NANNY FOR MENDES.

Forty-two

Shawn hates me right now. Well, maybe it's an overstatement. He doesn't hate me, at all. But you know what I mean. I don't know what to do. But I totally need to say sorry. I'm such an ass. Ugh!
I feel really guilty for hurting him. He was hurt before, and now I'm hurting him. I don't know we'll tolerate each other tomorrow in the car ride to Pickering.

Which reminds me.... I need to call Mom.

"Soph? Hey, baby."

"Hey, Mom. Look, I need to tell you something. And please don't yell at me."

"Go ahead."

"So.... Raul wants to go to Pickering with him tomorrow."

"Pickering?"

"Shawn's parents."

"Oh. So Raul wants you to go with him?"

"Yes. Raul invited me."

"Oh. Why?"

"His grandparents want to see me. He mentioned me to them."

"Mmm. And you want to go?"

"I mean... yeah. If you give me the permission to."

"You're an adult, Soph. You can do what you want."

"I'm living under your roof, Mother. So yes, I'm taking your permission."

"That's my girl."

"Thank you so much, Mom."

"Of course. No problem. If you want to spend some time with the guy you like, I won't say no."

"Bye, Mom." I say, rolling my eyes.

"Bye, Soph." She laughs.

Okay, now that I have the permission, I should tell Shawn. Or maybe not now. I'll try my luck.

I step out of his room and into the living room.

"Shawn?"

He is sitting on the couch, with his head in his hands. I stand right in front of him.

"Don't talk to me right now, Sophia. I'm really angry right now. I don't want to say something I'll regret later. So just leave me the hell alone now."

"I'm sorry."

He inhales, too loudly.

"Sorry?" He asks, looking at me, standing up.

"Yeah."

"Really? Well... A word doesn't change anything . Actions do." He quotes me.

"Oh. So now you're using my own words against me? Very clever, Mendes."

"Sophia. Please go. I'm even angrier now. So just go. I don't want to hurt you."

"Say what you want to say."

"What?"

"Say whatever you want to say. Release all your anger on me. I deserve it, anyway."

"Sophia. Stop. You're really gonna make me hurt you."

"I want to hear it."

"Sophia.... Go. For the love of God, go."

"Spit it Mendes!"

"You fucking led me on!"

A pause for a few seconds.

"Go on. Come on. Give me all you have to say."

"You never stopped kissing me. Like fucking ever! And when I hold your hand in the mall, you don't fucking stop me! You just said that you like me so much! Yet you don't do anything about those FUCKING FEELINGS!" He screams the last few words and I jump.