Addicted

Meeting Bailey:Engaged?

I pulled up to an apartment building and parked my car. It wasn't a super fancy place, but it wasn't a dump either. I took a deep breath and blew it out and ran my fingers through my hair. I didn't realize I was going to be this nervous. My palms started to sweat and my heart was racing. I got out of the car and wiped my hands on my jeans and decided to take a few extra minutes to smoke a cigarette. I put it to my lips and went to light it, but the stupid lighter wouldn't work. I tried over and over but the damn thing must've been empty. SHIT! I got back in the car hoping that the car would have a lighter, but realized that new cars don't have lighters in them anymore. I got out and tried the lighter a few more times before giving up. I sighed deeply and broke the cigarette in half and threw it on the ground. Maybe it's a sign you didn't need the cigarette. I reached in the back seat and pulled out the small gift bag and the bouquet of flowers for Angie and started walking in the direction she gave me.

A million things started to pop into my head as I walked. What if she doesn't like me? What if this ends up being a horrible idea? What if I'm just not good enough? What if I can't do this? I walked up the stairs and stopped in front of the door to number 57. I could hear squealing and giggling inside and I chuckled to myself before knocking on the door

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!"

I could hear her running towards the door and I couldn't help but grin even though I knew that wasn't meant for me.

"Hold on...hold on...let's wait and see who it is. Stay here with Colby."

UGH! Colby? Really? He HAD to be here for this?? Asshole! I sighed in annoyance as the door unlocked and opened.

"Hi" 

She smiled and held open the door and pecked my lips.

"Hey. I got these for you."

She grinned from ear to ear and took them from me and went into the kitchen. I didn't know what else to do so I followed her and watched her dig around for something to put the flowers in

"Nervous?"

"A little...a lot actually" I answered letting out a sigh

She turned around, took my hand and smiled "Don't be. It'll be fine. Just remember that you can't expect everything to fall into place overnight. She's two and she doesn't remember you at all, Jon, so just don't be upset or expect too much."

I half smiled, looked down and nodded. She stepped to me and wraped her arms around me and hugged me. I hugged her back and never wanted to let go. It was so rare for her to initiate hugs or anything really that I just wanted to hold on.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Angie."

She pulled back and I gently kissed her lips. She blushed and backed away. I held up the small gift bag and handed it to her

"I got this..."

"For Bailey?"

I nodded and she smiled "Well, give it to her then"

I paused for a minute and looked at Angie. She stopped and looked at me and walked back over. She gave me a confused look as I looked down and half smiled. I was terrified. I was so afraid this was going to be a bad thing. I was starting to wonder if maybe I should've just stayed away forever and let her find me when she was older. I felt Angie take my hand and it broke my thoughts. I looked up at her and she smiled and gently tugged at my hand. I took it and placed it on my chest. My heart was racing. I was freaking out on the inside. She looked up at me and sighed

"Jon, relax. She's 2 not 18. Just give her the gift and go from there. She's your daughter."

I followed Angie into the living room and saw Bailey playing with Colby. My heart stopped when she looked in my direction and then stood up. I sat down with the bag at my feet and she ran over and stood in front of me and stared at me. She was blonde, like me, but looked a lot like Angie and had pretty blue/gray eyes. I smiled as I saw her eyeing the pink bag by my feet.