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Chapter 40 - Epilogue

Dear Diary,

I think you're stupid.
If you ask me, writing here won't help me.
But Carla is super into this whole diary thing. I bet she tells all of he patients the same thing. That writing helps with their therapy.

But whatever helps her sleep at night, right?
I can at least give you a chance.

But how do I do this. Do I update you on my while fucking life?
It all started on the day I was born....
Hell nah we're not starting at the very beginning.

How about I tell you why I even need therapy.
Yeah? Yeah.

I decided to seek professional help when I slipped into alcoholism after I became an orphan.
Last year in July my mother passed away after a long battle with cancer. And because my dad died when I was very young I became an orphan just like that.

I'm not gonna lie... it was horrible. I loved my mother with all my heart but now, after everything I know, I realise that it was her time to go. She was in pain on the daily and just... wasnt the mother I knew anymore. and she knew too. It ate her up.
In the end I could see it in her eyes. She wanted to go.

And so I let her go.

Still it was an emotional time for me. I cried a lot and I drank even more.
I drank so much that i was hardly sober anymore.

If it were just me, I would have killed myself with all the alcohol I put inside my body. I even out myself right into hospital with alcohol poisoning once or twice.

Okay... six times in total.

But like I said: i wasn't alone. My best friend and flatmate Jessy came up to me one day as I was sitting on the couch - a beer in my hand. She made me choose: either I would admit that I have a problem and finally go to rehab or she would move out and never talk to me again.
At first I thought she was joking but as i looked behind her i saw all of her bags packed, ready to leave in an instant.
I didnt really have a choice, right?
Jessy was the only person I had left. My boyfriend Kyle had broken up with me a month prior because of my alcoholism so I was alone again.

And so I let Jessy take control. She threw away all of the alcohol I had left and drove me to the nearest rehabilitation centre.

There I spent the next six months of my life.
It was horrible at first. Getting all the toxins out of my body was painful and exhausting but after that I could actually enjoy my stay.
And that is where I met Carla. She was my therapist then and I stayed her patient even after I got out of rehabilitation.

And I am proud to announce that I am sober one year to this day!
Carla is also very proud.
So is Jessy.

And to celebrate my journey and my achievements she gave me this journal.... great.
I mean... I appreciate the gift but still.

So now you're pretty much updated on my life I can finally tell you about what happened a few weeks ago because I still cant believe it.
And maybe writing it down will help me understand everything.

I was sitting on the couch watching Netflix when my doorbell startled me.
What starteled me even more was who stood outside when I opened the door.

None other, than Gerard Way himself.

Oh, of course you dont know who Gerard is.
About ten years ago I worked for him. We had some kind of thing going on and he basically broke my heart.
No big deal.

The big deal was, that he was here - right in front of me - ten years later.

As expected the whole thing made me feel super awkward and brought back all of the feelings I forget about.