Like Buttons On A Shirt

Chapter 19

Unfortunately Jessy was in the middle of helping another customer when I entered the store.
She just waved and nodded towards the counter where I could see the box. I waved back and took a look at the box. It came out even prettier than I had imagined. She had written Gerards name in a wavy fond and added a few leaves on the top. All in all ut was held simple but more than beautiful.
I absolutely loved it. Next to the box there was a little piece of paper with the price of this whole ordeal.
I'm not gonna lie, the box and everything in it was far from cheap and my heart hurt a little when I got the right amount of money out of my wallet. I still wasnt used to spending money on things that aren't necessary to surviving. And I didnt know if i was ever going to get used to this.

I was waiting a few moments for Jessica to finish her talk with the customer but it seemed like she wouldn't be done in the next few minutes and I didnt want to leave Pete waiting for too long. So I took the money and put it behind the counter in way where she would see it when she came over to ring up the next customer but noone else could see it.

I quickly gestured to her that I put the money there and waved her goodbye.
I wish i wasnt in such a hurry. I would have loved to talk to her.

But it was time to leave so that's exactly what I did. And I was careful not to let Pete have a look at the box. I was still a little pissed and didnt want him to say anything to that.

The drive back was very quiet. It seemed like Pete had noticed that he had maybe gotten a little too far with the topic of Gerard and he didnt try to have another conversation. I was glad that I could have my peace and quiet on the ride. I needed it.
I wasnt sure how to give the box to Gerard. Should I just go like "hey I got you something" and drop it into his lap? Or what else was I supposed to do?

That question had been on my mind ever since the box was in planning and even now that I was already standing in front of Gerards door I was very hesitant to knock on his door.
My stuff was already in my room. Even though I was mean to Pete he helped me with my stuff and I had the feeling that I was being unfair. Mayne I should apologise to him later.
But for now: focus!

I decided to just go with it and not think too much about how I would give him the box. Maybe he was asleep and I could just out it on his nightstand.

I carefully knocked on the door and got in without waiting for him to say something. Even if he was awake he wouldn't invite me in.

And even though his room was as dark as always I knew that he was awake. There was just something about the energy in the room that told me.
It was a weird thing to be honest. When Gerard was asleep the room felt almost calm. But when he was awake there was a certain type of heaviness in here that instantly got a grip of you, making everything seem much slower.
It was hard to explain. You had to feel it to understand.

"Good morning, Mr. Way", I said and tried to sound as cheerful as possible.
He was laying in bed, his back turned my way and only grunted as a greeting.

"Have you had breakfast yet?", I asked and got closer to the bed.
"I'm not hungry", he whispered.
Am I going crazy or did he sound even worse than usual.

"So... uhm..  how was your weekend, Sir?"
I tried to get him to talk. Because when he was talking I felt like I could learn more about his feelings.

I went over to the window and pulled the curtains aside, just like I did every morning. And just like every morning there was a surprised and very angry yelp coming from Gerards bed. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself.

"Unbelievable!", he hissed, "why is it that the second you're here I already want to murder you?"
That made me chuckle even more.
"You know I'm just doing my job", I said and went over to his bed, box still in hand.

"And a very poor one on top of that", he grunted and squeezed his eyes shut. They were probably hruning because of the sudden light switch.

"You still didnt tell me how you weekend was, Mr. Way", I reminded him.
He huffed and shrugged.
"It was as shitty and boring and useless and stupid like the last hundred weekends. What a stupid question"

"Well I had a very relaxing and nice weekend, thank you for asking, Sir!", I smiled at him.
Okay maybe that was a lie but he didnt have to know that my weekend was probably just as boring as his.

"I didnt ask because I dont care"
He folded his arms in front of his chest and I swear he was even pouting a little.

Fucking hell, did he look cute.

"I know I know, you probably want to know more about my weekend adventures but I dont have time to tell you all about it yet!", I joked, making him roll his eyes, "but maybe after breakfast we have enough time to talk about it all you want! Before I go and get you some very well needed food, I have a little present for you"

Gerard got curious for a moment. I could see a little shimmer in his eyes.
"I dont want any presents", he quickly said and I knew that he was trying to hide his curiosity.
He was such a stubborn man.

"But I know that you will want this present. It was made just for you. I hand picked all of the stuff... okay... with a little help... but it was my idea so you better fucking like it!"

"Ugh stop talking and give it to me already!"
He unfolded his arms and stretched them out.
See? I knew he was just acting disinterested.

"Say 'Please Frankie'", I grinned and hid the box behind my back.
Gerard narrowed his eyes and said: "Dont test my temper any more"

This time I rolled my eyes but decided to end this little game right there. I was too excited about giving him this present to drag the moment out any longer. 

I got the box from behind my back and held it out to Gerard.
He really tried to play it cool but the way he snatched the box out of my hands told me that he was just as excited as I was.

He opened the box and froze instantly.
Very carefully he took out the notebook and the brush, the paints and the say of aquarelle paints and laid them out in front of him. He didnt pay that much attention to the box but I guess that was okay.
I just hoped that he liked the present in general.

His facial expression didnt change and that annoyed me. I couldn't tell if he liked it or of he found it stupid. And suddenly I got nervous and felt like I had to explain myself.

"So the lady in the art store - her name is Jessy and shes super nice - she said that you would probably need all of this so you have a lot of supplies to chose from. I dont know much about art so I just followed her advice and I really like the colours and-..."

"Just shut up for a second", he interrupted my rambling.
I did shut up.

He looked through the different supplies and rearranged them on his bed sheets.
"You... You really got me art stuff?", he asked, as if the box and whatever was in it wasnt laying right in front of him.
"Yepp...", I said. I still couldn't tell if he was about to laugh in my face or not.

"And you can use all of that in bed I guess.", I said because i suddenly remembered that this was his condition for doing anything.

Gerard didnt say anything to that but took the Notebook in his hands and flipped through the pages. He took a piece of paper in his hands and rubbed over it with his fingers.
Next he took the palette and opened it. I really hoped he liked blue.

"I-I honestly dont know what to say", he admitted and put everything back in the box.

"How about... you dont say anything and let me get you some breakfast. And you will eat that because you're so super grateful... okay?", I offered. I didn't really care about the breakfast part. I just wanted to get out of here in case he really did not like his present.

And to my luck, Gerard just nodded and finally looked at the box and the engravings. Almost lovingly he let his fingers move over the letters and the leaves.

Before leaving I just had to ask.

"Uhm... do you... do you like it?"
I instantly felt stupid because I was looking like a try-hard and a fool if he said no.

Gerard didnt answer right away but before I left the room I could hear him quietly say:

"I love it"