Sidnaaz an emotion

Chapter 55

Sana went from there crying and lie down on bed covering herself fully she was feeling so dishearten how could anyone say that you will get divorced is it so simple this relation means a lot to her due to sid's love she could able to came out of depression she started living her life again that was due to him only he brought  a new ray of hope in her life when she just wanted to end her life .

Life was never easy for her first her childhood then her struggle to became a model she face many challenges alone  but time also comes when your hope your trust in yourself all started to  get destroyed she has fallen many times but each time rises with more power but till when one day when you have no one besides you , you started to loose hope that's what happen with her .

The controversy left a huge impact on her it's not because she looses many big opportunities because of that or no one supported her but when people started to say that because of her ,her family had to face so much she felt like someone take her soul at that moment she can never do that .It was true she left her family for her dreams but she never did something which could harm her family reputation or her family have to face humiliation because of her.

She came back with her family without saying a word when her father ask her to come home she started to find small projects there but something inside her started to kill her that lead her to depression so much that once she tried to take her life but when her family rescues her and she saw their crying faces dhe gave up that thought too.

 when sid came into her life when she  lost all hopes of living a normal life he gave her a fairy tale life gave her so much love heal her with his care adore her like she is a princess indeed his princess now when she is habitual to all this she can' t leave him she will die .

She remember when she first time told her about her suicide attempt how he reacted to that .

Flashback :

Sana and Sid use to talk to each other after their meeting at sana home(before marriage if you don't remember read previous chapters ) .

Once they were talking Sid told her about his friend who did suicide (pratyusha )  he told her that he misses her and wish if he would be able to  be other when she needed someone badly .

Sid- haa bohot bura lagta hai jab aapka koi apna aise chala jaata hai i really wish wo ek baar baat karti mujhse .

Sana- jab aap ander se toot jaate hai tab kuch samjh nahi aata kuch sahi galat nahi lagta sabke liye aap kayar hote ho par uss waqt humesha ke liye apno ko chod kar jaana aasan nahi hota par jab aapko kuch samjh na aaye kuch saaf saaf nazar na aaye kuch samjh na aaye to insaan majboor ho jaat ahia wo kadam uthane ko uske liye wo best optin hota hai kyuki kuch aur option hota hi nahi hai .

Sid- I am feeling scared with your thoughts tum theek ho na .

Sana- nahi mai thk hoon ek baar kar chuki hoon try ab nahi karungi .

Sid- try kar chuki ho matlab you attempted suicide?

Sana- haa daadi ne btaya nahi aap logo ko .

Sid- nahi tumne sach mein suicide attempt ki hai?

Sana- haa ek baar ki hai jab kuch samjh nahi aaya laga meri wajah se sab ghar wale pareshaan hai unhe meri wajah se bohot problem hui to socha ek baari mein hi saari problem khatam kar doon par bach gayi aur jab ghar walo ko uth kar rote dekha to socha aage se nahi karungi kabhi .

 Sid- Sana i know tunme bohot kuch face kia hai life mein bohot choti si age mein bohot kuch dekha hai handle kia hai par tum ye nahi sochogi aage se mai nahin jaanta future mein kya hoga par kabhi tumhe aisa khyaal bhi aye to mere paas aana ya mujhe call karna mai chahe kitna bhi busy hoon baat karunga agar tab nahi kia to thodi der baad par karunga zaroor aur yaad rakhna mai tumse bohot pyaar karta hoon mai nahi bardasht kar paunga nahi reh paunga tumhare bina .

Sana- nahi karungi .

Sid- meri kasam ?

Sana- haa aapki kasam .

They talk for some time then slept .

In morning shebaaz came to wake sana .

Shebaaz- uth moto kab tak soyegi .

Sana- kya hai baaz subha ke 6 baj rahe hai kyu utha raha hai aur aaj tu kaise uth gaya itni jaldi .

Shebaaz- ye baatein baad mein tu pehle uth fresh ho kar neeche aa sid aaya hai tujhse milne .

Sana- kya bakwas kar raha hai sid mumbai se itni subha subha kyu aayega raat hi to baat hui tab to kuch nahi bola tha .

Shehbaaz- wo khud hi puch lena jaldi aa neeche .

Sana came after taking bath and saw sid was sitting with her grand father she greets him .

Dada g- aa gai puttar jaa sid puttar tujhe kahi le jaana chahta hai jaa .

Sana nodded and went with him .

Sana- raat nahi btaya aapne ki aap aane wale hai .

Sid- wo mujhse raha nahi gaya kal tumse baat karne ke baad isliye jo flight mili usse aa gaya .

Sana- par aapko aane ki jaroorat nahi thi mai aaj suicide nahi kar rahi hoon .

Sid pulls her towards himself - aaj ke baad suicide ka sochna bhi mat bohot bura lagta hai mujhe ye word .

Sana nodded .

Sid take her to gurudwara  sahib - tumhe in par bohot vishwas hai na bohot maanti ho na inhe .

Sana- haa waheguru se upar to kuch nahi hai .

Sid - isilye yaha laya hoon tumhe aaj inke saamne mujhse promise karna hai ki tun dubara suicide nahi karogi agar aisa aata bhi hai dimaag mein to mujhse baat karogi sabse pehle .

Sana- par...thk hai promise mai sabse pehle aapse baat karungi aap sirf iss baat ke liye waha se yaha aaye .

Sid- maine bola na mai tumse bohot pyaar karta hoon tum meri life ka bohot important hissa ho mai kisi kimat par tumhe khona nahi chahta hoon tumhe bohot khushiya dena chahta hoon taaki tum aisa dubara kabhi na socho kabhi aissa khayaal bhi na aaye .

Sana smiles and tightly hug him it was their first official hug sif felt happy but he felt her shirt get wet he cups her face there were tears in her eyes .

Sid- kya hua .

Sana- bohot dino baad kisi ke saath itna secure feel ho rha hai apnapan feel ho raha hai .

Sid- ab aisa humesha feel hoga aadat daal lo.

Flashback ends:

Sid came to her and take off her quilt .

Sid- baby le tune subha se kuch nahi khaya hai ye juice aur fruits le le .

Sana didn't said anything just hug him tight and started crying .

Sid feels change in the hug as it was more like she needed at that moment just like they hugged at gurudwara in punjab.

Sid- baby meri taraf dekh kya hua wo aarti ki baat mat sun wo bakwas karti hai .

Sana started crying more sid panics as her health is not upto the mark and now she is crying so hard .

Sid - baby aur kuch baat hai kya .

Sana didn't said anything just get more close ti him and hug him like her life dependent on him sid knows something is definitely wrong with her that's why she is crying like this he tried to look at her face but she didn't budge from her place but just crying .

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