Kissing in a Dream

Staking a Claim

Time flew by on the weekend faster than I would have liked. I had somehow managed to push my impending doom to the back of my mind and focused on Mongkut. He was tender, sweet, shy. But sometimes he would steal kisses and blushed when I reciprocated.

I'd never felt such genuine emotion from a lover before. I'd never wanted to wait so things could be perfect. Though I knew waiting could be heartbreaking, that my father's mood changed like the wind and I could lose Mongkut, I knew he wanted to wait for our special night together.

At nights, I would speak to Dae via LINE. But when Mongkut was in my arms, all I wanted to do was savour every second. I wanted each moment to be imprinted on my brain.

The soft crescendo of the ocean waves crashing into shore lent an air of perfection around us. In this cottage, we were in a bubble where no bad things happened, and we belonged to each other. I cuddled Mongkut into my arms, and rested my chin atop his head.

"You should be sleeping." Mongkut's voice was soft. "We have to leave soon."

"We don't have a check out time." I replied. "Let me enjoy these last few moments. Then we can take a shower together."

He shifted but didn't get up. He wrapped an arm almost possessively across me and moved even closer to me.

We didn't speak for what felt like an eternity. But I didn't mind. I knew one we went back into the real world, mornings like this would be rare. And before I knew it, I would have to be on a plate, jetting off to save my father from himself.

I wasn't sure why the world worked the way it did. I had given up everything for my father, my very life. Why did I need to hand him my heart too?

It didn't seem fair. And losing Mongkut was going to kill me.

Did I dare fight to be with Mongkut?

We were young and some may say we didn't know what we wanted. But how could the thought of losing Mongkut hurt so desperately if I didn't know what I want?

"You're not okay." Mongkut's voice brought me back to the present.

"What makes you say that?" I kissed his head.

"I've been talking to you for the last five minutes and you didn't so much as grunt." Mongkut sat up to look down into my face.

Helplessly, I reached up to drag a finger down his cheek.

"You're thinking about your father and what you'll have to do."

"Yes." It made no sense lying to him. "Honestly, it scares me. I keep expecting everything to be on fire when I get off the plane. I don't know what else I have in me that I could possibly give to my father. He's taken everything else."

"Where is your mother?" He asked.

"She died when I was about ten." I replied. "I'm afraid I'll forget her. There was a time when her perfume would be so strong inside my head. Sometimes, it was like she was standing beside me or we were in her room, and I would be sitting on her bed as she sprayed her perfume in the air and walked through the mist. Then I'll open my eyes and she wasn't there. But it was vivid inside my mind. Now, I can't even remember it. Sometimes when the wind blows, I could swear I smell it, but I can't be sure."

Mongkut framed a side of my face and rested a tender hand on my bare chest.

"I have to look at pictures now to remember her face. Now, I have to close my eyes really tightly and focus to bring her image back. I don't want to forget her, Chang Noi. I can't."

"How can I help?" Mongkut asked.

When I looked at him and smiled, Mongkut leaned over and pressed his mouth to mine. He kissed me shyly until I deepened the kiss. He moaned and pulled away,

"I need to take a shower." He scrambled from the bed and darted for the bathroom.

"I thought we were going to shower together!" I teased knowing full well what the issue was. "It's morning wood, Chang Noi. I promise you, it's normal."

"No, it's not! It only happened when you kissed me."

"Are you trying to tell me, my kiss turns you on?" I smirked.

"Shut up!"

I laughed. He had a way of pulling me out of my darkness and placing me in the light.

I jerked upright in bed, the thought charging through my head like a stampede of wild horses. For a moment, all I did was blink, wondering if I dared say those words out loud.

My father was not going to be happy I was with Mongkut for many reasons—Mongkut was poor, he was an orphan and he was a male.

But it was becoming more and more clear I wouldn't let my father stop me from claiming Mongkut as my own. I couldn't.

Chang Noi was my good luck charm.

He was the angel who carved the ice from around my heart and showed me what it was like to stand in the sun. When he touched my face, it was like the heat of the sun flowing through me to every part of my being. I selfishly wanted to hold on to him, to protect him with my very soul.

I needed to be strong, the kind of man Mongkut could claim as his very own. I wanted to deserve this man.

"P?"

He touched my shoulder and I looked around and smiled at him. His hair was wet and ripples of water slid down his chest. Unable to stop myself, I leaned over and licked a droplet from between his peck to the tip of his chin.

"P!" He swatted my shoulder. "Stop that. Shower."

"You're going to make me wait until our special night together, aren't you?" I asked.

He nodded.

I groaned my dissatisfaction with that answer but knew there was a reason for this. "Tell me something—the day you finally allow me to eat – you want it to be special, right?"

He hung his head but not before I noticed the way his cheeks pinkened.

I nodded, kissed his ear and climbed off the bed. Just before entering the bathroom, I stopped and looked back over my shoulder. "I'll one day deserve you, you know that, right?"

Mongkut nodded again.

"I'll disappoint you. And you'll want to leave me, but all I ask is that you don't give up on me."

He smiled. "Giving up on you would be like asking my heart to stop beating."

I gasped. For his words left me speechless.

Quickly, I hurried back to the bed and kissed him until his arms tangled around my back pulling me down to him. I didn't give in. I knew he was saving himself until we could have our time together and I didn't want to ruin that for him.

"I know you want to wait." I whispered, dragging my lips up the side of his face. "And I want to do this the way you'd like. I'll go shower now."

"Okay-khrap." Mongkut's voice cracked.