iz*One, ITZY, TWICE and NIZIU cracks and oneshots

Author's Crack ft IZ*One, EVERGLOW, and Twice

Yeji: So you didn't include us here, eh author-nim? *rolls her eyes* So much hate.
"Come on Cat noir, you'll have yours later"
Yeji: Cat noir? But i'm the fury!
"Whatever cat noir! Roll the camera!"
Lia: Geez, you still havent start making a fanfiction about us.
Wendy: She didn't even include us here either. So much hate for you author-nim!
"Alright, alright! I'll replace it! *ahem* focus the camera on my pretty face! *brushes my hair* Okay goodevening homosexuals and closeted bisexuals around the world, this is Author-nim's crack ft--"
Eunbi: Iz*One
EU: Everglow
Jihyo: Twice
Irene: Red Velvet
Yeji: and ITZY!!
*facepalm* "Seriously.. you don't have to ruin my minimal screentime. There's so many of you how can i handle?"
Joy: You didn't give us lines back there author-nim!
Minju: Us too, rip to our screentimes. I can't believe that you ignore this *waves her hair* Glamorous visuals of mine.
*raised an eyebrow* "Excuse me, Ms. Kim Minju? Just because you served a fire on your pictorial with the 01z a couple of days ago that doesn't mean you have all the authority to act cheeky on me, wench" *ze waves hair*
Sakura: Ooh i love Author-nim's competent side.
Minju *looks at me from head to toe* Just because you have your good visuals back that doesn't mean you can smurf me with that peculiar visuals of yours.
Yeri *whispers* Are they always like this?
Hitomi: Not really. Author-nim's just being competent as hell because she thinks that we're still in 2014 where her superior visuals was reigning.
Nayeon: Why do pretty girls waste so many time fixing their looks? If they were born to be  pretty then let it be!
Yeji: I agree.
Yuna: Says the IT girls of Korea.
Tzuyu*whispers* Unnie, is author-nim pretty?
Jihyo: Yeah, she's pretty but she's not a visual material. She looks too mature.
Mina: And she's old. .
Dahyun: But arent you guys older than her? Jihyo and Mina glares at her
Me and Minju were just glaring at each other.
Chaeryeong: Are they okay?
Ryujin: This is starting to heat up.
Lia: Aren't you going to stop them?
Sakura: Beat her with your visuals, author-nim!
Minju: Sakura-unnie!? You're supposed to cheer me, not her.
"How bizaare"
Minju*looks at me* Got to admit missy, you're pretty but you're old. You're too old and you aged dramatically! If it wasn't for your eyes
*raised her eyebrows* and your mixed blood.
Momo*whispers* This is getting personal, really.
Hyewon: Visuals my ass, Minju was just another frog princess while Author-nim's face was just like God's fail attempt to create Chaewon.
Chaewon and Me *in Unison* SHUT UP WILL YOU!?
Hyewon *shrugs shoulders*
*faced Minju* "Girl, who knows? That visual of yours might change one day"
Minju: I wonder how you'll look if you were a pure filipina.
"I am a pure filipina and can still catch up to your visuals, how about that?"
Sana *whispers* I am loving the audacity of this gal.
Wendy: Meh, she was just another spoiled brat.
Minju: Oh really? Bitch you're from interracial family of Chinese, American, Spanish and a little of Filipina. *ze shows my photo*
*cricket sounds*
Chaewon: Excuse me Minju but that's my childhood photo.
Hyewon: See? You guys are a two of a kind that even Minju gets confused *laughs*
*ze glares at Hyewon* "WE'RE NOT!"
Chaewon: I don't look like an old and Unmarried wom--"
*ze hits Chaewon with lightstick*
"2kimz crumbs! Recorded!"
Minju: Look at that fake expression coming from a Jinjoo shipper, pathetic. *ze looks for another photo* Where's that photo of Author-nim? I knew i keep it here...
EU*whispers* Does pretty girls always act like this? I havent seen Sihyeon nor Yiren acted like spoiled brats and gonna brag about their visuals.
Mia: I'm glad that i dont give a damn about visuals. Talent is the real deal here bish.. Tuhlentuh.
Onda: Geez Mia-unnie, i hate it when you're trying to add up an accent to your diction. It's starting to sound annoying.
Sakura: You talkin' about this photo *ze shows the mighty photo/inserts Tadaaa!!*
*gasps*
Nako: Kawaii!!! Uwu!! *gushes*
Hitomi: Moe! Moe! Rosy bun cheeks! You're so cute ssamu-unnie! I like that Raven color of your hair!
Chaewon: Uhmm.. i dont have a silky raven hair when i was young? And her nose are too pointed?
Hyewon *just laughs*
Chaewon: What's so funny?
Minju *grabs the photo from Sakura* Gimme that *ze shows them* Look! This old hag and this adorable raven haired, brown eyed, pinkish lips, foreign--
*grabs the photo*
"That's enough. We're wasting a lot of time here bragging about each other's visuals.."
Chaeyeon *in monotone* Oh.. she finally noticed.
Yuna: They're all arguing about visuals but duh Lia unnie is the prettiest and most visual material."
Ryujin: I hate to say this but i agree.
Lia *sheepishly smiled* Come on guys..
"There's no point in arguing, i'm the prettiest, period. *ahem* Sorry for the inconvinience guys.. Minju was just being a brat but here it is welcome to--"
All of them: AUTHOR NIM's CRACK!!!
"Why do you guys always have to steal my screen time?" *facepalm*
Yeji: So what exactly are we going to do with this "Crack" Thing?
"There's so many of you and i can't handle it. I'm leaving the sho--"
Irene, Yeji, Jihyo, EU, Eunbi: Hold on a second *pulls me back* You'll stay here and end this bullshit that you just started.
"Fine, let me go *ahem* so let's just started with asking you faggots why did you choose these vixens as your leader. One representative per group"
Yeri: Well, i'll start with us. I may not be with them at the beginning but the reason why i think Irene-unnie was nominated as our leader-nim because she is the most reliable person that i know and how she molded us with proper love and care like a mother.
"Awe shocks. She's too cute uwu"
Irene: I'm touched awe Yeri * was about to hug her*
"You leaders better stay here" then pulls her back from where she belongs.
Nayeon: Well the reason why we all choose Jihyo as our leader is.. we have seen her struggles as a trainee and her reliability and patience was once tested. She was always there for me and Jeongyeon, despite on being younger than us, she potray the role of being an older sister. Makes us feel that we are not alone and always fueling our spirits up. * then she wents on Jihyo's direction* Jihyo makes us feel what having family in the training feels like, that's why i - as the behalf of twice was thankful to have you in our group. Thank you for being strong for us. *then hugs Jihyo*
All of the Twice members cried
Hitomi: Why are you crying Author-nim, are you a twice member too?
"No but Nako is crying.."  *sniffs*
Nako: Jihyo-sama.
Hitomi: Geez
"Up next.."
Wonyoung, Yujin and Nako: Jack en Poy!
Sakura *pushing Chaewon* You should be the representative! You're from Woolimz too, remember?
Chaewon *then pushed sakura* You go too! She's one of your Harems, remember!?
*sighs* / *facepalmed*
Yeji: Geez, are they always like this?
Eunbi *facepalmed* When will they learn how not to Embarass me on a live TV?
Yujin, Nako and Wonyoung: Jack en poy!
*inserts both Yujin and Wonyoung are paper and Nako was rock*
Yujin: Go Nako-chi!!!
Wonyoung *pushes her* You go unnie!
Iz*One starts cheering Nako.
Nako: Uhmm.. Annou.. *scratches her cheeks* Eunbi-unnie the reason why we chose her as our leader-nim is because *fidgeted her fingers* Annou.. she .. she..
Sakura: Go nako!!!
Nako *inserts gay panic* ettou.. She has a big o*****.
*gasps*
Wonyoung: Hii-chan unnie, what did she just said? And could you please stop putting your hands on my ears everytime Nako-unnie or Author-nim is saying some words?
Hitomi *shocks as Sana Minatozaki bias in Nako* Maybe i'll start distancing myself to her from now on.
(NakoTomi sinked)
Rip Nakotomi (2018 - 2020)
"Geez, g-go back! T-that's.."
Aisha: Is she blushing? For real?
Mia: Yeah, is the old lady blushing? For real?
*hits them both*
Yiren: That's what you get for messing up with her.
*tilted my head* "Next!"
Nako went back to her seat and noticed her co -izone members staring at her.
Nako: Is something wrong?
Then she noticed Eunbi who's giving her a death glare.
"Next!"
Yuna stands up
Yuna: Yay! *jump* We chose Yeji-unnie because she's reliable, kind, and uhmm.. she's our uhmm.. hmmm.. She's our secret weapon! *zen zen zen zennnnn!!*
Yeji: Well much better than being complimented because of boobs-- oop.
EU: Well here goes my girls who's gon' say good stuff about me!
Everglow members look at each other.
*inserts Onda who walks in front wearing a confused face*
EU: Onda, show them why am i leader..
"To be honest, i thought EU was just another extra and Sihyeon was the leader"
EU: Shut up and my onda has prepared herself for this!
Yiren: Go onda! Fighting! Show them you can speak in english too!
Mia: Go huney!
Sihyeon: Show em what Everglow was about!
Onda*smiles* Good afternoon everyone.. *stares at everyone then gave EU a smiling face* We chose Jiwon-unnie because.. *smiles*
*inserts EU's smiling face, smiling wide*
EU: That's it, show them why am i the leader.
Onda: Simply because she's the oldest, thank you!
Then runs back to her seat.
Me *inserts stopping myself from laughing*
Chaewon: Good one eh? Says who? *laughs*
EU: Onda, how could you?
Onda: But its true. We have no other choice than you because we all thought you're mature, patient and reliable.
Reliable
Reliable
Reliable
*inserts savage shade*
*inserts meme song by snoop dog*
Chaewon: Atleast someone is telling the truth! *laughs*
"Chaewon, aren't you the leader of Iz*One JII? And Mina of Twicez*One?"
Eunbi: Okay, someone from Iz*One KI, stand up and show me how much of a good leader am i!
Nako pushes wonyoung.
Nako: You go!
Then Minju pushed Yujin
Minju: You go girl!
"Okay Yujin, you go first"
Yujin: Eunbi-unnie is our leader..
Eunbi: Yes.. yes..
Yujin: Because sakura-unnie doesn't want to be a leader!
Eunbi *inserts Wtf face/facepalmed*
Wonyoung: Well, we chose Chaewon-unnie because..
Chaewon *smiling outside / "please don't say anything stupid" inside*
Wonyoung: Because she and Hii-chan were like a big sister of the unit. They're mature and a shoulder to cry on. And  she's always comforting everyone when we're a little nervous. Fighting!
Chaewon: Hehe..
Eunbi: Am i not a good leader ahuhu.
Hitomi: But to be honest, the reason why they chose Ssamu-unnie simply  because she's from Woolimz like Eunbi-unnie.
Chaewon *facepalmed* Hii-chan, why do you always have to ruin everything?
Sana: So who's our representative?
Mina: Sakura, would you do the honors?
Sakura: Uhmm.. no unnie... i might embarass you..
Mina: Hii-chan?
Hitomi: Neh. Don't like.
Mina: Geez you guys are stubborn. *looks at Nako* Guess i have no choice. Nako?
Nako *stands again*
Yuri: Guess she's gonna call Mina-pyon a flat-chested one.
Momo: Mina, are you sure about her?
Mina: I have faith in her even if i'm doubting a little..
Nako: The reason why we elected Mina-unnie as our leader-nim because she suits the position well. She can be strict and nice at the same time, sometimes calm and scary. She was like our mother.
Mina *smiled* I'm .. i'm ..
Eunbi: You didn't even said those to me  😩 Why nako? Why?
Nako *salty tone* You should have asked Hyewon-ssi instead of me. Hmp  *then wents back to her seat*
Jihyo: Wow attitude.
Yuri: Guess she's still upset about not being chosen by Eunbi-unnie *laughs*
"Okay now that we're done on that part, let us move on to our next--"
Yiren: Author-nim, can we ask you a question?
"No, okay so let us now--"
Seulgi: Come on old lady *to everyone* Okay, Hotseater for today is Author-nim! feel free to ask her everything! If she got pissed then we'll hit her with our lightsticks.
Lia: Excuse me but we dont have one.
Seulgi: Use your flashlight.
"Hey! I should be the one  who's asking you fags! Your fandom wants to know a lot of things about you!"
Irene: Quit complaining! *ahem* I'll be the first one to ask. Author-nim, how old are you?
"Twenty two, bitch"
Irene: That wasn't my question actually. I am just curious about your age because you look old. My question is, in which descendant do you came from?
"Descendants of the Sun"
*crickets noise*
"I came from Filipino, Chinese, American and Spanish. But i look to filipino-ish and my complexion has become tanner and darker so it wasnt obvious anymore"
Yiren: You're a chinese? I knew you're chinese! So tell me, what's your family name?
"Yiren, it still wasnt your turn to ask. Shut the f up"
Wendy: So you have a chinese blood in you eh? What's your chinese family name?
"Chu"
Minju*shocks* Chu? Like Krisha Chu? As in? You guys are relatives?
"Uhmm.. who is she again?"
Hitomi: Wiz*onerist, confirmed.
"Okay next question!"
*tooot*
Tzuyu: Wait a second , what's that?
Jeongyeon: Author-nim's gone, look!
Joy: I still havent asked author-nim a question.
Yeri: Oh, she made it on purpose so that she'll escape. Not a very finessing move tsk tsk.
*appears like a flash*
"We interrupt this program to air Twice*Zone's "What is Love"
Mina: Hey, we aint prepared for this!
"Get up in the stage now"
Hitomi: Cool escapegoat author-nim *in monotone*
*The TwiceZ*One went to the stage*
Eunbi: A performance? That sudden?
"Up next, Nobody like you by ITZY and Adios by Everglow"
Yeji and EU: WHAT!? And you didn't told us!?
*slaps them with paper*
EU: What's this? *ze checks the paper* Oh an english rendition of Adios, let's review guys!
Mia: Onda, you'll teach me the proper pronunciation of every words, kay?
Yejj: Oh girls! We have one too! an english rendition of Nobody like you!
Lia: Hey let me see!
Ryujin: Make sure the lyrics is as accurate as the korean one. I heard that Old lady only knows how to write cheesy --
*hits her with a lightstick*
Chaeryeong: Is it okay *looking down* I cannot speak english.. i might get ridiculed--
Ryujin and Lia pats her.
Ryujin and Lia: We'll help you!
Eunbi: What about us Author-nim?
Irene: And us too?
"You'll stay there as an audience to fill this performance"
Eunbi *facepalmed* So much embarassment for today *sighs*
Jihyo: Guess it won't be bad to watch your kids and mine *to eunbi*
Chaeyoung: Minna-unnie! You can do it! You too Hii-chan!
Dahyun: Momo-chan! Hii-chan! You can do it!
*inserts the TwiceZ*One are getting tense*
Hitomi: What are we going to do?
"Perform, start moving your legs bitches"
What is love was played on the background as everyone watches them.
Irene: WAIT A SECOND *stops the music* they still haven't made a proper introduction to us yet!
Eunbi: Now that you mentioned it, why are you letting them perform without introducing themselves!? How rude can you be!?
"Don't cry out loud girls.."
Joy: Well, it was supposed to be a crack where all of us are talking shit to each other and making fun of that old hag.
Yeri: You're older than her unnie.
Seulgi: But she'll just flee and frantically start a music session when she's getting tense.
Yena: and she's always like that just to escape everything. We're so used of this old lady.
Mina nervously grabs the mic.
Mina: A-ahh... he-hell-- *accidentally drops the mic that creates a weird noise*
Everyone panic.
"Okay we are cutting this program for awhile. Proceed to the next chapter already, thank you!" *snaps my fingers then vanished*
All of them: AUTHOR-NIM!!!