

"I'm staying."

"No. No. You were right. Go, Soph. It's okay."

"The hell it is. You're crying, Mendes. I can't just leave you. I hate it when people cry."

"Thank you so much."

"Don't even mention it."

We walk to the living room again.

"I can't sleep here though, Shawn. I'll stay until you fall asleep, okay?"

"Fair enough. Do you want a drink?"

"Sure."

He walks to the kitchen to grab some drinks.

It's been 5 minutes since he went to get the drinks.

I went to the kitchen, to find Shawn crying.
Ugh God!
I just hug him, and he squeezes me. I have to tiptoe to hug him. He's tall. Much taller than me.

"Does this happen often?" I ask him.

"Almost every night. That's why I go to work. To keep my mind off of things."

"I'm sorry, Shawn. I really am."

I pull back.

"Just let me call Mom to tell her I'll be late."

He nodded and walked outside.

"Hey Mom."

"Hey Soph. Where are you? It 11:30 PM."

"I'll be late Mom."

"You're already late! How much later than this are you going to come back?!"

"I don't know Mom."

"I'm worried about you. It's almost the midnight."

"Don't worry. I'm old enough to stay out late, Mom. I gotta go."

I hang up. She's worried, I get it. But Shawn really needs me.

I walk back to the living room.

"Hey." I tell him, smiling at him.

He looks up at me with eyes full of tears.

I walk over to him, sit down next to him and hug him. I'm brushing over his back, soothing him.

"I feel like shit."

"It's okay to feel like shit sometimes, Shawn."

"But I've been feeling like shit for a year now."

"It doesn't matter however long it takes. You'll get over it. I'll help you through it. I promise."

"Thank you so much. I don't fucking deserve you."

I slapped his back.

"Don't say that."

"I'm stating facts here."

"Shut up, Shawn."

"Yes, ma'am."

I laugh.
**************
It 12:30 AM. Shawn is sleeping with his body laying on the couch, his head in my lap. I get up, removing his head off my lap, gently, so I wouldn't wake him up. It's been a long night. He needs to sleep. If he wakes up, he'll go through hell again. The moments of sleep are when we forget. Good for him.

I leave and go back home.

Mom told me off. She yelled at me. I apologized and went straight to my room. I can't tell her I stayed this late at Shawn's for 𝘚𝘩𝘢𝘸𝘯. And not for 𝘙𝘢𝘶𝘭.

I go to sleep, thinking about everything Shawn told me in the last two days.