iz*One, ITZY, TWICE and NIZIU cracks and oneshots

Author's Crack 103

*drinks my sprite*
"Goodmorning homosexuals this is the Author-nim"
Yeji: I am Hwang Yeji of ITZY
Lia: I'm Choi Jisu
Ryujin: I'm Shin Ryujin
Chaeryeong: I am Lee Chaeryeong *in a calm voice/smiles gently* Hi everyone *waves*
"Awe"
Yuna: I'm Shin Yun---
*Yeji hits all of them*
Yeji: I was supposed to be the only one who'll speak after Author-nim. I'm the leader, remember?
Yuna: But we look cute in the camera!
Lia: Yeah, we're the visuals, remember?
Ryujin: Bitch please *raised an eyebrow*
Chaeryeong: Am i not pretty?
"Awe. You're pretty chaeryeong. People are just dumb to think that you're not. You're as beautiful as your sister"
Chaeryeong: Really author-nim? *in disbelief*
"Yep!"
Ryujin: Author-nim sure has a good taste when it comes to women.
"Okay" claps my hands. "Let's re-do that introduction again. The four of you will shut the efff up *ahem* Good morning Filthy Homosexuals, i'm Author-nim"
Yeji: I'm Hwang Yeji
"And this is--"
Ryujin: Another series of Author's crack because she's running out of Ideas and we still haven't got any fanfictions.
*cricket sounds*
Lia: That.. was savage..
Ryujin: Savage is my middle name.
Yuna: Really? I thought it was--
"Oh well, so we're here to be crackheads again while waiting for twice and iz*One to come--"
Yena: LOOK GUYS, AUTHOR-NIM IS STARTING ANOTHER CRACK AGAIN WITHOUT US!!
Eunbi: Where's my sprite? Have you seen it?
ITZY members: Looking at me
Eunbi: I am seriously going to KILL that person who stole my sprite.
Ryujin *whistling then hits me*
"Ouch, why you--"
Ryujin: One touch and i'll tell her..
Eunbi *glares* Tell me what!?
Ryujin and Me *quivers in fear*
Ryujin *whispers* Girl, she's scary..
"Bitch i told you to shut the eff up.."
Yeji: Why you iz*One fags are here?
Jihyo: They're not the only one *hits me*
"Jihyo, that hurts!"
Mina: Imagine, doing a crack without telling us.
"But you guys are busy with your upcoming cbs next month, remember?"
Minju: But we can still make time for this!
"Alright, Alright. Okay so once again, one of my favorite nuisances-"
Nayeon: Who are you calling "nuisance"?
"Well you're not even invited in this--"
Yena: Whatever *ahem* This is Choi Yena and i will be your MC for today because Author-nim is sick.
"I am not sick you fag!"
Wonyoung: What's a fag?
Hitomi: Is the F in WTF? Like "What The Fag" ?
All of  us *facepalmed*
Ryujin: Seriously, are they for real?
Yuna *to chaeryeong* Unnie, are you this naive?
"I only prepared this podcast for Five person, now the other 21 has come and it's such a *facepalmed again* drag like you girls are drag"
Jeongyeon *ze sings* Don't be a drag, just be a queen.
*slaps her*
"How can i accomodate this many members? I only prepared for five and here it is, now you're 26. *looks at the 01z* But 2001 liners are bringing more power this year eh? Like you guys are the ones that is igniting the music industry of this generation.
Yuri: Thank you author-nim.
"So tell, to the 2001 liners first, that includes Ryujin and Chaeryeong, what do you guys think is your greatest contribution in this present indusrty and what can you contribute more to the future generation?"
Hitomi: That was quite a "Miss Universe" level kind of question Author-nim but to answer that, well perhaps one of them is our pure and genuine talent because this entertainment is slowly becoming a competition where everyone of us are rivals in a friendly way.
"That was a good answer Hii-chan but thag wasn't the answer that i was looking for"
Minju: Uhmm, i agree with Hii-chan but i have no words to sum up her answer.
Ryujin * thinking *
Yuri * pretends that she was thinking // loading *
Chaeryeong: I want to share my thoughts but how can i put it into words?
Nako: Perhaps determination.
Everyone suddenly looks at Nako.
Nako: I do believe that Talent alone won't help you cross or survive this path. What's the point of having talent if you're not determined to show it? Also the self-confidence and patience to bear the criticisms. I have faced a lot as a japanese trainee and a performer of this country and was attacked because of how i look. There's a lot of standards that we all need to follow in order to be a performer of this country but that won't take my self confidence away from me because this is who i really am, a performer by heart, not by sight. And i think there's nothing we need to contribute except for the love and appreciation to give for our fans who's been there for us.
*claps claps*
Wonyoung *claps faster* Unnie! Unnie! Amazing!
Minju: That was one hell of a good answer Nako!
Hitomi: You nailed it!
Sana: Well, that's my student! Yes sir!
Momo: Kind of funny because she's better than you.
Sana *glares at Momo* Shut up.
Ryujin: Well i am speechless by what the shorty have said *looks at Chaeryeong* You heard her well.
Chaeryeong just nodded.
Eunbi: Well that's our Nako.
Sakura: You go girl! That's my girl!
"Okay and to twice, we just watched all of "More and More" teasers and you girls absolutely nailed and killed that concept. Especially Jihyo, you look like a total goddess! And jeongyeon, you finally let your inner visual self out you're so astoundingly beautiful.. i mean you all are but the one that standa out the most for me is Jeongyeon and Jihyo.
Nako: Author-nim, Daniel Kang is my only rival for Jihyo-sama's love. Don't lump yourself to our love triangle cos you're old
All of them *gasps*
Eunbi and Jihyo stares at Chaewon and Mina.
Eunbi*to chaewon* Is that what you're teaching nako? To be a savage?
Chaewon: Uhmm why me? It's Hii-chan?
Jihyo *to Mina* Is that what Nako learns from you?
Mina: I am not her mentor, It's Sana!
*glares at sana*
Sana: Hii-chan, you're always savage around!!
Momo: Hey, wait a second why are you blaming Hii-chan if your --
*slaps them*
Sana and Momo in unison: THAT HURTS AUTHOR-NIM *rubbing their head*
Nako and Hitomi: Why do we have to be lumped here? *doing the same*
Chaewon: Wait a second, Author-nim finally hits Nako!
Sakura: I am still the favorite--
"SHUT UP!"
All of them stops talking
*ahem* "So yeah like what i have said Twice served us a very different aesthetical and perhaps biblical concept and none of us are not expecting it. Especially Jihyo and Jeongyeon, you have served us a very different version of yourselves"
Jihyo: That was so nice of you author-nim.
Jeongyeon: Thank you for the honest review and compliment author-nim.
"More and More teaser is quite a serve to be honest and it receives a positive reviews from critics, citing it as the "Best Teaser" by a girlgroup. So tell me girls, what are the main concept of More and More? Is it true that Garden where you set your teasers is referring to Eden? And how does the object you guys are holding.. like for example, Jeongyeon, Sana and Nayeon holding a fruit, Jihyo, Chaeyoung, Tzuyu, and Dahyun holding a flower - am i right? and Mina staring at the chandelier while Momo holding a book relates to "More and More" concept? I just noticed that Jeongyeon is the only member who's wearing black so kindly explain to me what exactly your actual concept is trying to depict.
Nako: We want to know too!
Hitomi: Me too!
Yuna: I want to know but i wish that we'll reach that kind of concept soon
Yeji: We still have a lot of things to learn * pats Yuna*
*Twice members looking at each other*
"Anyone? You know we ONCEs, alongside with Hitomi, Nako and the rest of ITZY are curious about"
Hitomi*ze sings* I'm so curious, i'm so curious~ ah ah i'm --
*hits Hitomi*
Hitomi *rubs her head* Author-nimmu..
Jeongyeon: Well if you asked me in my own perception, it is about human's succumb to temptation, the fall down of humanity, greediness and other sins. I potrayed the role of sin itself - a snake which describes my personality. Nayeon and Sana are the curious Adam and Eve whom fell into temptation and ended up eating the fruit, Mina depicts the naiveté that Adam and Eve has while Momo holding the book depicts the curiosity of what would happen to them if they ate the fruit. The four women who's holding flowers are either, the flowers themselves who once bloom with innocence and purity not until i invaded the whole mankind with sins or they're probably the children of next generation who will be victimized by sins that i initiated.
"More and More" depicts to the greed, that symbolizes humans who has a limitless needs and wants.
*all of us were shooked*
Jihyo: That was..
"Deep, i know. Next question, what comes up to your mind why did you decide to have this kind of concept. We all know that you girls started as a carefree teenagers at "Ooh-Aah", Hippy growing up adults in "TT".. well i'm just a baby Once so i just noticed that your contents are getting darker and mature.
Tzuyu: Well that's how the music evolves. We are growing out of it author-nim.
Nayeon: And we're not just talking about romance here but rather those people who's struggling to love themselves, to accept themselves, who are losing motivation to go on and who are restrained by their own thoughts. We want our listeners to know that we're here for them, standing for them..
Mina: Like how we are able to deliver our message and humble thoughts through aesthetical way where everyone can have some kind of vibes from our time and enjoy what we made for them.
"That was a very motivationg message Nayeon and Mina. Now i cannot wait for this whole More and More to be released *to Iz*One* And to you girls, is there anything that you want to tell us?
Wonyoung: Well--
*Hitomi covers her mouth*
Hitomi: She's not saying anything author-nim *sheepishly laughs* girl, one more slip of your tongue and we'll be suspended.
"What about you Hii-chan? First, you surprised us with your sudden abs, then yesterday, you surprised us with your hair color and we just noticed that your face aged a little.."
Hitomi: And what's with that author-nim?
"Well, it looks good on you"
Sakura: Everything looks good on Hii, author-nim.
Minju *hugs Hitomi* She's right!
*inserts Hii-chan blushing*
"Well Hii-chan, what would you serve for us, your stans? Judging by how you changed, it seems that you are slowly stepping out on the cute persona that you're once known for"
Hitomi *thinking* Hmm? That's a surprise author-nim. I want to tell you a little of it but we don't want to be suspended.
"Well okay, let's see about that and ITZY, is there anything you want to share us? It'll be months since you guys last posted on your IG and we never heard anything about you guys except for the Vlive and stuff. So is there anything you want to share? Like for example, Wannabe has garnered 127 million views and was a banger. It has become an anthem for LGBTQ."
Lia *surprised* Our song was that popular *laughs* I have no idea, really. I was like, during our rest day. I was listening to the song or sometimes watching TV while saying "I can't believe that i am a part of this group"
Yuna: Unnie, you're so cute!!! *was about to pinch Lia but Yeji pushes her*
Lia: Like there was one time Wannabe was played on our local radio i was like "Oh this is us, this is our song. It was being played on the radio, we're being featured, someone called my name alongside with the members..
Ryujin: I have the same reaction as mine with Lia. See, author-nim, i never wanted to be an idol in the first place. I am just a 15 year old hippy girl who wants to live her life to its fullest extent, i was once called by YG but i rejected it because i have no plans on becoming an idol that time. Tho i played on a various tv shows and music videos. I used the money that i earned there to support my studies. But one time, just one time, I was at the GOT7 concert, then when i take a nature's break, someone from JYP suddenly gave me a card and well, it was kind of hard to believe at first then they called my mom, i never liked it at first but my mother said i need to try and here it is, they start scouting me.. hearing at how Wannabe like what you said has been a part of cultural impact makes my heart flutters because we are all just a normal kids ourselves.
"That was a good story Ryujin and Lia, anyone else?"
Yuna: Author-nim, i am Hussey!!
"Okay?"
Yujin: Okay, you're next 'thor-nim.
" 'thor-nim? That was a nice nickname Yujin-ssi"
Yena: What are we going to ask author-nim?
Wonyoung *shrugs shoulders* Beats me.
Momo: Wait, author.. would you share your first impression about us all here?
Tzuyu: Well, all i know is.. Author-nim disliked us back then.
Nako: She sure is..
Sakura: Not me. Author-nim was a huge fan of me.
Nako: "was"
Sakura: I saw your old twitter account and i was your profile photo!
Yena: "was" *roll eyes*
Sakura *ze shows my old twitter account* And guess what, her first twitter username was "@kimmiyawaki"
Wonyoung: "was". Like author-nim, Sakura-unnie is kind of stuck in the past.
Hitomi: "was" kind of stuck.
Eunbi *hits all of us*
All of us *in Unison* That hurts!
Eunbi also hits Chaewon.
Chaewon*rubs her head* Why me?
Eunbi: You're the unit's leader remember?
Hitomi: But hii-chan is the only savage here. *cries*
"Okay would you all SHUT UP!"
*cricket sounds*
"That's better. Okay so like what Tzuyu said, i never liked you guys in the first place"
Jihyo: Wow, for a baby once, she sure is good like she knows how to pronounce Tzuyu's name properly.
"I was there during Twice's debut but i criticized them. Heard Iz*One's songs in every malls or school plays, even heard their name but i never took a huge fondness over them, I know of Itzy but i ignored them at first and even call then "Pretentious" and trying hard.
Ryujin: Because TXT is the only group that has a first impression on you because they're boys and you're such a --
Chaeyeon: Ryujin, words! *while covering both of Hii-chan and Wonyoung's ears*
"But first impression never last. It tooks me 5 years to stan twice, 1 year to stan ITZY and one and a half year to stan iz*One but let us start with Iz*One since Iz*One was the first group that i came to like this year"
Sakura: I changed author-nim's point of view---
Chaewon: Nako *clears throat*
Mina: What makes you change your mind?
"Perhaps because i am depressed and your songs seems to be soothing on my ears that's why i start liking it. I start liking ITZY because of my curiosity with Chaeyeon and Chaeryeong. As you all know *smiles a little while staring at the ChaeSis and fidgeting my fingers* I ..
Chaewon: You have a huge crush on Chaeyeon, we get it!
"Stop spoiling me wench. Well yes, it was exactly the day when Wannabe vid was dropped and goddamn Chaeryeong is so beautiful like she got my eyes, i was captivated. The next thing i know, I lose my grasp on Chaeyeon cos Chaeryeong is wrecking me aff."
Yeji: And you ended up being a Lia and Yuna bias.
Mina: What about us?
"Ny curiosity towards Jihyo. Nako always mention her name and talks about how much she is a fan of Jihyo. And i got a little curious about Jihyo and asked my sister who is a Once about her. The only thing that my sister told me is "She's got big Titti--
The rest of Iz*One: AUTHOR-NIM!!
"So yeah just a month ago, i decided to be a twice because i am growing into their music and my first bias was Mina and Tzuyu. I like Mina a lot. She looks like my cousin - but only a little. One thing i like about Mina is.. she's a devout Catholic..
Chaeyoung: I am a devout catholic too.
Nayeon: Pentecostal here?
Tzuyu: Uhmm I'm a born again christian.
Dahyun: I'm a christian by heart not religion so let's shift the topic because it is a very sensitive topic to talk about.
*crickets sound*
"Okay, so in Iz*One i thought Eunbi was a very reliable leader -- well i wasn't wrong with that, she is a reliable leader and a mother figure but sometimes, she drops her brain off.."
Sakura: No need to say things about me author-nim.
"Then to Hyewon, well she's Hyewon, and she'll always be Hyewon."
Hyewon*monotone* That's too deep. Thanks
"Yena, well i am expecting her to be like.. some kind of .. Well, she's cute. I like Yena before, really. I really do like her a lot."
Yena *raised an eyebrows to Sakura* Told you bitch.
Sakura:Whatever! *waves her hair*
"Chaewon, i thought you're one of the youngest. I was expecting you to be around 16 or 17 but you radiate a 1999 kind of vibe. And Minju, bitch you're pretty but you're kind of--"
Minju: Whatever i know that you're upset because JinJoo didn't happen for real!
"Okay let's move on! Next topic is--"
Sana: Who do you think are the gayest members here?
"Gayest? You mean homosexuals?" *wonders my eyes around them then smirks* That's a pretty interesting question if you asked me.
Nako and Sakura *stares while shaking*
"Why are you girls shaking? Panicking in gay mode?"
Sana: Nako is a homo?
"Oh my Gosh, Nako, you're a homo? Ohh--"
Nako: No author-nim, even if i am, I wont date an old hag like you.
Minju: Chaewon, we really need to talk.
Chaewon: You're coming with us Hii-chan.
Hitomi: Eh!? *to Momo* Unnie, can you come with me too?
Sana *smirks*
Momo: What are you looking at?
Sana*simply laughing* Nothing..
Mina *just slaps them*
"You guys are nuisance *forced a smile in the midst of anger* We're outta here"
*click*
All: AUTHOR-NIM!!!!