Like Buttons On A Shirt

Chapter 10

I didnt know what to do now. There was no other work Mrs. Way had given me but to entertain her son, so I made my way right back to his room.

I took a few deep breaths before knocking on his door.
I didnt even bother to wait for him to call me in so I just opened the door and entered the room.
Like I thought, Gerard was still laying in bed.
He was facing the window on the other side of the room and apparently he had left his bed at least once because all of his curtains were closed again.
I could hardly see his figure under the sheets because it was so dark.

I slowly went into the room, expecting Gerard to be asleep and closed the door behind me. Now it was even darker in here.
I didnt know why I should be in here if Gerard was asleep. Luckily a very annoyed sigh coming from the bed told me, that he was awake.

"I see you closed the curtains again.", I said

"Didnt I tell you to go away?", he asked and the tone in his voice made it clear that he didnt like me being here.
I rolled my eyes and went up to the chair at his desk.
I tried to push it closer to the bed but it was heavier than I thought and it took me some time to actually get it into the position I wanted it to be.
"Did I allow you to sit down?"

"No, Sir", I said, "but I think I might just sit down anyway"
I did as I said and for a while it was all quiet in the room.
I didnt know what to say.
Do I want to have an actual conversation with him?
But what am I supposed to talk about?
This is truly horrible.

"Listen...", I said after a while, "I know you dont like me and you dont want me here. I get it. I dont even understand why you would need a caretaker, as your mother calls it. But to be honest, Sir, I dont really like you either"

Maybe I was risking my job right now. Maybe now I could get fired for real but I had to try something because right now, there was no other way for me to get through to Gerard.
And when I saw him flinch in his bed I knew that at least something had happened with him. I just didn't know what.

"I really dont like you and you know why? Because you tried your hardest to be the most unlikeable person in this world. But I see right through your stupid game. You want me to quit like all the others did before me. I understand. I would probably do the Same.
But Sir, you really dont know who you're playing with here."

Suddenly Gerard turned around in bed to face me and actually sat up.
"Are you threatening me right now?", he asked and I really wished that there was some light in this room to see his face.

No, I didnt want to threaten him but whatever I was doing, it worked. And suddenly I felt a little more powerful than before. I remembered what Melanie had said and she was right. Gerard is noone I need to be afraid of so I should use the little self esteem I just gathered to say what I wanted to say.

"If you take anything I say as a threat or not, is all up to you, Sir. What I am trying to day is that you're not getting rid of me that easily. So why dont we just try to get along? We might have a had a rough start but we can always start again. Get to know each other!", I shrugged knowing he couldn't see it.

"I dont want to get to know you!", Gerard hissed, "I didnt ask for you to be here. All of this is my mother's work because for some reason she thinks she needs to treat me like a child. But I can very well care for myself and do not need someone like you in my house, you fucking street rat!"

"Clearly you cannot care for yourself. As far as I know you dont eat, you dont leave the house and you're very far from a healthy lifestyle. You need help. You need MY help."

"You dont know ANYTHING", Gerard screamed and I realised that I might have taken this a little too far.
"You dont know shit. Who do you even think you are? Di you think that just because my mother hired you, I dont have the capability to throw you out just as fast. I dont need help and I especially do not need help from someone like you"

"I do know some things. Melanie told me-..."

"Melanie told you WHAT?!", now Gerard was full on yelling and it took me a few seconds to realise what I had just done.
I didnt just risk my own job, but by mentioning Melanie I basically put the blame on her.
Fucking hell...

"She.... she told me about what happened in school with you two... the bullying and stuff", I murmured.
All the confidence I had when starting this fight had left within seconds.

"Oh really?"
Gerard was talking normally now and that kind of scared me even more.
"Did she tell you the son story about how I just left her alone and went away without saying goodbye or some shit like that?"

I didn't say anything to that. I had said enough already and now I needed to find a way to reduce the damage.

"Or did she tell you the truth? Because she was the one leaving me all alone when things got serious. She changed sides as soon as she saw the opportunity leaving me all to myself. And still I was kind enough to give her a place to stay and a job when she asked me to."

I was shocked.
So everything Melanie had told me was a lie?
"I'm sorry... I didnt know that"

Gerard let out a dry laugh.
"Of course you didnt. Because every story is true as long as it's a pretty girl telling it, right.
Like I said: you dont know shut so dont act like you do."

"I'm really sorry, Sir." I tried again but Gerard stopped me.

"Enough talking. I am tired of all this..."
In the dark I could see him burying his face in his hands, sighing loudly.

I was shocked.
Even in such darkness I could see that this fight had drained the rest of energy Gerard had.
Why am I so stupid. I should have stopped talking why it was still going great for me.

"I'm sorry" I said because I didnt know what else to say.

"Shut up already. I know you're not sorry. People like you are never sorry..."
He lifted his head again and looked right at me.
"Leave. Now.
I dont want to see you again today. And before you ask: no, I don't want dinner today. Just... leave me alone."

I wanted to argue about the dinner thing but decided to leave it be.
Gerard was very serious about this and after what I had triggered, it was only fair to give him some peace and quiet.
I got up and pushed back the chair to where it was standing before.
I walked up to the door and heard the covers shift again.
When I looked back I saw that Gerard had laid down again with his back facing me.

I stood there for a few seconds just looking at the young man that now seemed even smaller than before.
I wanted to apologise again but I knew that he wouldn't want to hear that.

But I didnt want to leave just like that so I said: "Goodnight, Sir" even though it was only afternoon.