Addicted

Jokes That Hurt

"Hey Sandra"

I walked up to Sandra and handed her my ring gear

"How are you Angie? What can I help you with?"

"Um my ring gear. Can you take it in again?" I said in a hushed tone, almost embarrassed.

"Again? Angie this is the third time in 6 weeks I think. Are you OK?"

"Yeah I'm fine. I've just been doing a lot of CrossFit and stuff with The Shield and so I've lost weight"

She had me take off my over sized Shield hoodie and started measuring to make sure she could alter my stuff. I hadn't wrestled in a few weeks. I didn't have the strength that I did and my dramatic weight loss was starting to show. She smiled and wrote it all down and told me to come back in a few hours. I put my hoodie back on and went to the locker room.

I wore this hoodie pretty much every single day, every where I went. It was the middle of summer and I didn't need to stay warm. I was trying to hide the way I looked from everyone. My self confidence was at an all time low and nothing even Jon could say could make it better. It's kind of his fault to begin with, but I would never tell him that. I was constantly trying to be perfect for him, knowing full well that he loved me just the way I was. I never felt good enough for him.

I stood in front of the full length mirror and took off the hoodie and stared at myself. I didn't think I was THAT skinny. I don't know what Sandra is talking about. I turned to the side and then back to the front and sighed. Maybe like 5 more pounds and then I'll be good. I took off my shirt and stood in my sports bra and stared at the bruises. I bruise so much more easily now.

6 weeks ago:

"Hey beautiful"

He grinned and grabbed me from behind around my waist. I giggled and tried to escape. He spun me around and started kissing me

"Other people in the room!!"

Colby yelled as he walked in the door with Joe. I blushed and ducked away from Jon and went to the bathroom to change into my ring gear. I had a match against Nikki Bella and I was really excited about it. I'd been working my way up the roster hoping to get a title shot with April. I changed and came out of the bathroom and started lacing up my boots

"Have you gained weight?"

"Huh? Well...yeah a little...couple pounds...like 3 I think. Why?" I said confused and stood up

He poked me in my stomach "Lookin a little pudgy in your gear"

Colby: "Jesus Jon you can't just say something like that to her. What is wrong with you?"

"She knows I'm kidding. Right?"

I gave a fake smile and nodded "Yeah of course."

"Yeah well, kidding or not that's really not something you should be saying Jon. It's mean. I think you look great Angie. I have no idea what he's talking about."

Jon: "Kiss ass"

I smiled, kissed Jon and headed out the door to the gorilla. I was trying really hard to suck it in and hide the way I looked. I went into the locker room and stood in front of the full length mirror and stared at myself. April walked over and stopped to see what I was doing

"April, do I look pudgy or fat?"

"No, why who said that?"

"No one. I was just curious. I feel like this gear is kind of tight and like this is here"