Addicted

Made A Decision?

I sat in a chair by the apartment window and stared out at the squirrels playing in the trees of the courtyard. I looked down at my wedding ring and sighed. I had so much to think about and I was feeling pressure from Colby to be with him. I didn't know what to do. I'm supposed to have a baby in 5 weeks and I don't even know if I'm going to be back home with Jon by then. I really needed some time away to figure it out.

"Angie are you alright?"

"Huh? I'm sorry Colby I was just thinking."

He took the ring from my hand, put it on the counter behind him and wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed my cheek

"You've been doing a lot of thinking since you got here."

"Isn't that the point? I need to figure things out Colby. This is kind of life changing ya know?"

"I know, but you just need to do it. You've already talked to the lawyer. Angie you're just delaying the inevitable. We're already practically together anyway."

"Wait...Colby we're not together. We're not even kind of together. Yeah we've done stuff since I got here, but that doesn't mean you're my boyfriend or something. I'm still married. I'm pregnant with my husbands child. I can't just say 'fuck it' and walk away."

He took my hand and pulled me up and gently raised my head to look at him

"Angie just because you're pregnant with Jon's baby doesn't mean you need to be with him. He doesn't deserve you. You deserve to be with someone who is going to treat you the way you should be treated"

"Oh...and that someone is YOU?"

He shrugged "Maybe. Maybe not. That's up to you. But don't think that you're trapped in this shitty relationship just because of a baby."

I wrapped my arms around his waist and rest my head on his chest. I felt so confused. I still loved Jon so much but I was starting to have feelings for Colby too. He reminded me of the way Jon was when we first started dating. He was sweet and funny and he cared about me and it showed. I hadn't seen that side of Jon in such a long time. He had his moments, but not like it was when we first got together. He pulled me back and leaned in and kissed me. I heard the sound of a photo being taken and I pulled back

"What is that?"

"Nothing. I just thought it was a cute picture. See."

He showed me the phone and I had to admit it was a cute picture. It made me smile and stood on my tiptoes and kissed him again. Colby pulled me closer and took over the kiss. I pulled away breathless

"Wait...what are you going to do with that picture?"

"Make it the background on my phone."  he said while trailing kisses down my neck

Jon's POV

I raised my head and squinted trying to find my cellphone in all of the haze. The damn thing wouldn't stop ringing and I just wanted to lay here and recover from this enormous hangover. I found it on Angie's nightstand. I clawed my way over to it and answered

"Yeah"

"Jon, what are you doing? Get up. Is Colby sending you picture messages?"

"What? Huh? I don't know April I've been too busy being hungover lately to pay attention to that shit. The fact that my phone isn't dead yet is a surprise."

"Dammit Jon. FIGHT for Angie. What is the matter with you? You're going to lose her AND your daughter to Colby if you don't get your shit together"

"I'm giving her space April. I'm trying to let her figure things out."

"Well, while you're busy drinking and giving her space Colby is swooping right in and taking advantage."

"Whatever"

I hung up on her and yawned. I plugged in my phone and stumbled to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. I could hear my message tone from the other room, but I didn't feel like dealing with it. The cold water woke me up a little so I stumbled my way to the kitchen and made a cup of coffee. The house was so empty, so lonely, so quiet without Angie here. I missed her and her laugh. I was worried about her and the baby and our marriage. Our family was everything to me. I made horrible mistakes and decisions. If this failed. If it ended I had no one but myself to blame. It may have started out as Colby's fault, but I fed into it and made into something much worse.

I spent the day doing a bunch of stuff around here that I've been neglecting and lounging around watching ESPN. I heard a message alert on my phone again so I got up and went to the bedroom to get it since I had been ignorning my phone all day. I pulled it from the charger and walked by Bailey's room and smiled. I stepped inside and sat in the middle of the floor. It was pretty much done with the exception of a few small things. Angie and Janelle worked so hard in here. My phone buzzed in my hand and I smiled seeing it was a text from Angie. I had several texts from her today and I got excited at the idea that she was at least trying to talk to me. Then I saw I had 2 messages from asshole...I mean Colby. I quickly ignored the notifications and read Angie's texts instead

Hi
I just wanted to tell you that I miss you
I just want to figure things out. I'm so confused and hurt. Please don't hate me
No matter what happens I'll always love you and you'll always be Bailey's daddy

I had to read the last message more than once. What was she trying to say? I could tell there was more behind that text than just a random statement

What do you mean Angie? I could never hate you.

I'm saying that regardless of the outcome of what I decide that I will always love you and that no one can take away that you're Bailey's father.

Are you leaving me?

.......I still don't know.......

I rolled my eyes and sighed in annoyance. She'd been living with Colby for 3 weeks now and she still didn't know what to do. I opened the text message from Colby and I about died. My heart started to race and my chest actually hurt. So this is how it feels? I didn't know what to think or how to feel. Everything just hurt inside. I suddenly understood how Angie felt seeing me with Janelle. Looking at this picture of Colby and Angie kissing just completely broke my heart.

Looks to me like you've already made your decision

I got up and stormed into the living room and started pacing in anger. I wanted to throw something. I balled up my fist and punched the wall as my eyes welled up with tears. This seriously hurt and I knew it was all my own fault. I pulled my hand from the wall and made my way to the kitchen for a beer. I pulled one out of the fridge and drank it immediately as I made an ice pack for my hand. Oh I forgot about this bottle. I started drinking the vodka and ignoring the ice pack. I sat on the couch and drank half of the bottle when the doorbell rang. I stumbled to the front door

"Can I talk to Angie?"

"My wife doesn't live here. Go talk to her boyfriend...he lives...somewhere"

"Jon your hand.."

I looked down but didn't really notice. She pushed her way inside and went to the kitchen for ice. I sat on the couch as she sat down and handed me the ice. I hated the way Janelle was looking at me...full of pity. I put the bottle to my lips and she took it away and shook her head.

"I don't care. I drank most of it before you got here" I slurred

"I can tell. Where's my sister?"

"She doesn't live here. She's too busy having all kinds of fun with my best...uh...former best friend...you know I drove her to him. It's my fault. I should never have even touched you, but I couldn't help it. I wanted you. I don't know. Whatever. It doesn't matter anyway. She's gone...gone..."

I started trailing off. Janelle grabbed my arm and pulled me up to stand. She put her arm around me and lead me to the bedroom