NANNY FOR MENDES.

Thirty-one

It's 6:00 PM. I left Shawn's apartment 45 minutes ago. I didn't stop thinking about him and Christina, together, in his bedroom since I left. I need to talk to someone, certainly not Mom. I can't even go home right now; I can't face her. I'm currently a few buildings away from Shawn's building. I wandered aimlessly after leaving his apartment.

I'll call Noah.

"Hey Soph!"

"Hey. Are you busy?"

"Nope. But... are you okay? You sound sad."

That's when I start crying. "No, I'm not."

"Woah. Where are you?"

"I don't know. I'm a few buildings away from Shawn's. The building's number is 25."

"Stay where you are, I'm coming."

"Okay."

Fifteen minutes later, Noah is finally here.

"Hop in." He says through his window.

I get into his car. And as soon as I do, he hugs me.

"What the hell did he do?" He asks me.

I pull back and sit straight. "Christina was—is—in his apartment right now."

"Christina?!"

"Yes. That's not what bothers me.... what really bothers me is..." the image of them hugging comes to my mind. That's when I start sobbing.

"Let's go somewhere to talk."

*****************************
He took me to Starbucks and got us both coffee.

"Thanks." I say as I take the coffee from his hand.

He nods and takes a seat right across from me.

"So tell me. What happened?"

I sigh. "I opened the door. She was right in front of me. She asked about Shawn and I was about to go get him for her. But he was right behind me. She walked past me and went right into his arms. He hugs her back, Noah. Fucking hugs her back."

"The asshole."

"Yeah. And then I go to Raul's bedroom to take him to his mother. They weren't in the living room or the kitchen. In his bedroom, Noah."

"Fuck." He says, rubbing his face using both hands.

"It hurts a lot. I know that I shouldn't feel this. But what I should feel and what I do feel are two different things. I wanted him to realize that it was a mistake to kiss me. I wanted him to forget he ever tried to. And I guess that's a way of doing so, somehow, but it hurt like hell when I saw them."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"The ass. What was that bitch doing there anyway?"

"I don't know. And I don't want to."

"Ugh Shawn!"

"Oh yeah. And you know what? Something else bothers me. She has this control over him. Like when she's around him, he's always.... nervous.
I feel bad for him. Like... she cheated on him and asked for divorce. She hurt him bad, and yet when she needed him, he was there for her."

"Yes. I know."

"Thank you Noah. I already feel better. Talking to you is really comforting."

"Of course, Soph. You're my best friend Noah. The best friend with the best homemade food I've ever had."

I smile. He's trying to cheer me up and it's working.

"I really don't want to face Mom. Ugh. She'll keep asking questions."

"Does she know? About the whole thing?"

"She knows I like him. But about the almost-kiss? No. It happened yesterday and I didn't go home yet. So no, and I'm not planning on it."

"You two seem close."

"Yes, Mom and I.... it's been just me and her since Dad left. We only have each other. I don't have any siblings, not that I know of anyway. Who knows? Maybe his affair resulted in a kid." I shrug. "Don't say you're sorry."

"I won't." He smiles. "Where are you going tonight?"

"I don't know. I don't want to face Mom. And I don't even want to look at Shawn."

"My door's always open."

"Thanks, Noah."

"I'm serious."

"I know. But really, thank you."

"Whatever you want. But if you change your mind..."

"Okay." I smile at him.

**************************
Noah drove me home and I went straight to my room. Mom is in hers and Thank God she wasn't in the living room when I got home. But now, I'm comfortable enough to go see her.

"Mom?" I knock her door.

She doesn't answer.

"Mom?"

Still, no answer.

I just open the door. She's sitting with her back against the headboard, papers and pictures all around her.

"Are you okay?"

She nods.

"You sure?"

She nods again.

I take a good look at the stuff around. A picture of her and Dad, on their wedding day.

Shit! How did I forget? It's June 18th. Their wedding anniversary.

I just sit next to her and hug her until she falls asleep.

I take all the stuff around her and put them in their box. I cover her and go to my room. Can this day get any worse? I don't think so.