Addicted

Since We're Being Honest

I closed the door to the cab and stared at the front of the house. I was afraid to go in my own house out of fear of having to face my own wife. I stood on the porch and nervously smoked a cigarette. I knew it was going to be hard for me to look at her without thinking of the shitty thing I did tonight. I tried to keep what April said in mind, but it was hard. I finished off the cigarette and stood there for a few minutes trying to come up with a million excuses for what happened. I sighed deeply and went inside. I heard the TV on in the bedroom so I figured Angie was still awake. I made my way down the hall and made my way to the bedroom. I found Angie asleep in my old Shield hoodie and holding my pillow. I smiled and shook my head. It was the new thing she started doing when I was away. It made her "feel like I was there with her". I turned off the TV and put my stuff in the closet. I sat on the bed next to her and moved a strand of hair from her face. She was so beautiful and looked so peaceful and I was such an idiot. I gently shook her awake so I could have my pillow back. I was tired and I wanted to sleep.

"Hey." I smiled

"Hi. When did you get here?"

"Just now. How are you feeling?"

She smiled and handed me back my pillow and went to her side of the bed

"Jon, just say give me back my pillow"

I couldn't help but laugh a little "Aw come on Angie. I do want to know how you're feeling, but yes I did want my pillow back too. Don't be mad at me"

I crawled over to her side and put my arms around her and kissed her cheek.

"I love you Angie"

She turned and smiled. "I love you too."

Angie's POV

I cuddled closer and caught the smell of a perfume that wasn't mine. If I wasn't pregnant and able to smell practically everything from a mile away I would never have noticed it

"Jon, have you been hugging someone?"

"Huh?"

"You have perfume on you that isn't mine. It's Danielle's disgusting Chanel perfume. I'd know it anywhere. It used to make me gag when I wasn't pregnant. It smells worse now. Why is it on you?"

He looked down and avoided looking at me. He was hiding something from me. I wasn't stupid and I was getting angry. He promised me. PROMISED that he was going to stay away from the other girls. He PROMISED he'd change and now here we are on what is supposed to be a happy day about to argue over Danielle. I could feel my blood boiling. The longer he sat there and said nothing the madder I got

"I'm waiting"

"Angie please. I don't want to fight. It's not good for you to stress out or be upset."

"STOP avoiding it and tell me"

"You know I have questions of my own...like is that really MY baby or is it Colby's?  Huh?"

Jon's POV

I shouldn't have even brought that up. It wasn't fair and I'd already talked to April about it. I knew the truth, but I was trying to deflect the accusations away from me. She reached back and slapped me across the face and got out of bed. She was crying and pacing and I didn't know what to say. It was my own fault that she was like this right now. I got up and went over to her and tried to get her to calm down

"I don't even want you to touch me. Not after what you said and not while you smell like that fucking blonde whore."

"Angie please calm down. This isn't good for you or the baby to be doing this. Please try to relax."

"How can I relax when you just accused me of sleeping with Colby...AGAIN...how many times do I have to tell you it was only that ONE time! I don't bring up Eva Marie over and over and over and over do I?"

"Please stop yelling. Angela you need to just calm down"

I grabbed her arm and pulled her to me. I just wanted her to calm down so we could talk. She pushed me away again

"Don't touch me if you're going to smell like Danielle. Take a shower or something"

I went into the closet to change my clothes. This was a huge mistake on so many  levels. I just wanted her to be happy right now. It was a big day for her and I fucked it up by still holding Colby over her head. I came out of the closet and found her holding her stomach and doubled over

"Ang are you alright?"

She shook her head. I went over and helped her lay down. I laid next to her and softly stroked her hair. She cuddled close and started to cry

"Shhh Angie relax. I'm sorry OK. I shouldn't have said that to you. I know you only slept with Colby once. I didn't mean to bring it up again."

"Did you sleep with Danielle?"

I sighed and held her tight before answering because I didn't want her to pop up and try to leave

"Yes....but before you panic wait a minute.....she got in my head and made me doubt you. I'm really truly storry Angie. I don't know what else to say."

"Why Jon??? I love you. Don't you love me? Don't you love our family? Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"It means everything to me Angie!"

"Then why??"

"She told me the baby was Colby's. She had me believing it and I was hurt and wanted to get back at you and hurt you so I did it. I knew right away that it was wrong and I shouldn't have. Please forgive me Angie. I love you and only you. I promise that it meant nothing. I could never leave you"

She sobbed into my chest and I hated myself completely for this. I didn't know how to fix it. I didn't know how to change anything about it. All I care about right now is Angie and making sure she's OK. I put my hand on her stomach and whispered

"All I care about is you two. You're the most important girls in my life. I don't want to see anything happen to you."

I knew this didn't change a thing. I knew it didn't make it better. But it was a start in some direction. I held her until I heard soft snoring. I smiled and kissed her forehead before settling in and going to sleep. This was something we're going to have to work out in the morning.