The Comfort(h)

7. Shit! Shit! Shit!

      Forth looked at the pale hand that was hugging his waist. His eyes followed the hand and looked at the face snuggled close to his left upper arm. Ming was lying by his stomach on the bed with his left hand resting on Forth. He was sleeping peacefully with a faint smile on his lips.

       Forth had been awake for about half an hour now but he made no attempt to raise himself from the bed. He could feel Ming against his skin under the duvet. He closed his eyes thightly and took a deep breath remembering everything that happened the previous night.

     Forth got off the bed after prying away Ming's hand slowly and carefully. He looked at the scattered clothes on the floor and held his head with his hands. He picked his boxer and jeans and wore it slowly trying to steady himself in spite of the hangover. He walked into the bathroom and rinsed his face and mouth. He looked at his reflection on the mirror with disgust.

      "Fuck you Forth! You dared to touch your junior. Shame on you! You took advantage of a drunk person and that too when he was heartbroken. Woww..How low Forth!", Forth's inner conscience cursed him.

      Unable to look at himself anymore, Forth stepped out of the bathroom and looked for his jacket when his eyes fell on the bare back of his junior. He looked at the pale skin which was adorned with bold hickeys and teeth marks. He moved quickly and covered Ming's back carefully with duvet till his neck without disturbing his sleep. He could only imagine what Ming's neck and chest would look like when he saw the hickeys getting deeper and darker near Ming's shoulder and near the sides of his neck. Again Forth closed his eyes cursing himself.

     Forth took two wide steps and reached the sliding door near the bed. He pulled open the door and stepped into the balcony. With trembling hands, Forth lighted a cigarette and inhaled it deeply. From balcony he could still see Ming sleeping on the bed.

     "I shouldn't have stopped you yesterday at the bar", Forth murmured to himself shaking his head.

     But when Forth saw Ming at the bar, he looked so vulnerable and weak that he couldn't stop himself from holding Ming's hand. And as usual his protective side kicked in when Ming snuggled close asking him to laugh. Even now he could remember the warning look Lam gave when he said he would take Ming to his dorm.

      "God! What have I done!" Forth exclaimed loudly disappointed with himself.

      Forth played each and every second from the previous night in his mind. In spite of the guilt that was gnawing at his heart, Forth smiled remembering how Ming tried to hide the room key, the bright smile he gave when he took out the whiskey bottle from fridge, how he pouted when Forth refused to drink and the victorious laugh when he cheated Forth to make him drink.

      Forth felt something churn violently inside his heart. He carefully remembered everything that had happened between Ming and him from the moment they met. He sorted out his feelings and started naming them one by one. There was affection, care and responsiblity. Then came sympathy and pity. After that it was curiosity and excitement. Now Forth was feeling the rest of the feelings like passion, desire, weakness, guilt and possessiveness was the eye opener for Forth.

     By the end of twenty minutes and three cigarettes, Forth had decided what he had to do next. He crushed the cigarette on the balcony railing and threw it away. He moved and leaned against the door frame observing the sleeping figure on the bed with a smile.

     Hours later, Ming slowly moved his head as he felt a bright light disturbing his sleep. He shut his eyes tightly and tried to turn to the other side of the bed when a sharp pain creeped through his body.