NANNY FOR MENDES.

Twenty-nine

𝗦𝗢𝗣𝗛𝗜𝗔'𝗦 𝗣𝗢𝗩

Fuck. Me. Fuck. Me. Fuck. Me. Fuck. Me.
We almost kissed. That moment in the kitchen was so very fucking intense. The way he looked at me was so intense. I felt... hot. Horny, even.
Fuck me. Ugh.

As we're watching Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone, he keeps looking at me. He thinks I don't notice, but I do. How can I not, when 𝘐 keep looking at him too? When I look at him, he turns his towards the screen quickly, smiling.

His smile is very cute. Let me say that again. His smile is cute 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 cute, actually.

𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝘂𝗹𝗹𝘀𝗵𝗶𝘁 𝗦𝗼𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗮! 𝗜𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗮 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁.

But I couldn't stop thinking this though: does he like me back?

I mean, he pinned me to his chest and was leaning in to kiss me. Right? Or am I imagining things? No. I didn't imagine it. It was so real.

I feel so uncomfortable right now. I want to go to sleep without even feeling sleepy. I just want to disappear.

It's only a matter of time before he realizes it was mistake. Why would he want to date 𝘮𝘦 ? Why me? When he can choose any girl he wants, why me?
Why me when he can have a much prettier girl?

The boys eat their Brownies while watching the movie. But I don't even touch mine, despite the fact that I absolutely love Brownies.

"You didn't touch your Brownie." Noah says, cutting me off my thoughts.

"You could take it if you want it."

"No. I don't want it. The tray is right in front of me. If I wanted more, I would just take from the tray."

"I'm not really hungry."

"Neither am I. But this is Brownies!" He says dramatically.

I shrug.

"You okay?" He asks me.

"Sure." I say, not even convincing myself.

Bear's head falls on my lap and his legs on his father's. He's obviously sleepy. That's my chance.

"Bear, let's go to sleep." I say, pulling him into my arms, holding him while I stand up. I put a hand on the back of his head and another on his back. His arms are wrapped around my neck and his legs around my waist. His head is on my shoulder.

"Goodnight you guys. See you in the morning."

"Goodnight." They say in unison.

I go to Raul's room, put him gently on his bed and lay next to him on the bed. He's sleeping in my arms, like a mother with her child. It feels good, honestly.
I love the hell out of this boy.

I should text Mom goodnight.

My phone! Now I have to go get it from the living room.

I get out of bed to the living room. As soon as they feel my footsteps, they turn around.

"Everything alright?" Shawn asks.