Kissing in a Dream

What Remains

I sat by my father's bedside and stared at his face. It didn't give away to any of the evils he'd done. I wasn't sure what his punishment should be in this life or the next. What should the punishment be for a man who gunned down his wife and tortured his son? What about the other's he'd ruined?

Boon?

I didn't know if talking to him about any of it was worth it or if I wanted to rehash any of it. But my nightmares had changed. I kept seeing the haunted look in Boon's eyes, the shake in his hand as he lifted his cigarette to his lips. It was almost as if he'd completely lost track of reality.

But had he?

My father opened his eyes and turned his head to look at me. Anger filled his gaze and I braced myself. It shook me to see the hatred that spewed my way. Instead of speaking, he rolled over to face the other side and I took my chances.

"I know what you've done." I told him slowly. "I know about him..."

"You have no right to judge me!" He rolled back to glare at me. "You love a man."

"That's not what I'm judging you for." I growled. "I'm judging you for being a coward. I'm judging for taking my mother away. I'm judging you for not being man enough to stand up for yourself, so you tortured those you were supposed to love."

I drew my chair closer. "I pray, that when you finally get locked in your own mind, that you don't forget--that you never forget. That every time you close your eyes to sleep, you'll see our faces. You'll see my mother, and Boon and all those families you've left missing someone. I pray, you don't get a moment's peace, because the rest of us who are left behind, can't find peace."

"No! Don't curse me."

I shook my head. "I'm not cursing you, Pa. I'm giving you the same respect and empathy, you've shown us. Your darkness ends with me."

"You can't..."

"Yes, I can."

I rose and tugged my coat in place. When I turned for the door, each step took another piece of the weight off my shoulder.

"Wolf!" He called. "You can't leave me here! I am your father!"

Another few steps and I felt lighter.

"Gamon!" He used my legal name and I froze.

Gamon. 

It was almost foreign to me. Hearing it made me feel as if I was outside myself, floating over the wolf I'd been called for so long.

"Don't leave like this!" He hollered. "Forgive me!"

Soon, my father would forget the evils he'd done. 

This moment of anger and pain from him would have to suffice. This one shred of revenge would have to hold me over for the rest of my life. The doctors told me that soon, he won't remember anything—not my mother, not me, not Boon. He won't remember the people's land he'd stolen from under them then forced them to pay exuberant rent prices.

I had ways of setting things right.

After a quick lunch with Dae at the airport so he could get on his flight home, I headed back to my father's office for a meeting with Tar and the other three Dons in my father's alliance. I stood by the window and looked out at the slowly fading day, wondering if I could ever live a normal life.

"I've called you here because I am now in charge." I spoke without looking back. I could sense their dismay. "My father is ill and is slowly losing his memory as the day goes by. The three of you oversee three of my father's different areas. This meeting is to give you the chance to buy your zones. If you refuse to buy your zone and someone else show interest in buying it, I will sell it to them and you will then answer to whoever buys your zone. Do I make myself clear?"