The Fox and The Wolf - Book One {Sterek}

Chapter 20: A Mess

My head snapped up when I heard sound of Stiles's piece of crap Jeep pull up to the loft. I smiled at the prospect of getting to see him so early in the evening. I had assumed he would wait for me to show up at his house tonight. This was a pleasant surprise. Or so I thought, until I saw the look on his face. He had the look of frustration and maybe even self loathing, and he was giving off the scent of anxiety. I jumped up from where I sat and rushed over to him.

"What's wrong?" I asked with concern in my voice.

"You! You- you had to say all that stuff didn't you? And now..." he was pacing back and forth in front of me, his movements were agitated as he switched between rubbing the back of his neck and pulling at his hair. "AND NOW, all I can frickin think about is you. And being with you, and making you happy like this morning. And this wasn't supposed to happen so soon, I was supposed to have more time... more time to-," he stopped and turned as Isaac came in the door.

"To figure out a way to turn me down?" Isaac finished bitterly. He had his eyes on the floor, but we could smell how he was feeling. Hurt, rejection, and... panic?

Stiles face fell, and he looked like he might cry, or scream. He moved towards Isaac, but he just pushed past him and ran upstairs. Stiles hands fell back to his sides, crestfallen. I smelled regret and more anxiety, way more. This time I moved, trying to gather him in my arms for comfort. But he pushed me away quickly, not meeting my eyes. He marched out the door and left without a word, leaving me with an internal wound in my chest. I sucked in a quick breath at the pain but tried to ignore it as I approached Isaac's room. I knocked on the door quietly, but didn't get an answer. I could hear his heart beating quickly, and I knew he was still in there.

I pushed the door open and addressed him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He glared at me with tears in his eyes that hadn't fallen yet. "No," he answered.

"Isaac. I can smell the panic. Why are you panicking?" I asked in confusion.

He didn't answer me, just glared at the wall. "Fine," I spat, and stomped to my own room, flopping on the bed. I laid on the bed and waited for the smell of panic to subside. 30 minutes. 45. An hour. But it was only growing. At an hour and a half I went back to Isaacs door and just stood there, leaning against the frame and watching him. It took several minutes, but he finally broke the silence.

"Does this mean I'm going to lose him?" He whispered brokenly.

"What do you mean, lose him?" I asked.

"He makes me feel whole, Derek. Like I can be myself, and be proud of who am I. He doesn't look at me like I'm broken," he explained sadly. "I don't know if I can survive losing him. I just lost Allison. I can't lose him too."

I felt my heart twist at his words. This is a very big deal. "Then don't," I said simply. "If he means that much to you, don't lose him. Go and talk to him."

"Now!" I barked, when he didn't move. He sprang up and ran out the door, probably running all the way to the Stilinski house.

I sat down on his bed and sighed. Stiles is too good for me. He shouldn't have chosen me. He's just... good. Caring, empathetic, thoughtful. Good. He deserved better. He deserved someone like Isaac. Who am I to get in the way of that? Isaac's dad destroyed him. When I changed him, he began to change too, in his fathers absence. He had come out of his shell, but it was a slow process. I had taken up the role of father figure, and it didn't bother me much. He's a good kid. But hearing him so hurt and panicked... he's right. He can't lose Stiles. If giving him up meant Isaac could survive, could stay unbroken... I could survive it. I had been living without being with Stiles for years now, despite my feelings. I could go back to that. I would be okay.