iz*One, ITZY, TWICE and NIZIU cracks and oneshots

Author's Crack

"Goodmorning homosexuals, heterosexuals and pedophiles who fetishes young idols (your days are so numbered)!
After so many days or weeks of losing myself, i have finally returned"
*looks around and saw no one*
*clears throat*
"As you can see i-"
Sakura: Yo author-nim, you're finally back with those killer visuals!
*sighs*
"Not going to be surprised because i was expecting this to happen" then i look at sakura.
Sakura: Always lookin' good, neh Author-nim?
"Shut up you anorexic wench. Where's the others?"
Sakura: They've been with you all along, didn't you noticed?
*looks at my left and right side and saw them smiling like idiots*
"Ahh yes. They're also here, what a surprise" i said in monotone then faced the audience "Okay so this will be another of--"
All of then: Iz*One and Author's Crack 101!
Eunbi:Please do read to know more about Iz*One.
Sakura: And ofcourse Author-nim.
Hitomi: No one cares after author-nim, remember? That's why this fanfiction exist because if someone cares about her then we won't be here in the first place *inserts savage shades and plays the savage song by snoop dog*
"Cut it out.." removes the savage shades from Hii-chan and turns off the music.
Chaeyeon: We are not getting a lot from author-nim these past few days and weeks because she was focused more on Twice, Everglow and ITZY, Smh author-nim.
"Where did you learn that word?"
Chaeyeon: You mean what i just said?
"No, the "smh" word."
Nako: You keep saying that word all the time *rolls eyes*
"And who taught Nako to be a sass?"
Chaewon: Aren't you a sass too Saggy-nim?
*hits Chaewon*
Chaewon*rubs her head* Why you--
Hyewon: Two Chaewons are fighting, interesting. Might have capture this and post it on IG.
Hitomi: We don't have our own IG or any SNS account, remember?
Minju: Well we all once had but it was only for promotional purposes.
Eunbi: So where have you been these past few days author-nim?
"I took a short break from unnecessary things around me, especially from you guys"
Wonyoung: She's saying that becase she finally swerved into Twice, Everglow and ITZY so she doesn't care sbout is anymore.
Yujin: I agree.
"Hey, it's not!" I protested then clears my throat. "I have a depression and it tooks me awhile to bring mysel back together and write another story--"
Yuri: We're already at our 83rd chapter and Iz*OneShots were just 2 months old. You're always updating and writing author-nim but you're leaving us out of the box sometimes.
Yena: Author-nim sure is biased, pft smh.
"Another of that SMH again. What does that mean by the way?"
Yena: When we say SMH it means we're completely annoyed.
"SMH is a pseudonym and--"
Nako: Author-nim you know too much and you know a lot but it wasn't necessary because you're still jobless and unemployed.
Hitomi: Nako-chi, that was one hell of a hot ICE BREAKER!
Yujin: How come its hot when its Ice, it should be cold, physics duh?
Hitomi: It's a cathphrase, use your commonsense, it's free.
Chaewon: You guys *facepalmed*
"Wait a second *looks around* am i forgetting something?"
Hitomi: Uhmm, you forgot that your brain's still existin--
*hits hitomi*
"Seriously. Okay say present as i call your name! Eunbi!"
Eunbi: Hey!
"Seriously, ah so Eunbi-nim isn't here ok--"
Eunbi: I said present, PRESENT!
"Good then you can now fix the heater that you destroyed and apologize before they suspend your Vlive account"
Eunbi: That's too personal author-nim.
"Sakura, is Sakura here?"
Sakura: Author-nim, i'm always here.
"Good.."
Eunbi: Say present! *to me* Author-nim, you're so unfair!
Sakura: Well *waves her hair*
Hyewon: Your hair is getting into my face you anorexic--
Sakura *hits hyewon* Only author-nim has the authority to call me "Anorexic"
Eunbi: But it was still unfair--
Sakura: Well i am author-nim's favorite and bias so no complaining!
Nako: Excuse me?
Yena: Mind if i meddle in?
Chaewon: Seriously?
Sakura: The jealous ones are reacting again. Well you have to possess the kind of mind that author-nim has in order to be her favorite.
Hitomi: You mean,  the narrow-mindedness?
*hits all of them except Nako*
Sakura*rubbing her head* Author-nim, why do you have to hit me too! I am your favorite!
"Okay *ahem* Hyewon, where's Hyewon?"
Hyewon: Present!
"Good girl.. Yena!"
Yena: Should i present too?
"Well it seems Yena's ab--"
Yena: PRESENT!
"Chaeyeon?"
Chaeyeon: Present-nim!
"Chaewon?"
Hyewon: Why are you asking if Chaewon is here when you can see her through your own reflection?
Me and Chaewon: SHUT UP! *looks at each other then looks away* HMP!
Hyewon just shrugs her shoulders.
"Who comes next? Ahh Nako!"
Nako: I have been dissing you since you came here so how come you didn't notice? Am i that small?
"Well Nako's here"
Yena: You should be called the Bias-nim instead of Author-nim!
*hits Yena again with a lightstick*
"Hitomi, Hii-chan"
Hitomi: It seems that Wiz*Ones are forgetting the fact that i am here in the twelve place of popularity and visuals.
"Yuri?"
Yuri *ze sings* Present.
"Sheesh cut that out. Yujin"
Yujin: Present
"And last Won--"
Wonyoung: PRESENT AUTHOR-NIM!
"Headcount!"
Eunbi: One!
Sakura: Two!
Hyewon: Three!
Chaeyeon: FOUR!
Chaewon: Who's that knockin on my --
*Hits Chaewon again*
Chaewon: Five! *rubs her head*
Minju: Six!
Nako: Seven!
Hitomi: Eight! Hurry up and don't be la--
*hits hitomi again*
Yuri: Nine!
Yujin: Ten!
Wonyoung: Eleven!
"You're only Eleven? How come you're only Eleven? I thought you guys were 12? Hmm.. not unless *smiles* I am the Twelveth member!"
All of them laughs
"What's so funny?"
Hitomi: You're always clowning around author-nim!
"Okay this isn't funny because i am forgetting someone but who it is? I checked your photos and there's twelve of you so how come it's only eleven?"
Yena *pokes me* Gorl, you forgot me, remember?
"I an counting since this chapter started and there's only eleven of you but i have a feeling that all of you guys were here.. Oh well"
Then threw a cassette on Yuri.
Yuri: Is this another song?
"No, it's chocolate, have a bite"
Yuri: Seriously author-nim..
"I tried to write a song awhile ago and finished it so i want you all to sing it if it is good and ofcourse to count how many of you are here.. cos if there's only eleven then i am probably the twelveth member"
Yuri: Can we check the lyric?
*ze gave them the lyric paper*
Yuri plays the cassette that has a 30 second snippet of the song then tries to sing it.
Wonyoung: Based on my scarce english knowledge, it was deep.. and dark..
"Well because i told you i was suffering in depression and anxiety these past few years and they keep on coming and going.."
Sakura*simply smiled* Looking at this song makes me remember Mina-unnie's dream about standing alone in front of everybody, hearing people talks and she can't understand what they're all saying. *then she looks at Hitomi* Her dreams somehow reflects to Hitomi who seemed kind of lost these past few days.
"To be frankly honest, i wrote that song for Mina and Hii-chan, especially." Then smiled at Sakura.
Sakura: I knew it.
Hitomi: Why me author-nim?
"You still have a lot of time finding yourself sport" snapped my fingers then vanished.
Wonyoung: Well she's author-nim alright? She can vanish whenever she likes.
"Bitch, i'm here on the piano, practicing to play it. You all psyched? Choose your parts now"
Yuri sits with me.
Yuri: Let us play the piano author-nim.
*stands up* "I'll play the violin for a very artistic intro. Let us all know when you're ready"
Eunbi: We're ready now Author-nim!
Me and Yuri nodded to each other then played the Violin for an introduction.
Sakura suddenly hums around the tune and sings.