Addicted

Denial

My phone's message alert went off and I saw it was from Jon and I smiled. I opened it and my smile dropped

Looks to me like you've already made your decision

My heart sank. I didn't know what he meant by that. I hadn't decided anything.  Tears formed in my eyes as I answered back

What are you talking about? I haven't decided anything

As I hit send as a message from April came through

Angie...are you with Colby?

No, why?

The picture he took of the two of us kissing showed up on my screen. The tears streamed down my face and my heart raced when I saw it. He fucking sent it to Jon. That son of a bitch took that picture on purpose. I slowly got up from the chair and went into the living room where he was laying on the couch watching TV

"How could you?!"

He looked up and laughed a little until he saw me crying. He stood up and took my hands and then wrapped his arms around me.

"Angie I'm sorry...."

"You sent it to anyone who is important to me....April?? You sent it to Jon??? Colby WHY!!??? You know how I feel about him. You know what I'm going through. Don't you realize what you're doing hurts me too???!!!??"

"Hurts you? Angie I'm doing this for you!! I'm trying to help push you in the right direction. Jon doesn't deserve you...you..."

"And you do? Is that what you're trying to say??? Do you think that by doing any of the shit you're doing it is going to make me want you??? Fuck you!"

He pulled me back and wiped the tears from my eyes and sighed.

"Angela why can't you see how much I care about you? Why can you only see Jon? I would never hurt you the way he hurts you. I...I just honestly don't understand it"

"I do see it Colby and I know you'd never do anything to hurt me the way he has. But you hurt me in other ways that sometimes makes what Jon does seem almost acceptable because YOU created it.  Does that make sense?"

He caressed my cheek and turned to walk away. I grabbed his hand and lightly tugged on it

"Colby wait." he turned back "I'll tell you what I told Jon earlier. I'm just very confused and hurt. I need to figure things out.  Colby I'm in love with Jon, but I'm starting to have feelings for you too. I can't ignore them because they're there. I want to make the right decision and do the right thing for me and for Bailey. Please try to understand and give me my space. Stop trying to force a relationship with me."

We sat on the couch and I cuddled up to Colby and laid my head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me.

"I love you Angie. I know you don't feel the same, but I just wanted you to know."

I raised my head up to look at him and half smiled. He kissed my forehead and smiled. I put my head back down and drifted off to sleep. I woke up on the couch alone, but I heard Colby talking to someone at the front door. I didn't want to be nosy, but I was curious so I peeked around the corner and saw Janelle. How the fuck did she find me here? She looked up and saw me and Colby turned around and looked at me and then stepped aside

"Don't you dare upset her"

She walked up to me and stood with her head down. I had no idea what she was looking for or what she wanted me to say. I figured she knew exactly how I felt based on the last thing I said to her.

"What?"

"Angie...I don't know what to say"

"Then why the fuck are you here? What do you want? I thought I made it pretty clear how I feel about you the last time we were in the same room. I take it you're still fucking my husband since you smell like cigarettes and peppermint...get out of my sight"

"I went to your house to talk to you. He was drunk and had punched a wall. I made him an ice pack and helped him to bed...I..."

"Yeah I'm SURE you 'helped' him into bed."

"That's all that happened Angie I swear."

"You're supposed to be my sister. I can't even look at you. You're just dead to me. I would NEVER do something to you like you've done to me."

"Jon came on to me Angie. I didn't...."

"Yeah but you didn't stop him AND you kept doing it afterwards. HOW COULD YOU Janelle??? HOW??? You're a whore. I don't even know you anymore."

She was crying and I knew she felt bad, but it didn't change anything. I was done. I didn't want her around. I didn't want to see her. I didn't even want to talk to her, but she took the time to come out here so I figured I might as well TRY to hear her out.

"I know you hate me. I'm just sorry. I don't know what's going on here, but you need to go home Ang. Jon needs you. You don't have a clue how much he loves you"

"Just leave"

"You've given up already haven't you? I can tell. You aren't going back....Angie that's such a mistake"

"I haven't decided"

"Yes you have. It's written all over your face. You do realize what this is going to do to Jon right?"

"Goodbye"

I turned my back to her as she walked out of the door. Colby came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek. I leaned back against him and sighed. I honestly didn't know what to do, but I knew that I was almost 90 percent certain I wasn't going back.