NANNY FOR MENDES.

Forty-three

𝗦𝗛𝗔𝗪𝗡'𝗦 𝗣𝗢𝗩

I left my apartement a long time ago. Hours ago. I don't know what time it is and I don't care to know. I don't want to go home at all right now. I'm not angry anymore. I'm just upset, hurt. I came here, my favorite place, to calm down. Lake Ontario is just beautiful. And I love it here.

I sigh, loudly. I'm really frustrated. I love her. But she hurt me. Love? What did I just..... love her? Fuck it, I love her. I fell in love with her. I love her.

I facepalm myself. I'm really frustrated. Really upset, really hurt. Rejection is bad, but when you get rejected from someone you love and they have feelings for you too, that really hurts. It's a whole different level of hurt.

I have to leave. I won't stay here forever.

I go to my car, open the driver's-side door and get inside. I check my phone. It's 1:15 AM. I have 56 missed calls from Sophia and 20 from Noah. I don't bother calling them back. I don't want to be found, that's why I came here in the first place. Sophia knows about this place, but I don't think she knows I'm here right now. And even if she does, she won't leave Raul alone. And Noah doesn't know about this place. No one knows about this place but her. Her. Fuck! I'm in love. Fuck it! She doesn't even wants to be with me! But I fucking love her! Now I'm starting to get angry again. I have to stop thinking about her.

My phone rings. Noah. I'm not answering. He called me many times. This means he knows I disappeared. But how?.... she must've called him. As if she cares about me! She fucking doesn't! The last time I disappeared like this was when I discovered Christina was cheating on me. This just hurts as much. But in a different way.

Noah calls me again. I answer this time.

"Where the fuck are you?! I've been looking for you for over an hour! I'm fucking worried! She is worried about you!"

"Oh really? She is worried?" I say, sarcastically.

"She called me to find you. She called my crying hysterically. She is worried fucking sick about you, Shawn. Whatever the fuck happened, I don't care. Get back there. Meet me at your building. Now."

"No. I don't want to go back there. Not right now."

"You're just gonna leave her alone there? Leave your son alone there? Suck it up, Shawn! Go face your problems instead of running from them. Talk to her instead of just leaving her like that. Go solve your shit."

"Fuck it! I'm coming!"

************************************************
Eventually, I arrive at my building. Noah gets out of his car as soon as he sees me.

"You look terrible."

"Thanks." I get out of my car.

"Have you been....crying?"

"No."

"Yes."

"Nooo!"

"Chill! Let's go to your apartement.

We get inside the elevator and he presses the button of my floor. We get on my floor. I step out of the elevator and Noah walks past me, opens the door.

I sigh. As soon as I step in, I see her.

"Shawn!" Sophia yells.
In a second, her arms are around my neck. She jumped into my arms, stumbling me backwards.
I'm taken off-guard.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" She asks, anxious. Is she really worried about me?

"I'm okay, Sophia." I answer her, harshly.

"Oh, Shawn. I was worried sick." She hugs my waist and rests her head on my chest.

I really want to hug her back, and I almost give up. But no, I'm really pissed.

She pulls back, cupping my face. "Hug me back."
And then she takes my arms, wraps them around her back and hers around my waist. Oh my God. I can't not hug her. I need to hug her. No matter how pissed I am, I always need her hug. It's safe and warm in her arms. So I give up. I hug her so tightly. I missed her already. She removes her arms from around my waist, and puts them around my neck, tiptoeing. I rest my head between her arm and neck, sighing loudly. I'm taking her beautiful sweet scent in.

Noah clears his throat. I forgot he's here.

"I'm gonna go now. I'll be here in the morning. Goodnight you guys." Noah says.

She pulls back and hugs him. I'm not jealous. I know she likes me and I also know he's just her friend. And for Noah, she's just a friend. I know that. But still, I don't like it. But I don't say anything. Maybe...I'm a little jealous? Yes. I'm fucking jealous.

"Thank you so much, Noah. I owe you."

"No you don't." They pull apart. "Bye."

"Thanks, man." I tell him and he nods. If anything, I owe him.

"Don't you fucking do this again. You got me worried."

And he leaves.

The moment he's out the door, I head for my bedroom.

"Shawn, wait. Please, wait."

I stop, but don't turn around to face her. She comes in front of me. "Wait, please." She cups my face.
"Just hear me out. Okay? Please. Just give me a chance to explain." Her hands slide down my jawline, neck and stop on my chest as she speaks. I don't think she realizes she's doing this. Not that I'm complaining. Not at all. I love it when she touches me.

I nod and take her hand, directing us to my room.

"Thank you." She says.

I just nod.