iz*One, ITZY, TWICE and NIZIU cracks and oneshots

English Time with Iz*One

Eunbi: Okay, so here's the plan.
Sakura: What plan?
Eunbi: We're going to bias-wreck Author-nim!
Sakura: No need for me to do that cos i am already her favorite.
Chaeyeon: Bitch, you're not Nako. Nako is the favorite and the Bias.
Sakura: Well, she just swerved to Nako! I am her OG fave so you have to be like me in order to bias wreck author-nim!
Minju: Yeah sure..
Hitomi: Yep.
Yena: Go on
Chaewon: Yay
Nako: *sarcastically sneeze*
Eunbi: So author-nim is being unfair these past few months.
Hyewon: Hello? She's only one month in this fandom.
Eunbi *sighs* okay so yeah, she says that she's an OT12 stan.
Wonyoung: But she is, right? She likes us all and has grown a huge fondness over us.
Yuri: and She supports us, and happy for us.
Eunbi: Jeez, you don't understand. Okay, she is def'ly an OT12 stan but isnt it a little unfair that Nako is the one that gets the majority of her favor?
Chaewon: Now that you mentioned it, she haven't laid a finger on Nako. She already slapped us but Nako..
Hyewon: Idk about you all, i'm stalking Author-nim's old facebook account.
Eunbi: Lemme see.
All of em*laughs*
Hyewon: Look at Author-nim's looks in 2008. Geez what an old lady! *laughs*
*spanks*
Sakura: I prefer the old author-nim. She's way cooler before.
Hyewon: She's not posting anything since 2012. Only anime Profile pictures and *burst out with laughter* Dorky selfies. Geez, she's like Yena

2014:
"So much hate for that Nako YuckBowkey? Idk merry xmas."

Chaeyeon: Author-nim sure is a one big pile of Asshole back then.
Nako: Why did she hate me so much back then?
Eunbi: It doesnt matter now. Atleast Nako has become a key for Author-nim to be a fond of Kpop.
Hyewon: Ooh, Author-nim's showing her abs eh? Baiting both men and women. What a coquettish--
Hitomi *covering Wonny's ears* UNNIE!
Wonyoung: What did she say?

2016:
Owwww! I just watched that crows movie stuff!! One of the best movies to date! Sakura Miyawaki, i take it back!! I love you! #SakuraMiyawaki #Wrecked #SakuraFanAKB

Sakura: I really am author-nim's favorite! And she's blondie there!! I STAN BLONDE AUTHOR-NIM!

2017:
2ne1 disbanded? KPOP WONT BE THE SAME AGAIN! FUCC YOU KPOP!

What if these Kpop stars are occultist and their songs hids a subliminal messages that lure us to join their satanic cult?

Hitomi *covering wonyoung's eyes*
Wonyoung: I can't see! I can't see.

Hyewon:. Hii-chan, you have a photo with Author-nim, look! Date Uploaded: December 8, 2017. You look so young here.
Hitomi: Eh? Lemme see..
*inserts Hii-chan on the stage, Author-nim being one of the audiences*
Hitomi: Ahh, so we breath the same air as author-chan back then eh? No wonder why the air smells polluted that time *spanks*
Hyewon: Imma save a lot of Author-nim's photos. She's a pretty gal. Stalking her account sure is fun! Imma save some for blackmailing purpose so that she won't be cheeky on us anymore, tihihihi--
*spanks hyewon*
Sakura: The mighty author-nim likes me *ze inserts sparkle eyes* I really an her favorite!
Wonyoung: Hii-unnie, can you remove your hands now?
*ahem*
Wonyoung *speaking in formal english* Good morning everyone! I am Victoria Jang or Jang Won Young in korean. I am Sixteen years old and the youngest member of iz*One! Nice to meet you *bows then smiled*
Hyewon: Eh? Wonya, what are you doing?
Wonyoung: If i cant bias-wreck Author-nim with my dancing or singing then it's time for me to be proficient in english and wreck her with my fluency!
Yena, Chaewon, Nako: pft *smirks*
Hitomi and Minju: Can't relate here.
Sakura: I am always her favorite, there's no need for me to do that!
Yena: Favorite she says pfft.
(Yena, Chaewon and Nako just cackled)
Sakura: What's so funny!? I am always Author-nim's favorite!
Minju *whistles*
Hii-chan: Author-nim's mama and Younger sister were both a Yujin bias.
Hyewon: While her niece and cousins are Hii-chan bias.
Eunbi: And her Favorite cousin is a Nako-bias.
Hitomi: Why do we need to do this again?
Sakura: Author-nim's keen observation were never wrong. She's a critic of her own and a brain of her own excellency. That is why i am--
Chaeyeon: No matter how much you bluff author-nim, You can never take Nako's place in her heart.
Sakura: I was always her favorite! *protested*
Eunbi: Easy for you to say that Chayeyeon because author-nim has a huge crush on--
*spanks eunbi*
Yujin: But we all need ourselves to be under author-nim's favor!! *ahem//inserts yujin's english mode// I'm a child! I'm a children! Wonya, your my love..
: No, "you're" my love.
Yujin: I loving you!
: No, "i'm loving you" you could just say "i love you."
Yena: I need a adult!
: Yena, you're already an adult.
Chaeyeon: ...
Chaewon: Uhmm..
: Victoria, mind teaching them the basic principles of english?
Wonyoung: AUTHOR-NIM CALLS ME BY MY ENGLISH NAME! *ze cheers*
Yena: Author-nimmu? How long have you been there?
: Eversince you guys starts speaking english.
Yujin: Hi author-nim!
: Hello "EUGENE".
Yujin: AUTHOR-NIM CALLS ME BY MY ENGLISH NAME TOO!
Wonyoung: Geez Yujin-ssi, there's no difference between Yujin and Eugene.
Eunbi: Hello author-nim!
: Hello Vicky.
Eunbi: Is that my english name?
: Yeah? So what are you fools doing?
Hitomi: Can't you tell by looking? They're practicing english.
:You one effin piece of savage girl, i know that you fools were practicing--
Minju: Don't lump us in author-nim. We don't need to practice our english skills just to wreck you. *winks*
: Disgusting.
Hitomi: Why do they have to bias wreck author-nim?
Sakura: Author-nimmu!
: What is it Sakura?
Sakura *ahem* you look elegantly beautiful today..
: Uwu O////O
Wonyoung: EHHH?
Hitomi: Eh?
Nako: coming from Sakura-unnie?
Sakura: No. i just read the book that author-nim wrote *ze shows ze book* 101 ways to practice basic english. I just started with---
*ze grabs the book and hits sakura*
Sakura *playfully rubs her head* Author-nimmu, that hurts. Atsuu
: Okay, hand over those Ear-chips and let us practice!
Wonyoung: I don't have my ear chips here since yesterday because i really want to communicate with Author-nim in english.
Minju: Including us?
Hitomi:. Don't lump us in author-nim.
Nako: Me too.
Chaewon: Me three,
Yena:. Me four.
Yuri: Me five
Eunbi: EVERYONE! HAND OVER YOUR EAR CHIPS TO AUTHOR-NIM!
Hyewon: Yes author-nim! This will be the start of our good relationship!
Hitomi: Leader-nim sure has a huge respect for this old la--
*hits Hii-chan*
All of them handed over their Ear chips that translates everyone i was saying in korean.
:Okay let us start by giving you gools an english name.
Hitomi: nopaga han mal-eul ihaehal su eobs-seubnida. geuleona naneun geunyeoga hal su eobs-eoseo gippeuda
(I can't understand what this old lady was saying. But i'm glad that she can't--- )
*Hits Hii-chan again*
:*ze shows her my earchips*
Hitomi: bulgongpyeong han jagganim! uliga anin geu chib-eul sayonghal su-issneun yuilhan salam-eun eotteohseubnikka?
(That's unfair author-nim! how come you're the only one who can use those chips and not us?)
: *claps* Okay no more Speaking in Korean, Japanese or any dialect or language. Just pretend that i am a random stranger who doesnt know the existence of Iz*One--
Hitomi: jagnyeon-e wassni?
(You mean, you from last year?)
: Last Warning Hitomi Honda. *death glares*
*everyone glares at Hii-chan*
Chaewon: *ze whispers* Hii-chan, jamsi bulpyeong-eul geumandusibsio. i olaedoen geos-i mueos-inji boja. jeug jeoja -nim-i uliege galeu chil su issdaneun geos-eul uimihanda. (Hii-chan, quit complaining for a second. let us see what this old--i mean author-nim can teach us.)
: Very good Chaewon. Okay you rascals, Introduce yourselves here! Let us start with of course, Victoria Jang!
Victoria: I already introduced myself earlier Author-nim.
: I didn't saw it. Do it again.
Victoria: My name is Jang Won Young. My english name is Victoria. I was born August 31, 2004 at Ichon-dong South Korea, My hobby is Dancing and reading english books.
: Next, Yujin.
Everyone stared at them. Wonyoung was giving a mouth gesture to Yujin so that she'll know what to say. The blue haired girl awkwardly smiles.
Yujin: Yujin.. Eugene.. Name.
: Your name is Yujin, yes.
Yujin: Uhmm..
Victoria *giving gestures*
: Victoria, no coaching or else, i'll have you repeat your introduction in a 500 word essay. Don't @ me *ze raised mi eyebrows*
Yujin *inserts impulsively sweating* ahh, author-nim. You know iz*One?
:Introduction please.
Yujin:. iz*One. Twelve gurs. Group.
: *just having an eye to eye contact with Yujin* Would you mind sharing some scarce information about yourself, Miss Anne Eugene?
Yujin *impulsive panicking*
: *sighs and stares at Victoria*
*victoria just nodded*
Victoria: Nae lideu yujin-eul ttala
(Follow my lead, Yujin) My..
Yujin *gulps* My..
Victoria *getting closer to Yujin* Name.
Yujin: N-Nemu..
Victoria*seductive voice while leaning herself closer to Yujin* Is--
:Ehem. Ehem. *ze seperates them to each other* Aren't you too being intimate and may i remind you faggots that this is an english class, not a red room for you folks to do such *ahem* Okay.
Yujin *ze sings*
You're so close yet you seemed so far
We're just in one place but i cant reach the same place as you are---
*spanks*
: Sakura, hand over the book.
Sakura: naneun hangsang naega dangsin-i gajang joh-ahaneun geos-eul algoiss-eossseubnida, Author-nim!
(I always knew i am your favorite, Author-nim!)
*ze hands over the book and gave it to Yujin*
: Yuri, you're next!
Yuri: Author-nim, naneun yeong-eoleul moshaeyo.
(Author-nim, i can't speak English.)
*sighs*
*Facepalmed*
*ze brushes my hands over my face*
*sighs again*
*ze returns their ear chips*
Victoria: Author-nim, i thought you're going to Help us how to be more proficient in english?
: *desperately panicking*
Sakura: Author-nim, are you okay?
: ..... *smiling outside, panicking inside*
Hitomi: Earth to old lady, Hello?
: Who are you calling old!?
Hitomi: She's okay.
Chaeyeon: What are we going to do? You returned our ear chips already.
: Well, uhhmm.. Kindly translate one of your songs in english and do it by group.. or pair.. but it'll be group because i don't want this to be a shipping material. The whole fandom was all about ship, ships shipping wars, having a date in rpw, posting pretentiousness... *inserts a lot of issue in fandom*
Hitomi: This is probably a noise coming from an old NBSB, unmarried old hag--
*spanks*
Minju *whispers* is she upset because JinJoo sinked?
*spanks*
: Okay, the team will be composed of 4 members and you all will be divided into three--
Hitomi: Let us do some digging and interview you again Author-nim.
: In english. You have to practice first. Ahem..
Minju: Translating songs is so boring. There's a google translate for that.
Hyewon: You're no fun author-nim.
Hitomi: Yeah author-nim, you're being boring.
Eunbi: You're better than this Author-nim.
:grrr:
Yena: Well, i guess that cant be helped. Author-nim is nothing now but an old hag--
*slaps yena*
Yena *ze cries* Author-nimmuu.
: Okay. So i think i have no choice but to pair you guys. Putting you into group might bring more chaos so yeah, i'll do the pairing stuff cos i don't want this to be a PETTY SHIPPING SUBJECT THAT MIGHT FUEL ANOTHER 7th GRADE LEVEL SHIPPING WAR * ahem * Okay, Vicky you'll be paired with Victoria.
Eunbi: Me and Wonya? Cool!
: Sakura... or Cherry
Sakura: Cherry.. that's a pretty name! I always knew i am your favorite!
: Whatever. you'll be paired with Hyewon.
Hyewon: HyeKkura shipper, confirmed.
: Shut up. Chaeyeon uhmm.. is Charice okay to you?
Chayeon: As long as it was given by you Author-nimz
: Okay then, i shall now Christen you as Charice.
Sakura: Author-nim, you--
Nako: Sakura nee, why are you feeling threatened?
Sakura: Grr..
: You'll be paired with with. ..
Hyewon: She's probably thinking about another ship again---
*spanks*
: Yena. Or Hayley, is that cool?
Yena: Hayley is cool. It looks like a rockstar!
: Yeah sure. Nako, you'll be paired with Yuri.
Nako and Yuri *ze stares to each other* Let's do our best *ze high five*
: Minju, you'll be paired with Yujin and Hii-chan, you'll be paired with Chaewon.
OT8: EHHHH? YOU'RE QUITE BEING UNFAIR AUTHOR-NIMMU!
Chaewon: I-i can't seperate myself with Hii-chan uwu.
Minju: I want Hii-chan to be my pair too!
Yujin: Me too!
Chaewon: Does anyone likes me?
Hii-chan: I do *winks*
Chaewon: UwU
Minju: HEY! HII-CHAN, I THOUGHT YOU LIKE ME?
Hii-chan: But i love you uwu.
Minju: O//O
Chaewon: EHHH? Hii-chan, that's kind of heartbreaking UwU.
Hii-chan *hugs them both* I love you guys to bits.
OT10: Awe...
*claps my hand*
: That was sweet but let's do the stuff already!
Eunbi: Change the pairings first, I want to be paired with Nako!
Chaeyeon: I want to be paired with Sakura.
Wonyoung: I--
*ze glares*
Wonyoung: I want to be paired with Author-nimmu!
: No! The pairing is final. I don't want this to be another--
Hyewon: Shipping subject nye nye but pairs Minju with Yujin. Ssambang is okay but geez, Jinjoo? Author-nim, you're a ---
Hii-chan *ze covers her mouth* Unnie!!
Eunbi: Author-nim, i want to be paired with nako!
: No. the pairing that i have made is irrevocable and none of you can't change that. Chaewon, you'll be adapting the name "Samantha", Yuri you'll be uhmm. You'll be just Yuri since is also an English name. Nako, you'll be "Olivia", Hii-chan, you're "Tori", Hyewon you're "Haidee" and Minjoo you're "Hermione"
Minju: OMG! I am really author-nim's favorite! She knows my fave!
Sakura: Hey.
*claps*
: Children, quiet. So this is what you all are going to do. Get to know each other.
Hyewon *roll eyes* Yeah sure, like Minju and Yujin already know each other. We know each other, we even can tell what color their panties are.
Nako: and their bra sizes.
*gasps*
: You're a pervert!? For real?
Hii-chan: Eh? Nako-chi?
Nako: I am just following Hyewon-unnie.
: So yeah, you have to know everything and express it in english and make a song out of it.
Minju: If it is a songwriting stuff then why didn't you pair me with Nako!? She's my songwriting partner!? And NakoMi is one of your superior aside from NakoWon and pft JinJoo, right?
Or with Wonya?
: Shut up and start working!
Hitomi: Why are we doing this again?
Chaewon: I don't know. But it seems fun doing it with you *then smiles* uhmm Tori?
Hitomi *smiled* Yeah uhmm. Samantha-unnie.
Yujin: This is another Sister stuff doing sister thing, ain't it.. Hermione-unnie?
Minju: I just need to find the proper words to depict this kind of relationship.
*both of them laughed*
Hyewon: Well cherry, we have to start working and practice english together!
Sakura: Yeah! And we all going to write our english songs and give our fans the best song ever!
Eunbi: Victoria, can you teach me some english words that i am still not familiar of?
Wonya: Sure but i'll ask author-nim tol if the words goes deeper.
Chaeyeon: Let us be like.. uhmm Hayley, can you name any western female rapper? I only know Beyonce but she aint a rapper.
Yena: You'll stay as Beyonce and i'll be JayZ and together we'll dominate the world!
Hyewon: Illuminati confirmed.
: The supposed to be English Class turns into a mess again because of these twelve.
Wonyoung: Eleven dorks who can't speak english well.
: I'm the narrator here cutie.
: *ze hands her the copy of my book* distribute this to them and kindly call me if you're already done cos I'm outta here! *ze elopes*
See you on the next chapter!