Watching Beetlejuice: The Musical

The Whole "Being Dead" Thing (part 1)

Beetlejuice:
Hey, folks! Begging your pardon
'Scuse me, sorry to barge in
Now let's skip the tears and start on the whole
Y'know
Being dead thing

'Being dead thing?' asked Adam and Barbara looking at Beetlejuice 

'I think its catchy' he said, grinning at them 

You're doomed, enjoy the singing
The sword of Damocles is swinging
And if I hear your cell-phone ringing
I'll kill you myself
The whole being dead thing

'I'm gonna learn this song' announced Beetlejuice 

'Please don't' said Delia but Beetlejuice was already bobbing his head in time to the music and ignoring her

Death can get a person stressed
We should have carpe'd way more diems
Now we're never gonna see 'em
I can show you what comes next
So don't be freaked
Stay in your seats
I do this bullshit, like, eight times a week

'Language' muttered Adam and Barbara sighed adoringly at her husband. Lydia smiled at the Maitlands and put an arm around each of them, pulling them closer to her.

So just relax, you'll be fine
Drink your fifty-dollar wine
And take a breath. Welcome to a show about death. 

'There's a ukulele now?' asked Delia

You're
You're gonna be fine
On the other side
DIE! YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE! YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

'Uh, bit harsh?' asked Charles

'No, I like it' said Beetlejuice grinning

'Smashing a ukulele?' said Lydia 'Very Beetlejuice, its honestly exactly like you' 

I'll...
I'll be your guide
To the other side

'How many ukulele's would they go through each show?' asked Barbara

'They probably have a way to out them back together' said Adam and Barbara nodded.

Though in full disclosure: It's a show about death.

'So, who's actually dead in this show?' asked Charles

'Well there's mum, Barbara, Adam, Beetlejuice, Juno, Miss Argentina and all the other people from the Netherworld' said Lydia

Everybody gets on fine here
Like Rodgers, Hart, and Hammerstein here
The women's bathroom has no line here
Just. Pee where you want
The whole being dead thing

'Eww' said Delia. Barbara nodded in agreement but Lydia just laughed

You're just gonna love the folks here
Yeah, I know you're woke, but you can take a joke here
And every show I do, like, a ton of coke here - The whole-
The whole being dead thing! 

'That explains a lot' mumbled Barbara and Lydia let out a shriek of laughter. Everyone looked at her strangely but she just kept laughing.

Nobody is bullet-proof
"I work out, I eat clean!"
Jesus, pass the Dramamine
Time to face the brutal truth
'Cause we're all on a hitlist
Might not live 'till Christmas
Choke to death on Triscuits
Hey, that just statistics
So take a little break here
Kinda like a wake here
The scenery is fake here
BUT THERE'S A GIANT SNAKE HERE

'Thats wicked' said Lydia. She looked over at her dad 'Dad, can I have one?'

'No Lydia' said Charles firmly. Lydia pouted and crossed her arms

Welcome to a show about death. You're... you're gonna be fine
THANK YOU!
On the other side
HOW YOU DOIN'?
Not good?

'Well they are at a funeral' said Delia 'what do you expect?'

I'll... I'll be your guide
To the other side
Seriously, though, this is a show about. Death is taboo, but it's hardly something new
There's nothing medical professionals can do
'Cept maybe just bill you. If you die while listening to this album
It's still gonna keep playing. 

'Oh god, can you imagine?' Adam asked Barbara. Barbara laughed and shook her head.

There's no destiny or fate
Just a terrifying wait
Filled with people that you hate
And on a certain date, the universe kills you. That's the thing with life
No-one makes it out alive

'Oh... my... gosh' said Delia slowly 'that makes so much sense, its kinds blowing my mind'

Toss that body in the pit
"Gosh, it's awful, ain't it tragic?"
"Blah, blah, Bible. Jesus magic."
When you're dead, who gives a shit?
No pilates, no more yoga
"Namaste", you freakin' posers. 

'Thats a bit harsh' muttered Barbara

From the cradle to cremation
Death just needs a little conversation
I have mastered the art (Dies Irae!!)
Of tearing convention apart (Dies Irae!) So, how about we all make a start (Dies Irae!)
On the whole being dead thing. God, I hope you're ready for a show about death

'Thats such a good song' exclaimed Beetlejuice 'That guy playing me is amazing'

'Its actually a really good musical' said Delia 'I mean the costuming and dancing and set is amazing'

'I'm hungry, is there food?' asked Lydia, getting up. She stood up and looked around the room 'Ah ha!' she grabbed the 2 bowls of popcorn and handed one to her father and Delia, and kept the other to herself. She sat back down in the seat she was originally sitting in and started eating. 

~AN: This one's a little better than the last one. Sorry these are so bad, they will get better I promise, I just need to get the feel of this writing style because its completely new to me. Thanks for sticking with me! ~