Sidnaaz an emotion

Chapter 57

Sid was hugging her and again and again kissing her forehead as like making himself believe that she is safe and sound with him what he was feeling he can't describe he was feeling extremely angry for what Rashmi speak to her like what the hell who gave her permission to say such words to her and what she want to do by saying all this to her , he always felt that he didn't accept her feelings that's why she always behave  so rude with him she tried to destroy his career his reputation spread false rumors but he kept mum as he didn't want to get into the dirty way of handling things so he always ignored her, even if she had grudge then show it on him why on her she met sana here only she had not done anything so that she hate sana of course what she said to sana it clearly shows that she hates sana but why sana  is a pure soul she can't hurt anyone she is harmless but rashmi doing this means she hate her .

But he have to handle it later first he need to calm sana he need to make sure she is fine  his first priority is her ,  today she again had panic attack he was feeling so helpless after so many months she had panic attack  after her recovery he thought that now he will never face such situation but for safety he always carry her pills with himself but he never would have thought in his dreams that she will have one that too in this house when he was just besides her he failed to protect her he feel so angry on himself that people from his life are hurting her like this .

When she said that she will kill herself he was numb no she can't she will not do that to him did he failed to give her assurance that he will not leave her at any cost how this thought cross her mind did he just failed as  a husband as a brother-in-law as a son-in-law as he promised her family that he will protect her he failed his mother as she asked promise from him to protect sana  .He failed.

He was feeling like he was going through a roller coaster ride of emotions inside him but he need to handle her first .

Sid held her face in his palms like she is a delicate glass doll and can break if he didn't handle it rightly - baby tu mere liye bohot important hai jeene ke liye jaise saans ki jaroorat hoti hai utni jaroori hai tu mujhe tu meri life ka hissa nahi hai meri life hai tu jo mere liye hai mai bta bhi nahi sakta to mai tujhe kaise chod sakta hoon  mai aisa soch bhi nahi sakta .

Sana- mai jaanti hoon pr us waqt samajh nahi aaya sorry .

Sid- nahi tu kyu sorry bol rahi hai jaan maine hi tujhe shayad sahi se teri ahemiyat nahi btayi apni life mein jo tu itna insecure ho gayi mai maanta hoon mai nahi bolta jyada nahi jtata hoon apr tere bina mai kuch bhi nhi hoon ye kuch din tu nahi thi na jeena mushkil ho gaya tha mera saans nahi le paa raha tha ghutan hoti hai tere bina sirf iss ghar mein nahi kahin bhi .

Tu sab kuch hai mera mai nahi reh sakta tere bina jitni tujhe meri jaroorat hai usse kai guna mujhe teri jaroorat hai mai nahi jaanta mai tujhe kaise yakeen dilau kaise batua kya hai tu meri mujhe nahi aa raha samjh his voice chocked saying so and he started crying in her arms.

Sana - baby tu chup ho jaa please mat ro mujhe pta hai mai tere liye bohot important hoon please tu chup ho jaa .

Sid- pta hai to kyu bola ki khud ko maar dalegi mera kya hoga socha hai mai kaise jiyunga mai reh lunga soch kar bhi darr lagta hai aur tune itni aasani se bl dia bta mai kya samjhu isse .

Sana- nahi nahi wo uss waqt kuch samjh nahi aa raha tha .

Sid- tu gid gida rahi thi ki mai tujhe na chodu mujhe bol rahi thi bta mai kaise chod sakta hoon tujhe mujhe laga kisi ne mera dil nikal liye ho jab tune wo bola kaise mai bardasht karu abhi bhi wo words ghum rahe hai mere dimaag mein mai wo kaise nikalu mujhe ab yehi darr rahega na tu phir wo na kar le jo tu try kar chuki hai jabki iss baar mai tere paas hoon phir bhi kya fayda mere hone ya na hone se .

Sana- nahi please tu aisa na bol tu hai to mai hoon tu aise mat bol sorry maine wo bola maaf karde mai nahi bolungi aage se please tu mat bol aisa tu hai jabhi to hoon na mai bhi .

Sid- tu dubara aisa bolegi mujhe chod kar jaane ki baat karegi?

Sana- nahi kabhi nahi promise kabhi nahi karungi and both hug each other.

Sid- mai bohot darr gaya tha tujhe waisi halat mein dekh kar maine socha bhi nahi tha ki dubara kabhi tujhe aise dekhna padega dimaag sunn pad gaya tha tu sun nahi rahi thi .

Sana- sorry bebu maine aise kia meri wajah se tujhe itni problem bhi hui .

Sid- baby problem nahi hui mujhe dujh hua ki mai tujhe protect nahi kar paya aaj maine tujhe wo pills di jo maine kabhi nahi socha tha ki tujhe wo leni padegi aisa laga tu wapas wahi jaa rahi hai depression mein mai nahi seh paunga wo sab .

Sana - nahi mai thk hoon ab tu jyada tension na le mai sahi mein thk hoon .

Sid- baby mai hoon tere saath humesha mai kahi nahi jaa raha na hi tujhe jaane dunga ye darr nikal de tu apne ander se aur haa koi kuch bhi bole mujhe faek nahi padta aur tu bhi unki baato par dhyaan mat diya kar logo ka kaam hai bhaukna aur aaj jo bhi aarti aur rashmi ne bola wo kabhi nahi ho sakta humari families hai humare sssth agar koi problem aai bhi to wo hai aur sabse pehle hum hai ek dusre ke saath .

Sana- haa hum hai ek dusre ke saath koi nahi jaanta tu aur mai kya hai ghar ke bahar maine over react kar diya sorry .

Sid- nahi jaan ye un dono ne kiya hai mai chodunga nahi unhe jaan kar kiya hai tujhe hurt karne ke liye mai jaanta hoon rashmi ko par aarti ka nahi pta tha ki wo aisa kuch bhi kar sakti hai .

Sana- chod bebu jaane de .

Sid- nahi aise kaise aaj jo hua hai wo dubara nahi hona chaiye ye bhi to dhyaan rajkna hai  .

Sana- nahi tu gussa nahi karega please tu kuch nahi bolega please jo ho gaya jaane de.

Sid- nahi unki himmat jaise hui meri life hai mai chahe jo karu wo hote kon hai .

Sana- tujhe meri kasam please kuch nahi karega tu shaant reh.

Sid- sana.. thk hai mai abhi kuch nahi bolunga par agar un hone kuch kia to mai chup nahi rahunga aur tu kuch nahi bolegi na hi mujhe rokegi.

Sana- haa thk hai .

Sid kissed her forehead - teri achai humesha bhaari padti hai .

Sana- kuch nahi hota bebu mera muh kadwa ho rakha hai .

Sid- haa wo pill ko aise hi diya tha na sahi se paani bhi nahi piya tune isliye chal fruits kha le thk lagega mai juice dusra le kar aata hoon .

Sana- nahi yahi reh mujhe kuch nahi chaiye .

Sid- mai yahi hoon acha chal fruits khale .

Sana- mann nahi hai mera.

Sid - subha se kuch nahi khaya hai aur medicine bhi leni hai chup chap khao abhi.

He made her eat some fruits .

Sid- baby agar tu chahe hum abhi show chod sakte hai agar tujhe yaha comfortable feel nahi ho raha hai to.

Sana- nahi n ahi mai ab thk hoon.

Sid- pakka na .

Sana- haa haa tu jyada na soch.

Sid- par yaha se jaane ke baad hum tere purane doctor ke paas jaroor jayenge aur mujhe iss par koi baat nahi karni hai .

sana nodded her head then both lay down feeling each other presence .

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