Addicted

Can I Trust You With My Heart?

Angie's POV:

Raw was pretty boring tonight actually...until Dean did commentary. I loved his voice. Just hearing him talk made my heart flutter. I closed my eyes and listened to him talk for a minute. I smiled to myself and opened my eyes to see April watching me.  My eyes bugged out and I half smiled

"Angieeee come on really?"

"April please. You don't understand. I really like him. I know you said he's a jerk, but he's really been nothing but sweet to me and I can't help it."

She sighed in annoyance and motioned for me to follow her. I didn't move at first but reluctantly followed

"Come on. I'll help you get ready for your date."

I grinned from ear to ear and ran and jumped on her and hugged her. She laughed and we went back to the locker room to go through my stuff and see what I could wear. I had several outfits to choose from but we didn't know exactly where he was taking me. She called Kaitlyn and asked if she knew. Only because Kaitlyn and Dean were sorta friends and he had already told her about the date so maybe she could direct me in how to dress.

"Just wear this."

She held up a long sleeve black and white shirt and black skirt. It seemed a little too dressy to me, but she insisted

"Seriously Ang who cares if it's too dressy? Even if you go to McDonalds you'll still look fabulous. And then he can get all possessive of other guys who are checking you out because you are totally gorgeous."

I made a face and pretended to gag and she giggled. I wish I had half of the energy that she did. I went and changed into my outfit and she dragged me into the bathroom to fix my make up and hair

"See...gorgeous."

I rolled my eyes but accepted the compliment "Thank you. Thank you for your help."

Kaitlyn poked her head in the bathroom door and smiled

"Well, you look very pretty. Someone is waiting for you outside. He sent me in to get you."

I headed towards the door and stopped. I looked back at April hoping she was going to stop me. She smiled and was shooing me out the door. I took a deep breath and let it out as I opened the door. I stepped out and lowered my gaze. I was so nervous. I'd never been on a REAL date before...dates to the high school homecoming don't count. What if I run out of things to talk about!? What if I say something wrong or do something wrong? What if... The smell of freshly smoked cigarettes and peppermint gum broke my thoughts and I slowly looked up and smiled. He stepped towards me and my heart about leapt out of my chest as he took my hands and smiled.

"You look very nice"

I blushed and looked down "Thanks. So do you"

He did. It wasn't a lie. He was wearing a blue button down shirt and black pants. I didn't feel as over dressed as I thought I was going to. He laced his fingers with mine and lightly tugged for me to follow him. I looked down at my hand and then back up at him. He let go and put his hands in his pockets

"I'm sorry. I forgot. First date. Moving a little too fast."

I tugged at his arm and he pulled his hand out of his pocket. I took his hand and looked up at him and smiled

"I don't mind."

I stepped towards him and got on my tip toes and kissed his cheek. I was short and even in heels I had to be on my tip toes to kiss him. He smiled and we walked out to his rental car. I was terrified and nervous and completely conflicted in my mind. I was infatuated with him and he gave me butterflies like no one. But there was a part of me that had what the girls had been telling me for weeks...he's no good, he's a jerk, he only wants you for sex...it was hard not to think about that. I didn't exactly have the greatest example growing up of what real love looked like so I didn't know. I looked over at him as he concentrated on his driving. He looked over at me quickly and smiled and turned his attention back on the road. I felt like the silence was awkward so I decided to try to break the ice a bit

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why me? I'm no one special. There are at least a dozen other divas in that locker room you can pursue. I just..."

"Why you? Why not?"

"Because I'm just me...I'm ordinary and not beautiful like the others. I don't stand out. There's nothing special about me. I'm just me"

I could see his jaw tense up. I'd already screwed up. I said something wrong and this was the end. I knew this was going to happen. I wasn't hungry anymore. I was embarrassed and felt stupid. I looked around out the window and noticed we weren't going to dinner. I could hear my heart pounding in my chest. This was never going to be about dinner. This was always about one thing and it's the one thing I wasn't willing to give to him. He stopped the car at what looked like an empty trail. He got out and walked over to my side of the car and opened the door. I just sat there wanting to cry. I looked up and he smiled

"Angie. I didn't bring you out here to rape and murder you and leave your dead body in a ditch by the freeway. Come on you can trust me. I promise"

I reluctantly got out of the car and he took my hand and lead me to the front to lean on the hood of the car. He lit up a cigarette and calmly smoked it as I sat there.  He finished it off and stomped out the butt end and stood in front of me

"I know the girls in the locker room have told you a lot of things about me. Some of it is true, but a lot of it is exhaggeration. I don't think I'm a dick or an asshole. Have I ever given you any reason to think otherwise?"

I shook my head "Can I trust you?"

He stepped towards me and just looked at me. It was like he was studying me and I hated it. I didn't like being stared at. He reached his hand towards my face and I backed away

"You can trust me Angie."

I could tell he meant it. I didn't understand what the other girls were talking about. He's been nothing but sweet to me. A bit of a tease earlier this afternoon, but then again I was teasing too. I leaned forward and kissed him. It was so hard for me to resist him. He took over the kiss and we were right back where we started from this afternoon. I heard my phone chime in the car and I pulled away. I don't get many phone calls and the only person who ever calls me was Janelle, my little sister.

Dean/Jon's POV:

Damn this girl! I groaned as she pulled away again only this time to answer the phone.

"Wait a minute Janelle. What? I can't come get you. I can't. I'm sorry Janelle I'm in Pittsburg. Lock yourself in your room and hide in the closet. I know...I know...Try to sneak out and go next door. I wish I could help you. I hate leaving you alone there, but I'm not in position to do anything...."

She closed her eyes and flinched at whatever was happening on the other end. It sounded very serious whatever it was. I was starting to wonder if this was the whole reason she is the way she is.

"Janelle...I'm so sorry. Please just find a way to go next door. Well, tell them not to call the police. Just tell them you're scared and need a place to stay for a few hours. No, don't let them call the police. I promise you they will help you. I know because they've helped me in the past. Just do it Janelle. Please. Ok?"

She hung up the phone and came back over towards where I was standing. She sighed and looked up at me and half smiled. I don't even know if I'd call it a smile, but she was trying to fake it. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. I saw her bottom lip start to tremble and I knew she was trying not to cry. I pulled her to me and held her in my arms

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I'm ruining the date"

"No. No, you're not. It's OK. Do you want to talk about it?"