Watching Beetlejuice: The Musical

What I Know Now

Miss Argentina (sung):
I was hot
I went to parties a lot

'Thats the person who plays Delia!' said Sky and Beetlejuice, pointing to the Miss Argentina on the screen 

'So, is that why you two look similar is real life?' asked Charles, looking from his fiance to the dead beauty queen, who both shrugged 

(spoken)
Y'know?
(sung)
I was driving Lamborghinis
Sipping super-dry martinis
In the tiniest bikinis on a yacht

'This is a weird song' said Beetlejuice 'But I kinda like it'

But I was depressed
Also completely obsessed
An unhappy beauty queen
Who dreamed to be Miss Argentina
I had such low self-esteem
I was a mess

'Story of my life' muttered Miss Argentina 

So I gave it all up for the netherworld
I've been here forever, girl
If I was more clever, girl
I would've stuck it out
Knowing what life's about

'Wait, so was it Miss Argentina who welcomed you to the Netherworld?' asked Lydia, looking at her mother 

'Yes' said Emily 'Thats how I know her, she's really nice, but I didn't get a full on dance number'

'Maybe thats because you were actually dead' said Lydia 'and not a "breather" as I was called' 

Pain and joy and suffering
Failing but recovering
I'll tell you another thing
Everyone here is alone
So if you are breathing
Go home!

'Damn, this woman can sing' said Beetlejuice 'also, that was a really quick change, from, Delila to Miss Argentina'

'It was actually, wasn't it' said Delia, ignoring Beetlejuice stuffing up her name again 'And yet she doesn't look stressed at all, thats what you call talent'

If I knew then
What I know now
I would have looked within and let love in somehow
If I only knew
The truth back then
I wouldn't have had my little accident

Miss Argentina tried to cover up her wrists, but Delia had already looked at them. The life coach looked sadly at the beauty queen, and put a comforting hand on her leg.

Don't be blind
You left your whole life behind
See a shrink
Call a priest
Ask the recently deceased
Death is final and you cannot press rewind

'Thats the sad truth' said Emily. Barbara, Adam, Beetlejuice and Miss Argentina nodded. Lydia looked around and realised that there were more dead people in the room than living. Wow, this is a show about death! With that thought, she snuggled a little closer into her mothers embrace, and enjoyed the feeling of being to be hugged by her again

Sky Diver:
Don't jump when the light is red

'Ahh, now we see more dead people' said Beetlejuice, kicking his legs back and leaning against the wall of his fort, only to fall through the blanket and hit his head on the floor 'Fuck, that hurt' he exclaimed 

'Language' said Adam and Barbara simultaneously, before looking at each other and bursting out laughing

Lady:
Toasters should be used for bread

'Hey Lyds, wanna play with toasters when we get home?' asked Beetlejuice 

'Yes!' said Lydia 

Man:
Never smoke cigars in bed